Falling in Love

[bluffcityguy]

Originally Posted by Eccie42

I need to fall in love with a provider about as much as I need another hole in my head! It's complicated enough in the civilian world. If I developed even the slightest crush, I'd never see them again. JMO though.

That's the wisest course of action. Alas, too many of us aren't wise enough to see the wisdom of it unless:

Originally Posted by fun.time.hobbyist

Can it happen? Yes. Is it necessarily going to work? The odds are definitely against you on this one. It's a slippery slope to go down this road. I've been there and will never go back there again. If I ever start to fall for a provider again, I'll pack up and never see her again. I'm not here for love. I forgot that once, got burned and lost a lot of $$$ in the process.

one learns from bitter experience, like FTH.

Originally Posted by fun.time.hobbyist

That being said, if it were to have any chance of working, both of you would have to make drastic changes in your lifestyles. Guys like to say they can handle it, but in reality it's not as easy as it sounds. The best route would be for the 2 of you to have a serious discussion and leave this world behind. It's not easy, but can happen. It's extremely rare for it to work out. Just my $0.02

I wouldn't necessarily want to find out, but I think that the one way I might make it work out (again, stress might), based on past experience, would be if the provider were married. Having had several relationships with married women where it was understood that I was the piece of ass on the side and she wasn't leaving her husband and family for me, I've adjusted my expectations enough to be satisfied with that (those relationships ended for other reasons than the lack of exclusivity in the relationship). By extension, if I know she's married and committed to staying so, it'd just be a matter of adjusting myself to the fact that she's balling other guys for $$. Since I've already adjusted to the fact that she's got a prior claim on her, I think that won't be too far a leap to handle.

But I'm not really interested in finding out if I could handle it.

Cheers,

bcg

[LAVixian]

I believe it may be possible... hasn't happened to me though ,the falling in love part, but i am as stubborn as a mule lol

[Tiffany Cums]

I have tried to stay out of this forum because my views are going to be right on for myself, but way off of how others providers think.

There are many differant degrees of love, and you only love how ever much you choose to. To loose control of how much love you give, IMO is immature and reminds me of High School.

Do I 'Love' some of my gentlemen? YES! Yes I do...and it is not a sin...and it's not trouble brewing. I can honestly say that there are several gentlemen that I have seen more then once that I am fond of, and I do love them. Am I going to try to take off with them? Hell no!

I have friends that I love, there are young children in my neighborhood that I love...of course there are varying degrees, but why is it that I can love the neighbor child, but yet it is wrong to love a man that I become intimate with on a regular basis?

Do I tell these men that I love them?? Mostly no, because of the simple fact it can easily be misunderstood!

We as a society do not truely understand how to love someone of the opposite sex without entanglements...but I do not understand why the entanglements are there to begin with. Expectations? Failure of understanding? Closed Mindedness?

[T-Can]

This hobby will distort your perceptioin of thinking at times. That's when you gotta slap the sh*t outta yourself, look in the mirror, and ask yourself "Who am I?" If my answer is CanDo01, then I'm screwed but if it's my RL name then I'm still good.

With that said, and after the sh*t slapping, I find myself at the conclusion that falling in love is possible anywhere - even here.

You can also meet good friends here but don't come in here with that expectation either.

[fun.time.hobbyist]

Originally Posted by CanDo01

You can also meet good friends here but don't come in here with that expectation either.

Very true. I'd say friendship is more feasible. However, even that can be tricky. I've met some providers that I'm actually good friends with outside the hobby.

[Mr. Heffner]

Originally Posted by am-a-pleaser

There are a couple of ladies I've met online only who I think I could have really strong feelings for. I also think they would develop real feelings for me. I've seen glimpses of their real life personalities and find myself attracted to them beyond a sexual level.

One lady in particular has really gained my attention.

Ladies, don't let this scare you.

Ladies, I think you should be VERY scared. Sounders "stalkerish" to me. Just sayin... Heff

[John Bull]

I've known 3 cases where it worked out of many, many who tried. In one case, husband and wife are well aware of what she does. In fact, for understandable reasons, she is the sole support now.
In the second case, they met at a private party, they married some months later and are still together some years later. She is semi-retired but gets the itch sometimes which he understands and accepts.
The third case, she gave up the biz altogether and they spent 30 yrs together.

[am-a-pleaser]

Originally Posted by Mr. Heffner

Ladies, I think you should be VERY scared. Sounders "stalkerish" to me. Just sayin... Heff

The ladies (and others) will go back and read exactly what I said (instead of the edited version), put it in the context of the subject matter, and come to their own conclusions. They are smart. They also check references and read other postings to get a sense of anyone they choose to see.

My apologies for for going off-topic, but a response seemed appropriate.

Now back to valid discussion of the topic.

[China Doll]

Mr. Heffner's opinion is just as valid as mine, so no disrespect is intended for him.

Am-a-pleaser, for what it's worth, I did not come to the same conclusion that Mr. Heffner did. I actually think you're quite wise to keep your feelings in check by refusing to disclose them or even see the ladies for whom you develop deep feelings.

[The Famous Lina Lovelle]

Thank you all for your input!!

xoxo Sending Love xoxo

*Miss Lina Lovelle*

[TexTushHog]

Originally Posted by The Famous Lina Lovelle

Is true love really possible in this business, or are we really just kidding ourselves?

I'm not sure true love is really possible in life.

[Guest091010-2]

Amen, to that China Doll! It's so sad to see a client who you think of as an all around good guy be heartbroken over your unwillingness to commit to anything beyond pay for play...at some point it starts feeling(for me anyway) as if they are trying to guilt trip or pay you into loving them and then there's resentment on BOTH sides and it ruins something as simple, honest and beautiful as a nicely functioning Client/Provider relationship.

Originally Posted by China Doll

One thing I would like to comment on is that fact that men who go into the Client/Escort world in search of love cause the ladies no insignificant amount of trouble. Please keep this in mind, gents.

[Gable]

Interesting question, which caught my eye, because I have fallen head over heels in love with a provider. For me, it's "normal" love (if there is such a thing), and I don't care what she does for a living or anything else. I just want to be with her and love her.

Alas, she doesn't feel the same about me. When I tell her I love her, she looks at me and says "I know" with a look on her face like I've just been diagnosed with cancer. It would perhaps have been better to have cancer than to have contracted love, lol. I can think of nothing worse than unrequited love. It's an awful, awful disease.

I dunno what I'm going to do. I guess suffer a broken heart and let her go, and move on. Sometimes life sucks.

[ANONONE]

A long time ago, in a galaxy far. . .

(sorry been watching Force of July Marathon over on Spike.)

Anyway, a few years back I had a provider that recognized the signs before I did that the bond was going past the provider/client boundaries for me and very subtly nudged me to see a trusted friend of hers that was also a provider.

I was doubtful, but she kept coaxing and encouraged with pillow talk and cues like: "--you should really see her--you guys would click--she loves oral--she want's to meet you BCD."

It was kind of sexy, but most importantly, she was being a true pro by understanding that if I either flaked out or burned out, in the end it would reduce the frequency and quality of my visits. If we had any type of "friendship" it would be seriously damaged by ill-placed emotions. Understanding the male ego, she made me think it was my idea in the first place and a little bit naughty as if I needed her permission to fuck her friend (hey I was young and mixed up).

It worked. I gained proper perspective, had a great time with both ladies for years after, and even saw them together once, back when I was young and had stamina. Sadly they both retired a long time ago, because just typing this put a little spring in my board.

[pyramider]

Better get the GSO3 ready.