Would You Still Hobby IF...

[tstuart101]

Anyone who says if my wife were such and such, then I wouldn't hobby, doesn't know what they're talking about. Literally. Because they aren't in that situation.

[sasnaK]

I blame Providers for me being Married as long as I have...LOL! Sex Is not bad at Home but went through a long period where my spouse had a couple of different Illness's that made sex very difficult for her..even painful..for almost 7 years I saw a Provider who worked at home, her husband was aware of it all, she was low volume and was willing to do it all....It allowed me to maintain my marriage and family..the health issues are not as bad but does limit how often..I have a fairly high sex drive so now I wander here and there.. only with providers. Plus I'm quite a bit older now and would like to get as much playtime before that day arrives that it's not practical....I enjoy the time with the providers when I do see them...as a whole there pleasant,very real, non judgemental..I consider it much safer than just trying to get lucky with some gal who will end up following me home or trying to call..Its a service that will always be needed and I for one I much appreciate..I would have been divorced a long time ago had I not gotten the attention I needed..I'm thankful I'm still married and the family is intact...and I'm thankful for the Ladies who made it possible.

[KCManlet]

I'm in a pretty good relationship right now, so I can't bring myself to partake in the hobby. I even cancelled a date with Bobby Upside when my current relationship was just in the "friends with benefits" stage.

[ss4699]

Originally Posted by iINDULGE

If I was married and had a horrible wife I wouldn't hobby, but I hold marriage in high regard. People always tell me it's different when you're married, but no matter what it is, I'm a one woman man once I'm married.

That being said, I've had a large number ....

i - if the woman lied and said she was pregnant or just thought she was and you did the "right thing" and she used that against you for...years and years. Would you still feel that way?

Originally Posted by Dondo7

For the most part, this hobby is about:

A. Older guys being able to get young gals and even better if they do what wife doesn't

B. Guys who can't get anything being able to get something.

C. Guys who just don't want to fuck with women on a day to day basis.

D. Sex Addiction

Impressive list Dondo, well organized and stated. But I would add the "trapped group" in. Now abortion is a little easier I guess for some people, but if she traps a man, well it starts bad and can only get worse. Divorce or hobby? And divorce can kill a man's income, home, retirement, etc. I counseled a guy one time to not make the mistakes I did in my divorce. I wish lawyers would automatically protect a man during a divorce but they don't seem to!

Originally Posted by Red Rock

Been in this hobby almost 4 decades. When I was initially married, I left the hobbby until my ex started using sex as a "weapon" ...you know with holding sex. It was easy to fall back into old habits. Besides, there is something to be said about the visual and variety.

so add those two in as well! And sas's illness comment!

Angela - good question.
Now we could do a poll to see if the 8 items apply to most hobbyist here. The use of a poll allows lurkers to have input without "saying" anything also. Could be interesting?

[KenMonk]

If I were married I most likely wouldn’t hobby. I can’t say for sure because I have never been married, nor am I with someone. I am a 30 year old single man who works 50 plus hours per week. Personally I don’t have the time or the inclination to go to a bar or club or anywhere else to meet new ladies. At the moment I enjoy being single and seeing select providers because I get what I want, they get what they want and I don’t have to worry about anything.

[ezgoindude]

I'd be a one woman man and not hobby if I could find a single woman that:

- Was bright and educated. One that could argue the opposing side in order to challenge their assumptions and opinions.
- Someone that was well read with broad interests that somewhat overlapped mine.
- Generally happy and well adjusted.
- Has her own career and source of income.
- Had a wild side inside and out of the bedroom, i.e. down with going to a strip club on occasion (without getting pissed off, jealous and getting us thrown out by the bouncers... Lol, long story).
- Someone I could take to a business function one weekend and a bike rally the next.
- A chic that will get along with my family at Christmas. Not get pissed off when my dad hits on her. Flirts back with him because he old and harmless, but not so much that she pisses mom off. Another long story.
- Makes dinner once in a while and can be a good mom to my kid.
- Just hot enough that people say WTF and that I out did my coverage.

Picky, yes, but I was married to someone I wasn't happy with for over a decade and not doing it again. It would end badly and I would lose half my stuff. Until then I'm going to bring the MBA types who are interested in my contacts to business functions. Date the bookish girls for the intellectual stimulation. Get down with strippers and biker chics when I want to party. Get with providers to fill the gaps when I can't get any from the above. Enjoy my alone time when I want to be left the F alone.

Update: Just reread the post that started this thread and would add that the desire for variety is something that for me has waned over the years. After being with all that variety I kinda settled on a certain type. That's not to say that I don't on occasion like a variation on that type it's just not that important. So let's just add to the above list a woman that was to a lesser degree bi and would enjoy sharing once in a while.

[Guest121212]

Originally Posted by tstuart101

Anyone who says if my wife were such and such, then I wouldn't hobby, doesn't know what they're talking about. Literally. Because they aren't in that situation.

You're right . . . Keep in mind that the use of logic here is typically met with scorn . . . ijs.

[nsafun05]

Originally Posted by tstuart101

Anyone who says if my wife were such and such, then I wouldn't hobby, doesn't know what they're talking about. Literally. Because they aren't in that situation.

I can absolutely say that because I've been in that situation. The first couple of years of marriage where great and we had a healthy sexual relationship. Hobbying never crossed my mind as I was quite satisfied at home. However her desire for sex declined to the point where it only happened 2-3 times a year. Five years of that combined with my above average sex drive brought me to the conclusion that seeing a provider was one of the few options I had left. It wasn't something I wanted to do, but I feel I was forced into into a decision I didn't want to make. I would much rather be in a healthy relationship than worry that I might get caught or arrested.

[merz5]

Interesting thread. I can only add that mostly I hobby because I like sex. It's pretty straight forward. I like sex with my wife and it's better than with a provider really, mostly because of the emotional connection. ie:love. But I like sex alot and my wife just isn't interested/able to keep up. Because I love her I do not want to force her to provide my release when she is just not interested. But I am not interested in having someone follow me home. So providers give an option to have it be a business transaction where we can both get what we want and shake hands when we're done. I really appreciate the quality providers I have met and enjoy the laughs, hugs (and BJ's) that we have shared. Thanks all!

[scootersden]

Pumper....you pretty much nailed it!

[whynot42nite]

Well spoken merz5... I understand your situation completely, and would have to agree that is why I hobby.