Assistance needed: How to have a bad date in Austin

[ztonk]

OK, guys and gals... I need some assistance.

After too much time being the "BFE zen master", I apparently have lost the ability to host a bad time with a lady. I've tried twice now and have failed miserably both times.

So, other than taking her to a swingers or strip club (not an option... can't take a chance of being outed!) what ideas would you have for annoying a lady who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't like loud music, and doesn't like to be out late?

Put on your evil thinking caps...

[RALPHEY BOY]

send her my way, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't like loud music and I don't stay out late...

she sounds like my kind of gal!!

[Whispers]

Well... A couple of things come to mind.....

1) Light up a cigarette AT THE DINNER TABLE and eat with one hand and smoke in between bites.... That worked for a young lady I met recently that obviously didn't want me around!

2) Let me know where you will be the next time your out and I'll show up (purely by accident) with 2-3 ladies we share a common "interest" in and plop ourselves down uninvited at the table and tell a bunch of "remember when" stories as we get drunker and more obnoxious on your tab...... I'll make sure one of the girls "feeds" you ....

Then I'll politely apologize to your "date" and mention that they haven't seen you in a few days.....

You can explain me as that "drunk guy" from the office parties you've told her about.....

Whatcha think?

[Sexy Roxanne]

I know when I go out to dinner it drives my crazy to see a guy hold his fork like a dman shovel and to hear him smaking food! So maybe try eating like you were raised in a barn??

[RALPHEY BOY]

Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

I know when I go out to dinner it drives my crazy to see a guy hold his fork like a dman shovel and to hear him smaking food! So maybe try eating like you were raised in a barn??

My mother was a stickler for table manners,,

it makes me sick to see men and women eat with their mouths open..

example: I was eating lunch at Houston's about a year ago, I always eat at the bar( better service) sitting directly across from me as very hot Asian lady, late 20's early 30's eating with her mother I think..I was checking her out thinking wow what a hottie.. a few minutes later her food arrived and I saw her chomping with her mouth open!!!!

[Sexy Roxanne]

Ugh yes it drives me FREAKIN crazy!!!

[Sir Hardin Thicke]

Cut a fart in front of her - and I mean one hellava stinky fart - and see how she reacts. Best done in a crowded elevator, so make it a loud one.

[chris_davis]

Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

I know when I go out to dinner it drives my crazy to see a guy hold his fork like a dman shovel and to hear him smaking food! So maybe try eating like you were raised in a barn??

I'm sorry Sexy Roxanne.

And I still say soup is a finger food, if your fast enough.




Not sure z, take her someplace and ignore her?

[runswithscissors]

Z, I think you should do all of the above suggestions; go to a nice restaurant, smack your food, ogle all the females in the restaurant, fart loudly, text message everyone you know repeatedly, talk extremely loud on your cell phone, forget your wallet, excuse yourself to the bathroom, stay gone for an hour, come back to the table, scratch yourself, tell her you forgot your appointment at the free clinic for that "drip".

Love the soup idea, Chris, tff.

[Guest120311-2]

Let her get all dressed up and then take her for a quiet little lunch at Chuckie Cheese on a Saturday afternoon. She should be sufficiently annoyed quite quickly!
Tess

[Guest020916]

Watch out for ignoring her, Z. It may backfire.

Tess has a good idea.

[Sexy Roxanne]

Chris and Tess TFF!!!!

[chris_davis]

Thanks SR

Hey Tess, if they still have those mechanical dancing bears, wouldn't that be more like dinner and a show?

[Miss Sophie Bella]

Originally Posted by ztonk

OK, guys and gals... I need some assistance.

After too much time being the "BFE zen master", I apparently have lost the ability to host a bad time with a lady. I've tried twice now and have failed miserably both times.

So, other than taking her to a swingers or strip club (not an option... can't take a chance of being outed!) what ideas would you have for annoying a lady who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't like loud music, and doesn't like to be out late?

Put on your evil thinking caps...

You're a very, very bad man. I had another name for this earlier, but somehow it's slipping my mind now...funny, isn't it?

[PSD]

I've been single almost forever and that one thing that sends me packing the fastest is when someone talks incessantly about their ex....

I hate that...

...so give it a shot!