When girls don't put out!!

[lacanterra]

This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humour!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[SpursFan]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Excellent joke!

SF

[sanantonioman37]

lmao

[Bull149]

Hey Guys, that is not a joke. It is truth presented in an alagorical form.

[elbuddy]

thought it said "When girls don't pull out!!!"...LMAO

[MsPrittiKitti]

lol...too funny!!! haha...just hold the stuff

[golfnwine]

I've had the first part played on me lately.
I think I will try the second and see if I stayed married.
LOL

[Sexy Roxanne]

LMAO that was a good one! I need to remember this with the men, seems like I am the guy in this story!

[Likinikki]

Haha...good one!

[tim_29m]

Funny but eerily true!!

[Sarah Owens]

te hee hee that was amazing here i was thinking what the heck is he doing you dont reward bad behavior... smart man lol...