Humor. Maybe?

[Guest082216-1]

A guy went to a shrink. After listening to his problems, the doctor said: "I think your problem is low self-esteem, It's very common among total losers".

Guy want to a therapst who asked;"How is your sex life?"
The man admited he had lots of issues with sex.
"hmm. What kind of issues?"
"Oh, mostly Playboy and Hustler"

Whats the difference between toliet paper and toast?
Toast is brown on both sides.

How do you know your really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed

SJ, this one is for you :-)

What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
He grows taller!
(Luv ya man)

How do you know if a woman used a vibrator when she was pregnant?
The child stutters.

Happy Hobbying all!!!!

[mmcqtx]

If Santa was a pimp would all the elves be ho, ho, ho's?

If your dentist was a pimp, would he still tell all of his patients to spit?

What do you call a lesbian with thick fingers? well hung

Why did Michael Jackson wear his glove to bed? it was playing hard to get

Why did the Greek boy leave home? he didn't like the way he was being reared
Why did he return? he couldn't bare to leave his brothers behind

[filbone]

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two if you can get them in there.

[Guest082216-1]

2 hookers were standing on a New York street corner.
one said: " It's going to be a good night. I can smell cock in the air"
The other said:" No, I just burped"

[Guest070213]

One night an Arkansas boy shot and killed his newlywed bride. His daddy heard the noise and came running across the clearing to see what had happened.

Dad: Boy, why did you shoot and kill your bride on your honeymoon night?

Son: Dad, she was a virgin.

Dad: What difference does that make?

Son: If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours.

[Garland_Bone]

These are horrible. hope I don't get banned, lol.

What happens when a tall woman lies with a short man?
--When they're nose to nose, he can stick his toes in.
--When they're toe to toe, he can stick his nose in.

What happens when a tall man lies with a short woman?
--When they're toe to toe, she can lick it.
--When they're nose to nose, she can flick it (between her toes)

What did Santa say when he saw 3 providers being chased by the incredible hulk?
"ho ho ho, green giant!"

Did you hear about the eskimo woman who had a one night stand and woke up 6 months pregnant? (arctic circle, 6 month winter/darkness..., oh never mind)

boy: mama, where do babies come from?
mama: from the stork.
boy: but mama, who fucks the stork?

An inexperienced young man , prior to his wedding, asked his father how to conduct himself. "Well", said the father, "you take the thing you used to play withwhen you were a teenager, and put it where your wife wee-wees". So the young man took his baseball and threw it in the toilet.

An airplane passenger, being served drinks by the stewardess, exclaimed, "Hey, here's something new...,an ice cube with a hole in it!"
"What's new about that?" answered the man sitting alongside, "I married one."

A man to his dance partner: "honey, do you know the minuet?"
Her: "Hell, I don't even remember the men I've laid."

Definition of gynecologist: spreader of wive's tales.

A lady was complaining to her friend that her husband only wants to "eat it".
The friend tells her, "try rubbing garlic on your pussy."
She said, "I did, but the next night he came to bed with some lettuce and olive oil."

A man asks his wife, "Before we got married, did you say you were oversexed, or over sex ?"

There was an old man from Nantucket
whose cock was so long
he could suck it.
he said, with a grin,
as he wiped off his chin,
if my ear was a cunt,
I could fuck it!

Did you hear about the young man who was thrown out of the boyscouts for eating brownies?

The recently married bride was perplexed when her husband announced that he had found a new position. "What's that, honey?"
"We lie back to back."
"but, what kind of position is that?"
"You'll see. Another couple is joining us."

Two kids were having the standard argument about whose father could beat up whose father.
One boy says, "my father is beter than your father."
The other boys says, "well, my mother is better than your mother."
The first boy paused, "I guess you're right. My father says the same thing."

A census taker asked a girl to give her occupation.
"Whore", she answered.
"I can't list it that way, miss."
"Okay, put down prostitute."
"I can't list that eiher."
"How about chicken raiser?"
"Chicken raiser?"
"Yeah, last year I raised 900 cocks."

Virginity is like a balloon; one prick, and it's gone.

A cosmetic tip:
What can a girl put behind her ears to make herself more inviting to a man?
her ankles!

okay, I will stop now. don't throw any fruit at me!

[Prolongus]

A young mother is giving her 5 year old son a bath. The little boy points to his dick and asks: "Mommy, is this where my brain is?" Mother says "Not yet..."