Hey, lap dances actually can produce some injuries. Back when the Gold Club had the pedestals for "table dances" I leaned back in my chair enough that my "package"(still in my pants) rested on top of the pedestal. The dancer stepped right on my penis with her heel. A few years later, another girl bloodied my nose with the back of her head during a lap dance (pedestals out of the picture now). She was dangling her long hair in my lap, dragging it back and forth, side to side, I bent my head down to look and she "popped" her head back to make her hair flip, and wham! Cranio-nasal impact.
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Watch those stilettoes!
