What Constitutes a "Bad" Blowjob?

[TexasT]

Things she says that indicate a bad bj ahead:

*Hang on, I just need to take my teeth out.
*I keep forgetting to mention in my ad that I'm a trannie."
*I can't believe I chipped three teeth last weekend."
*This will be my first bj as a provider.
*I just broke up with my boyfriend this morning. Bastard was cheating on
me!
*My next appt. just called, and he's early and out in the parking lot (or on the way up).

[txcwby6]

Originally Posted by TexasT

Things she says that indicate a bad bj ahead:

*Hang on, I just need to take my teeth out.
*I keep forgetting to mention in my ad that I'm a trannie."
*I can't believe I chipped three teeth last weekend."
*This will be my first bj as a provider.
*I just broke up with my boyfriend this morning. Bastard was cheating on
me!
*My next appt. just called, and he's early and out in the parking lot (or on the way up).

Holy crap! What is it with some women about to suck your dick that she has to relay her 'ex boyfriend" story right before she puts it in her mouth? I really don't want to hear your Jerry Springer "My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me" tale of bullshit. Do you think that makes me want you to suck me off? Unless you plan on continuing to mumble with your mouth full of dick and make like a sucking vibrator it's called a "job" for a reason.

[thasyndicate]

chit-chat breaks...

[Guest062512]

Originally Posted by motocrossman39

Just constant bobbing up and down, no passion, licking, teasing, etc.
It gets boring quickly....

I had a very popular, highly-recommended lady dive right into the bouncing thing. With that hotel bed bouncing along with her, I nearly got sea-sick before I got her to slow down.

Slow and passionate is best for me.

[Long Ron Silver]

-cell phone issues.
-not finishing what was started.
-stopping mid-orgasm (my orgasms often last 20 seconds or more. Don't stop till I push you away)
-reminding me that we only have 20 minutes left. (it's hard to cum when you're under pressure to cum)

As was mentioned in an earlier thread, communication is very important. I had a session with one lady who thought it was sexy to put a listerine strip in her mouth while giving head. It burned like hell.

__________________

If love is blind, then lingerie ids braille.

[pyramider]

I used to thinck there were no bad bjs ... until I went to a brothel in Pahrump, NV. Ouch on several levels.

[bojulay]

Have you ever read " The World According To Garp "
Story in the book about a car wreck occurring while
a girl was giving a blowjob to a guy, yeah. After
reading that I would never let a girl give me a
blowjob in a moving vehicle.

[Say What]

Blow jobs are like pizza...even when it's bad, it's not that bad.

[Fort Worth Punk]

Originally Posted by Say What

Blow jobs are like pizza...even when it's bad, it's not that bad.

Then you've never had a really bad blow job.

I have had blow jobs that were painful, and where my dick was sore for hours from the scrapes. And, contrary to other advice, most ladies, especially civilians, do not like being asked to change how they are doing it.

[ithyphallicus]

CBJ - Too much teeth - stopping every 5 seconds (for any reason) - all hands/no suck - too much eye contact

In any combination or alone. I understand why a lot of guys like eye contact but I prefer no hands and no eye contact or minimal. I think the other examples speak for themselves.

[LovingKayla]

Originally Posted by texascoffee

Two:

1. She started with gum in her mouth and lost it in my ball hair..

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lust4xxxLife]

Originally Posted by KRiggins

A BJ with a condom

+1. I knew I wouldn't have to scroll down too far.

[MaxiMilyen]

I realize some of you suffered through excruciating and unsatisfying orgasmic explosions while receiving a BJ. LOL So, to avoid such horror in the future, here are some key words, phrases that can be easily muttered, murmured, whispered, or even spoken aloud that might ensure the experience you actually do seek in the future:

Slower
Faster
Easy
Harder
Just like that!
Ouch!
Stop!
lick it like (a word indicating how ya like it licked)
suck it like(a word indicating how ya like it sucked)
tickle my balls
play with my ass
sing and tap dance while ya do that.....LOL

If a provider gets pissy about getting direction on your likes and dislikes whilst performing acts you enjoy, then yeah, IMO, I'd say she sucks at her job....pun intended...LOL However, if you keep your mouth shut and don't say anything, you're gonna get to experience what someone who is not afraid to communicate, has enjoyed in her past. ijs

WALDT...all ya gotta do is let a lady know. Most providers are pleasers and if she can do what ya want, she probably will, if she can't for whatever reason, she'll probably at least try or let ya know it ain't gonna happen exactly the way you prefer and often she will ask if ya wanna try something else that'll trip your trigger.

In summary and IMO, What constitutes a bad blow job would be the lack of communication on the gents part and the inability to follow direction and perform the way a gent enjoys on the providers part! Thank goodness there are so many ladies with varied skills in the hobby and it's fairly easy to find a lady who performs in ways each of you might enjoy.

May the next BJ each of you receive be the best one ever!! xoxo