Question for all

[pyramider]

Be afraid . . .

[Frankie Fine]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

mmmmm I'm wondering how it feels to be hung before ya knew ya needed a lawyer

I hope I am reading this quote the way I think I am. After posting my true story, I have to admit I felt a little one sided by my own response.

My post was on the side of trust your "gut" feelings and I do believe that you should. My original reason was in support that you could be tapped into a sick sense whether it is temporary or a special talent. Either way why take the risk.

However, it is a feeling that you can not prove before you have real evidence that you made the right choice, so it may seem unfair to cancel on a client who does not deserve this judgement.

So, another way to consider looking at it would how NB mentioned a long the lines of "it is not a best first meeting when you feel worried, uncomfortable, or off"

Your performance could end up being like a warm beer on a hot day, a steak done to perfection with merlot on the rocks, a cuban cigar with watered down scotch.

What am I getting at?? I think I am trying to say it is a huge personal attack to a newbie that you canceled because they "creeped you out"(not that you said it that way exactly) but perhaps more fair to say at this time I am not sure what is up and it is wrong for me to go through with an appointment and accept hard earned money from a client if you are unable to relax and perform well.

My point, I am always losing my point. losing my point on myself lol

this thread made me see things in the shoes of the client who is clueless to why the appointment was cancelled last minute and at first I thought "YA of Course gut is gut"!! Who cares safety first! Then I thought, well if your gut is right great, but it could be wrong.

I was thinking the least we could do as provider's is take on some of the responsibility of our feelings and say whether I am right or wrong to feel strange out of the blue I could be:

a) saving myself from danger

or

b) saving a client from a poor experience

why it matters to me to appreciate both a) and b) is because that is a huge statement to make about someone you've never met if you are only absorbed with the a). I would be a little hurt if someone put me in that category without meeting me.

I admit I only thought of it one way first but in the future I will handle "gut feelings" more sensitive when I cancel.

and no matter what I do believe either way it is best to cancel when you are not 100% comfortable.

even at the last minute.

[offshoredrilling]

its right to trust gut. But its not always right. But beter safe then sorry. The guy may or may not be a ass. One mistake can lead to another. When things fall apart its can be best to let them. Forget it till another day, or just move on.

[threlayer]

With age often, not always, comes a sense of practicality and maybe instinct (if we don't mask it) or feel for risks that we hope will protect us. So there are certain signs that tell me this is a situation I should always avoid -- vultures (LE or potential robbers anywhere nearby that I could detect), suspect paraphenalia, intoxication, bad hygiene (of the person or the surroundings), the location being in the war zone, unusual nervousness or inability to smile or some subtle anger showing, as well as some sort of vibes not being right (i.e., miscellaneous other things or something I may have left out).

I know this is often impractical, and maybe it is my own limitation, but something like a "date" in public so the two can get to know each other better (and mutually develop that instinct) would seem to be a wise secondary requisite to "screening".

Remember that your Mamma told you to eat your veggies, and now we find that eating many veggies prevent health problems. And maybe your Mamma told you not to go to bed on the first date, so that makes sense too.

[joefk24]

Still new here, but I've lurked alot. Don't get into the central NY area much, but when I have, I've always had my eye on Jen...such a cutie. Someday I hope to see her. But anyway...
Jen, if you don't feel comfortable, you don't feel comfortable. You have to take care of yourself first and foremost. Your safety all around is nothing to take lightly.
If something about the guy seemed off, etc, nothing wrong with going with your gut. Cost benefit analysis...guys fine, you missed out a session, have one guy not happy with you...guy is NOT fine...I don't even want to speculate. Better off going with your gut here all the time.
Side note...hobbying late I hope isn't a red flag...me personally, I'm a night owl to begin with and sometimes I can't get away during the day, so sometimes later is better. Also, when I'm travelling and I like to hobby, I usually have a ton of stuff going on and the best hobbying time for me is later...like 11pm to maybe 1-2am. We all have different schedules...

[HlavinKitheri]

Jen I think you did the right thing, although now I'm going to take up issue with your logic. (In the spirit, I hope, of conversation.) I think even the counterexamples you offered partly reinforce DT's point: people credit their gut when their gut was right.

If I go against instinct and end up with trouble, I think "should have listened to my gut!" If I follow instinct and then somebody ELSE has a bad day, I think "good thing I listened to my gut!"

That said, what my big head really thinks is that what we call "instinct," "gut feeling," or "intuition" is actually our brain, working on one of its many available levels, processing some subtle but maybe important information we have not yet had time consciously to process. Maybe the model of car reminded you of something, an odd antenna on the car, or the driver's hat.

I always tell myself that just because I cannot put my finger on the exact cause of unease does not mean I may safely disregard it. Things that make me nervous make me nervous for a reason, even if I can't right now this moment remember what it is. That's good enough to get me to remove myself from any situation that feels sketchy.

[Deepthinker]

You are sage Hlavinkitheri. I was going to pursue it as none of her counterpoints really addressed the issues , but I did not as it was obvious that the "discussion" was with someone who had preconceived notions which would be defended vigorously no matter the preponderance of opposing evidence and logic.

Since you have opted to reopen the discussion, watch your back...

[JEN OF SYRACUSE]

Mods will you close this thread please before it starts to go bad thanks

[pyramider]

Too late . . . Let's hijack this puppy. Let's talk about spinning spinners.

[GP]

*** RED ALERT *** RED ALERT ***

HIJACK IN PROGRESS

*** RED ALERT *** RED ALERT ***

Everyone to battle stations....



Sorry, a thought a Star Trek episode was breaking out.

[JONBALLS]

well,........I think I read that just because the OP requests it closed, it doesnt necessarily mean the mods will.At some point the thread becomes "public property"...Supose if nobody talks about the OP's topic maybe she wont care.Maybe this could eventually rival "nothing reply anything you want" thread?

[Tiger]

Originally Posted by JONBALLS

well,........I think I read that just because the OP requests it closed, it doesnt necessarily mean the mods will.At some point the thread becomes "public property"...Supose if nobody talks about the OP's topic maybe she wont care.Maybe this could eventually rival "nothing reply anything you want" thread?

Only748 to catch up to "nothing reply anything you want".


Maybe Jen has to say pretty please to get this closed.

[DDarkness]

Thread Closed at OP's Request. Good Night Jen