Reinventing your self an inquiry into ethics

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Camille

I mean look at it this way (and no offense to you Naomi) you have already had Naomi say she has looked at whois...which contains real info. What if a really disgruntled guy did that?

Camille,

No offense taken love.

A lot of clients/on lookers do this. I have Google Analytics installed in my site where I can see where traffic is coming from. I can also see what keywords people are using to find me. Now 9 people in the past 2 months attempted to look up my info through whois. Why are they doing that? I don't know but kinda makes you wonder. Do they really think I will not enable whois privacy? Yeah right.

[Camille]

Wayward...

Let me share with you an example of my own.
About 18 months ago I was robbed and assaulted in Milwaukee.
It's the first time anything like that happened to me.
I had screened this guy to the extent that I had all his work info and he had 2 provider refs. Nothing at all seemed off about him when we met.
During the assault I got angry before I got scared...but I quickly realized that he had planned this, it was not opportunistic. In that second, I realized he could be carrying a weapon. Needless to say, I got myself into a position where I calmly told him to take the money and go. He did. I switched hotels immediately and flew home the next morning.

I posted a note about this guy asking women to contact me for his info.
What I didn't realize was that he had attacked and robbed 2 other women about 3 weeks before and they had BC'd the info..including to some men. These men were horrified and took it upon themselves to form a sort of vigilante group. That shit scared me and I took a huge step back as I could see the train wreck coming!! They started harrassing him at home and at work (he worked for the gov) and it all started to get really messy. It could so easily have gone bad. Really bad. Whilst I obviously felt there should be some consequences for his actions (thus my intention to share his info with other women) I had no idea that men were involved and would react that way...which was totally out of my control. I found that very frightening....and it made me re-think how I would share any nefarious info in future.

C

[Camille]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Camille,

No offense taken love.

A lot of clients/on lookers do this. I have Google Analytics installed in my site where I can see where traffic is coming from. I can also see what keywords people are using to find me. Now 9 people in the past 2 months attempted to look up my info through whois. Why are they doing that? I don't know but kinda makes you wonder. Do they really think I will not enable whois privacy? Yeah right.

I know Naomi, I don't get it either. I remember when I had my other website (when I first went indy) and my webmaster told me that people were looking at whois. I couldn't understand why anyone would do that? For what purpose? I have come to the conclusion that being able to find out a persons real info just makes some people feel empowered.
This has been an interesting thread anyway...and it's always good to hear the whys, hows and ifs.

Have a good Monday all...

C xxx

[Guest042611]

I actually think it makes a lot of sense. The guys who see you could easily develop feelings—if not deep ones, then maybe just a crush. Have you never MySpace or Google stalked someone you had a crush on? I think it's very natural for people to be curious, particularly when escorts are using stage names and creating an air of mystique around their personas. I don't really consider mild Internet-stalking someone to be predatory—if all this information is so readily available to people, it makes sense that they'd search for it. So that's why I was always careful not to host my site under my real name! I think many people don't understand how uncomfortable it can actually make an escort feel, particularly if they felt any sort of genuine connection with you. I would bet there are plenty of men who do this without any bad intention.

That said, I'm so sorry to hear you were real-life stalked and assaulted.

Originally Posted by Camille

I know Naomi, I don't get it either. I remember when I had my other website (when I first went indy) and my webmaster told me that people were looking at whois. I couldn't understand why anyone would do that? For what purpose? I have come to the conclusion that being able to find out a persons real info just makes some people feel empowered.
This has been an interesting thread anyway...and it's always good to hear the whys, hows and ifs.

Have a good Monday all...

C xxx

[NinaBrooke]

dp

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Natalie

I actually think it makes a lot of sense. The guys who see you could easily develop feelings—if not deep ones, then maybe just a crush. Have you never MySpace or Google stalked someone you had a crush on? I think it's very natural for people to be curious, particularly when escorts are using stage names and creating an air of mystique around their personas. I don't really consider mild Internet-stalking someone to be predatory—if all this information is so readily available to people, it makes sense that they'd search for it. So that's why I was always careful not to host my site under my real name! I think many people don't understand how uncomfortable it can actually make an escort feel, particularly if they felt any sort of genuine connection with you. I would bet there are plenty of men who do this without any bad intention.

That said, I'm so sorry to hear you were real-life stalked and assaulted.

HI Natalie , I agree with what you stated. And .. hosting under your real name? NO one does that. Ever. That is what companies are there for. I am not a stalker but i have the habit of putting people`s homepages in whois, (and mine as well) just out of curiousity. Doesn`t mean something - and in my case it even saved another escort the embarassment.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by Natalie

Have you never MySpace or Google stalked someone you had a crush on?

Nah! Different generation. We passed hand written notes in home room.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by pjorourke

Nah! Different generation. We passed hand written notes in home room.

I didn't. I was the kid that always got caught and took the fall for PJ & the boys.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Natalie

Have you never MySpace or Google stalked someone you had a crush on?

While using my boyfriend's PC (now ex), I went through his computer history and found out that he had been googling me.
Two years into a relationship and you're still googling? WOW! I was pissed.

[sofiaofhouston]

Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

We can change our names? Shit, I've used my real one this whole time OMG!

me too, what shall we do?

[sofiaofhouston]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

I almost spilled my coke laughing. I know exactly who your talking about. On her website, doesn't it say that she's "intelligent, well-educated"?... LOL!

You would even think people would be smart enough to use Whois privacy when registering their domain name but nope. *sigh*

Should be proven not declared. The declaration makes it look like your trying to hard don't you think?

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by sofiaofhouston

Should be proven not declared. The declaration makes it look like your trying to hard don't you think?

I agree .

[Wayward]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

Sadly WW?...that can only be answered by the one with the knowledge of the facts. That would be you.

I would suggest you...

1) Step back and determine your motivations. Are you doing this for noble (good of the community) reasons, or vindictive (personal vendetta) reasons?

2) What is the severity of the known infraction? In other words, an infraction that involves a Diamond talking some idiot out of a few extra dollars is not the same as an infraction of blackmailing some Tuxedo. Of course as we know, in real life, there are all kinds of shades of gray inbetween.

3) Based on the severity of the infraction, is there a way to provide this information in a less obtrusive manner that has less chance of unintended consequences?

4) Finally, in the interest of self preservation, you had better make sure whatever you do does not have a way of impacting you negatively...at least not in a manner that has any real meaning.

But in the end...it is up to you. You weigh all the facts you know, you make a self reflective check of you own shortcomings, and you take a step into the unknown (i.e the future)...and you live with the consequences. There ain't much way around that.

Somehow I think you know most of this. But we all look for that magic formula that tells us the right answer. Sadly, most of the time, there ain't one.

RK I thinck most of us have a moral compass of some sort. Mine like the rest of me is flawed but it's still there. I have a pretty good notion about what to do and how to do it. Without too much collateral dammage. This isn't just about one provider but a series of them and the acts range from blackmail, extortion, theft, outing and some that seem worse.

My proof in some of this I was directly involved, in others the proof is out there on the interwebs for anyone to see. One of the provider personas that concerns me was removed after this thread was started. While this might be shocking to me, please note very heavy use of sarcasm, or Wakingup few of the Diamonds or Tuxes would be surprised.

In most all of the cases and I want to be really clear about this, it isn't a one time misunderstanding or a moment of confusion about a "loan" to a provider, this is seriously bad shit. Some lost a job, someone had their real name posted on the internet linking them to this world. Someone was threatened on this board in PM or email. In other cases we are talking about a pattern of several handles for one provider that are linked to some pretty wrong behavior, cash and dash, blackmail and out right theft.

Of course in the things that affected me directly my motivations are suspect, how could they not be. In other cases sure I might not like the person involved but how much of that is personal animus and how much is based on their behavior, no easy answer to that and it's one of the things I'm looking for help on. If the pattern of behavior is bad enough, does it really matter or isn't the information the most important thing.

As for my personal rep, it's just not that big a deal to me anymore, I've been called everything from a Murdering Rat Bastard to a baby killing rapist, been around long enough for most to know my actual nature. Sure I make mistakes get it wrong now and then, but can admit it when I do, apologize and move on. The notion that I am famous for paying a lot of women for their time over a large number of years is amusing but not a real part of my sense of self.

[Sisyphus]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

Sadly WW?...that can only be answered by the one with the knowledge of the facts. That would be you.

I would suggest you...

1) Step back and determine your motivations. Are you doing this for noble (good of the community) reasons, or vindictive (personal vendetta) reasons?

LOL...I'm sorry, in advance, for finding the humor in asking if it must be one or the other? IOW, I guess my question in response to the question..since this is a discussion framed in ethics...is it "wrong" to do the "right" thing for a "wrong" reason??

My experience with such matters - granted, much less than many others here & elsewhere - is that important information as to whom might be a threat to one's safety here is often disseminated for what might be considered less than noble reasons.

Again, my apologies in advance for seeing the humor in this. I guess I'm just goofy that way...

Originally Posted by Wayward

RK I thinck most of us have a moral compass of some sort. Mine like the rest of me is flawed but it's still there. I have a pretty good notion about what to do and how to do it. Without too much collateral dammage. This isn't just about one provider but a series of them and the acts range from blackmail, extortion, theft, outing and some that seem worse.

My proof in some of this I was directly involved, in others the proof is out there on the interwebs for anyone to see. One of the provider personas that concerns me was removed after this thread was started. While this might be shocking to me, please note very heavy use of sarcasm, or Wakingup few of the Diamonds or Tuxes would be surprised.

In most all of the cases and I want to be really clear about this, it isn't a one time misunderstanding or a moment of confusion about a "loan" to a provider, this is seriously bad shit. Some lost a job, someone had their real name posted on the internet linking them to this world. Someone was threatened on this board in PM or email. In other cases we are talking about a pattern of several handles for one provider that are linked to some pretty wrong behavior, cash and dash, blackmail and out right theft.

Of course in the things that affected me directly my motivations are suspect, how could they not be. In other cases sure I might not like the person involved but how much of that is personal animus and how much is based on their behavior, no easy answer to that and it's one of the things I'm looking for help on. If the pattern of behavior is bad enough, does it really matter or isn't the information the most important thing.

As for my personal rep, it's just not that big a deal to me anymore, I've been called everything from a Murdering Rat Bastard to a baby killing rapist, been around long enough for most to know my actual nature. Sure I make mistakes get it wrong now and then, but can admit it when I do, apologize and move on. The notion that I am famous for paying a lot of women for their time over a large number of years is amusing but not a real part of my sense of self.

I think you've just answered your own question, Padre. If one...or more...interacting here under persona is guilty of such behavior under a previous - or concurrent - persona, then present what you believe to be clear & convincing proof.

Let the chips fall where they may....

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by Sisyphus

is it "wrong" to do the "right" thing for a "wrong" reason??

LOL. A man after my own heart. IMO, yeah it is probably wrong to do the right thing for the wrong reason...but it nevertheless can be a lot of fun.