What were your thoughts?????

[Alex Lieberman]

Everyone has an image or idea of what "the hobby" is before they dabble in it or enter it either as a hobbyist or a provider. It is usually an image that Hollywood has created.

What was the image you had and was it on target are far off from reality?

Alex

[Laurentius]

Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

Everyone has an image or idea of what "the hobby" is before they dabble in it or enter it either as a hobbyist or a provider. It is usually an image that Hollywood has created.

What was the image you had and was it on target are far off from reality?

Alex

I never watched TV and still don't so my conception of the profession was mostly formed from books written in the 1800s.

I have discovered that there is no single reality to any of this. Everything is as individual as the participants.

As much as people may say there are rules, there really aren't any.

[Camille]

I didn't have any prior thoughts...I was too focused on the ends it was a means to the first time I entered this arena. That's when an agency comes in REALLY handy. The second time was based on personal knowledge.

C

[Rudyard K]

I didn't really have much of a perception...guess I had never given it much thought. When I first got into this my main focus was not getting busted.

By the time I got involved...I guess I already knew that people are people, no matter where you are or what you are doing. There are good people, there are bad people, and there is everything inbetween. No matter what activity you engage in...those same types are there. One just needs to be good at figuring them out. Slowly wading into the shallow end of the pool generally keeps you from swallowing too much water.

[RachaelBenedict]

I thought I was going to feel alot more shame and have more issues with myself (rather than overcoming some deeper "issues" and insecurities). I thought I'd experience guilt and angst, but the reverse happened (no one-night-stand guy drama in this world). I also thought the guys were going to be much creepier... I didn't think I'd like the people I meet quite so much.

I didn't know which stereotype to buy into (super glam, jet-setting... or the victimized messed up damsel-in-distress). I hoped for adventures and escape, either way...

I had a job when I started this that was (barely) making ends meet, so I decided to create my new "brand" in the highest quality I could and do what seemed right for me. I did my own site so not like I was really out anything but time I was at home alone being bored anyway...

[Alex Lieberman]

Racheal,

I have to say that my feelings and views are right in line with yours.

[atlcomedy]

Alex, I'm not being critical of you using the term, "hobby," as it seems to be par for the course here, but until I ran across ASPD I never heard such cleaned up euphemisims as "hobbyist" or "provider" etc.

Edited to add: on the other hand a lot of the slang terms used for both sides by the general public may not be fair, polite or helpful in improving one's self worth at least they don't try to duck from the reality of what is going on BCD.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

Everyone has an image or idea of what "the hobby" is before they dabble in it or enter it either as a hobbyist or a provider. It is usually an image that Hollywood has created.

What was the image you had and was it on target are far off from reality?

Alex

I'd been daydreaming about entering into companionship since my early teens. My initial contact with this world was devastatingly disappointing and was ready to quit after my first day.

I didn't have any Hollywood ideas, but I didn't expect such detachment, coldness, lack of humanity. I also didn't think it would take as long as it did to meet gentlemen I would happily enter into a mistress relationship with.

It took me about five years to really get my groove on. It took me nearly nine to have what I had imagined in my early teens.

In the end, I had to stop listening to everyone who said "that's impossible", "that's not how this works", "these are the rules", and take a chance at doing things exactly as I wanted to. Once I stopped taking the advice of other people and gained confidence in my own good judgment, starting to dancing to the beat of my own drum, the overall experience improved a great deal and I was much happier.

[RunSilent RunDeep]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

<snip> I didn't have any Hollywood ideas, but I didn't expect such detachment, coldness, lack of humanity. <snip>

I think that "detachment, coldness, lack of humanity" sums up pretty well what I thought was really going on, behind the "hot to trot" marketing hype in the CL & BP ads.

I expected it to be commercial and impersonal. As I put it in a discussion on another board, "Here's $$." "OK, here's XX." "Thanks, bye." "Uh, who are you?"

Hardly appealing. Shucks, ISTM a guy would have to be pretty desperate to settle for that. Never got that desperate.

Then I stumbled across a blog or two by ladies who described their work in personal terms. (Not sure, but I think the first I found was Amanda Brooks's blog.) This was my first encounter with providers as human beings. Better! -- much better!

After finding a few more blogs, I found some boards -- this one, another board that's local to my area -- where the ladies joined the conversations. Yeah, some of their postings were also marketing hype; but some also talked about things (such as this topic) in personal terms (within reasonable limits of course).

The experiences I've had since I found that first blog have all been very positive. In part, I think they reflect differences between ladies who are employees (whether the boss is a pimp or a madam) -- and must satisfy someone else's impersonal expectations -- and ladies who are self-employed -- who need satisfy only their own expectations.

But that's only my guess, and I'm happy to be corrected by ladies who understand these situations better.