I LOVE YOU SAID THE CLIENT

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Anita Lay

ACP, you wrote - It requires a different set of social and attraction skills you've probably never developed. WHO ARE YOU REFERRING TO? Remeber one thing my dear, you are on this board hanging out doing the same thing EVERYONE is doing. Why insult your peers?
Let me remind you, in Real Life you have all different kinds of relationships that has to do with social & attraction skills.. bringing up social skills is another side step to make someone feel bad. Some ppl get off on trying to undermind someone by making himself feel superior. If thats a aquired skill of making someone attracted to you then you may to reconsider it.
I am on the same fkn page as Ballini and I hope we missunderstood something here to shed a better light on ones high and mighty azz.

Anita,

He was referring to me, I am quite certain. While I do not agree with him about this I did not take it as insulting me. After some PMs I understand his POV a little better. I don't believe it fits the majority of people on here, but if it works for him, fine.

ACP,

In some ways you are right, but you also miss the boat on me. As is often the case there are a lot of things in my past that developed and shaped my opinions and preferences. Do I allow myself to see past a beautiful lady laying on the bed with me and see the person there as well? Yes. Sometimes I like what I see, sometimes I don't, and most the time nothing develops of it. But I do probably develop more friendships in this business--both shallow and deep--than most. That part of me you have accurately described.

But to assume it implies I have no such relationships with other people outside this business is very mistaken. First, by livelihood revolves around interpersonal skills and developing a variety of relationships. The people who pay me think I do it very well. I believe it is more likely that the skills and listening abilities I developed for work have carried over into my playtime and have proven very helpful there.

Do I help out people outside of those I meet here? Yes, actually I do. And I develop very similar friendships of varying degrees with them as well--mostly not involving sex. I do admit I have a weakness for single moms (regardless of occupation) who have been shunned by their religious zealot families--the blatant hypocrisy of such families angers me. I'm not going into the reasons though I don't need a psychiatrist to explain it to me; they are not this board's business.

So please do not categorize me as you do. My reasons and my psychological needs/wants are not what you think. And my friendships with ladies in this business does not interfere with my ability to develop "real" relationships outside this corner of the world.

Again, I will never say that my views are right for anyone else. I will say I know other guys in this business who feel as I do. Nothing we do hurts any of the guys who feel as you do.

Anita,

I think you wil find I speak my mind on here, whether with ACP, Burkalini, or almost anyone else. I rarely, rarely let the differences of opinion annoy me (though I admit a recent response to Rambo was written with some anger and was probably evident). I doubt I will change ACP's views; I know he won't change my basic beliefs.

[acp5762]

In some ways you are right, but you also miss the boat on me. As is often the case there are a lot of things in my past that developed and shaped my opinions and preferences. Do I allow myself to see past a beautiful lady laying on the bed with me and see the person there as well? Yes. Sometimes I like what I see, sometimes I don't, and most the time nothing develops of it. But I do probably develop more friendships in this business--both shallow and deep--than most. That part of me you have accurately described.

But to assume it implies I have no such relationships with other people outside this business is very mistaken. First, by livelihood revolves around interpersonal skills and developing a variety of relationships. The people who pay me think I do it very well. I believe it is more likely that the skills and listening abilities I developed for work have carried over into my playtime and have proven very helpful there.

Do I help out people outside of those I meet here? Yes, actually I do. And I develop very similar friendships of varying degrees with them as well--mostly not involving sex. I do admit I have a weakness for single moms (regardless of occupation) who have been shunned by their religious zealot families--the blatant hypocrisy of such families angers me. I'm not going into the reasons though I don't need a psychiatrist to explain it to me; they are not this board's business.

So please do not categorize me as you do. My reasons and my psychological needs/wants are not what you think. And my friendships with ladies in this business does not interfere with my ability to develop "real" relationships outside this corner of the world.

Again, I will never say that my views are right for anyone else. I will say I know other guys in this business who feel as I do. Nothing we do hurts any of the guys who feel as you do.

Old-T,

Well first of all. I have no desire to change another persons view. I also have no desire to insult anybody, although many people get insulted from what I've posted. I don't doubt you don't have relationships outside of this "hobby". From what your posts reveal your relationships in and outside this hobby have a common denominator. That common denominator could possibly be, to befriend and to help. Now maybe it's none of my buisness of what your views are or why you do what you do. By your own admittance you revealed you have a weakness for single mothers who have been shunned by their religious zealot families. Thats a rather specific weakness. I don't know how this would relate to women in or out of this hobby but apparently it must be something that is easily recognized by you. We all enter into relationships on various premises. You seem to base many if not all of your relationships on your ability to "help". Help who and what for? Relationships are based on an intricate set of traits that draw two people together in the form of attraction. That attraction is derived from both physical and emotional factors. Not on ones ability or willingness to help and the others submission to being helped. A man that derives his relationships with women based on that premise can be described as having a " Knight In Shining Armor Syndrome" Men who posses traits of the "Knight In Shining Armor" have an over abundant need to act as the savior to women or the damsel in distress. They do this under the guise of loving, thoughful, compassionate ways. They want to be admired and revered as the "nice guy". All men posses these traits to some extent. As men, we are natural protectors and providers. When these traits are overly exploited and become the basis for us entering into relationships with women. Those relationships become an illusion of romance.

[Old-T]

You certainly have not insulted me, I can't speak for anyone else.

I hear what you are saying, but I wouldn't say I have any illusions of romance; I can distinguish friendship from romance most the time. And the helping hand comes after the friendship develops, not in the other order.

Last quick comment: in regard to "apparently it [single mothers] must be something that is easily recognized by you." It's actually easier than you might think: a couple massage classes, a bottle of oil, a few candles, and an attentive ear (or two).

[luvkissess1]

i have had a dozen or so say they love me.. more than once .. in person and in texts or emails .. some have even tried talking me into moving to their area so they dont have to wait to see me .. ( I GO EVERY 2 WKS) LOL .. I luv all my friends to bits !!! its respect i feel ... they all say my personality is great.. the skills are icing on the cake .... to each his own .. its how i make them feel..

and im sure thats true for every hobbyist that has uttered those words to one of us girls...

[acp5762]

Originally Posted by luvkissess1

i have had a dozen or so say they love me.. more than once .. in person and in texts or emails .. some have even tried talking me into moving to their area so they dont have to wait to see me .. ( I GO EVERY 2 WKS) LOL .. I luv all my friends to bits !!! its respect i feel ... they all say my personality is great.. the skills are icing on the cake .... to each his own .. its how i make them feel..

and im sure thats true for every hobbyist that has uttered those words to one of us girls...

How do you feel about clients saying they love you? I am a little curious about something. If you were to continue to require your regular hourly donation for any one of them to spend time with you, but excluded any sexual contact from your repotoire. How do you think that arrangement would turn out, and would they still say they loved you?

[Liana Lima]

Providers have very intimate relations with the clients they see. For some clients the only intimacy they have is paid for. Sad really, I am a very UTR provider and see only a select few so sometimes it can get very intense. I love all my companions but there is a strict boundary that I do not allow either party to cross. While we are together they get love, intimacy and everythingthat goes along with it from Liana. When we part I am now in my real life and that love and intimacy just doesn't exist.

[Anita Lay]

ACP... good question dear.

[Likinikki]

Anita, I think I've experienced just about every type of relationship during my hobby experience. I've met men (single & married) who (thought they) have fallen in love and offered to take me out of the hobby...I met one man who wanted to leave his wife and kids...I've met men who I've fallen for and stopped asking for donations...I've met men who have given me lavish gifts and still do...and, I have made some truly geniune non-bcd friends here.

However, I've NEVER told anyone that I'm AVAILABLE for a relationship outside the hobby, and especially marriage! The one hobbyist who wanted to get a divorce...I told him he's out of his mind and that the *grass is never greener on the other side,* and told him to go get some counseling...and have stopped seeing him.

Whenever there's intimacy involved, for some, the lines do get blurred. It's up to each of us to take responsibility for our decisions and actions.

I've seen and known couples who have chosen to cross that line and make a success of their relationships, but those are very rare instances...but, not impossible.

There's never a guarantee...even in the *real world* when it comes to relationships. You have to take that chance...and have hope that it's truly, love...and not just the idea of love.

And, taking those chances in the hobby world...well, it would take a very special combination of personalities and situations to make it successful...and who are we to judge whether anyone should or shouldn't? To each their own...it's not as if all providers are just money hungry women who look at men as an atm machine!

Some providers are actually educated, very intelligent, kind, compassionate, and not greedy...and, yes, some (like myself) have given something for nothing!

I know several civillian single/married women who are having sex with several men at the same time...getting bills paid, plastic surgery, salon trips, botox, vacations, new clothing/jewelry...and, two of them are giving their young boy toys a few incidentals. (lol)

So, let's not label providers (hookers, whatever) as being the only women that get compensated! We just get a bad rap for being honest about our intentions!