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Shayla · 10-20-2011, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mwebber

Wouldn't the guy then be the judgmental type? You could never be 100% honest about your past/current profession.

Is that the necessary evil for a provider to hide their occupation for the sake of a relationship?

Well my ex boyfriend was a criminal that used to sell drugs... When I met him he was clean and square. He told me about his past, I met his family to validate that he wasn't like that anymore and I over looked it because of how he was PRESENTLY. If you can't get over someone's past then a future isn't worth looking into. That's just my opinion.

Outdoorsman · 10-20-2011, 03:12 PM

Shayla you are a very smart woman!!! I agree, I am not okay with my SO fucking other people - simple. But I can let go of the past and move forward if she were able to let go of my past as well.

IDK, I have heard of guys that were hetrosexual but as a "job" sold their bodies, who do you think they are hooking out to? Women? C'mon, while it does happen there are male escorts that sell to women but when the light bill is due and the women are not calling and well our equipment as men just does not work as frequently as women's, the guy is selling to other guys. So, can a woman look her loved in the face and kiss him goodnight, knowing he just got a facial from some dude and he can say "It is just a job!"

I cannot do it... I am too conservative in that respect. i do not judge others, to each his or her own, but ME, I cannot allow my SO to have sex with others, that is something sacred and special for OUR relationship, to me.

Shayla if a provider were to expect me to be okay with her job as we dated, i would have to move on. That is not the type of woman I want. Could I have a serious romanitc relationship with a woman that is a provider - yes, but once we become committed the job ends or no committment, simple.

elgato111 · 10-20-2011, 03:35 PM

This subject seems to be coming up a lot on here lately. Makes one wonder if more providers/hobbyists are thinking about personal relationships with each other.

I have been hobbying for many many years and have had the pleasure of meeting some very interesting women. Most have been "one night stands" due to the nature of the hobby and complications involved with anything more which has kept me from even thinking about getting more involved personally. But something I learned a long time ago is this, people are human and as such have feelings and emotions that can become very real leading to something deeper and more personal no matter what the circumstances are surrounding the way they met.

This leads me to the question, could I be with an SO who is providing? If the relationship is built on genuine trust, a real bond, honesty and openness, yes I believe I would be able to be in such a relationship. Would it be complicated? Of course. But the truth of the matter is that any personal relationship between man and woman has its complications, some more than others, some less than others. It all comes down to how deep the feelings, how much they want to be together and how hard they are willing to work at it on a daily basis to insure that it is what they want it to be in the long run.

In life there are no guarantees just possibilities and opportunities. Even though the odds of such a relationship working are very high against it only the two people involved can determine what will happen, if it will happen and how it will happen. There are several on here that have real relationships and they work for them cause they have found the right person they want/need in their lives.

Lots of people on here will disagree with me. But all I'm saying is that things do happen when you least expect it, just depends on what you want to do about it if anything. Totally your choice.

London Rayne · 10-20-2011, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mwebber

Wouldn't the guy then be the judgmental type? You could never be 100% honest about your past/current profession.

Is that the necessary evil for a provider to hide their occupation for the sake of a relationship?

Being able to forgive or overlook what someone "used to do" is not the same thing, as "not giving a crap about your woman sucking strange d*ck" while you're together. Some people don't want to share the one person they love...others both agree it's cool.

I don't understand this and never will, but I do know many happy couples who are in these types of relationships. How or why they do it, is really none of my business. I have had it explained to me a million times, and still don't get it. That's not their problem to make me understand anymore...just like it's not for people who don't believe in cheating to make you understand lol.

For those of us who choose to be with only one person, it's a character flaw if that person does not give a crap about us banging strangers just for the fun of it. We choose to avoid those people for serious relationships, just as swingers avoid us lol. I can travel, go sky diving, or go to the beach if I want to have fun...I don't need meaningless sex to enhance my civie relationships.

Shayla · 10-20-2011, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by London Rayne

Being able to forgive or overlook what someone "used to do" is not the same thing, as "not giving a crap about your woman sucking strange d*ck" while you're together. Some people don't want to share the one person they love...others both agree it's cool.

I don't understand this and never will, but I do know many happy couples who are in these types of relationships. How or why they do it, is really none of my business. I have had it explained to me a million times, and still don't get it. That's not their problem to make me understand anymore...just like it's not for people who don't believe in cheating to make you understand lol.

For those of us who choose to be with only one person, it's a character flaw if that person does not give a crap about us banging strangers just for the fun of it. We choose to avoid those people for serious relationships, just as swingers avoid us lol. I can travel, go sky diving, or go to the beach if I want to have fun...I don't need meaningless sex to enhance my civie relationships.

Yep.

I will never understand either.

MOCHAakaMOCHA · 10-20-2011, 04:16 PM

I have only casually dated because I don't want to date seriously while being a provider.... sure it works for some and there are many married providers but being in a serious relationship while providing couldn't and would work for me. I wouldn't be comfortable with it.... a regular relationship and be headache enough I don't want to add what I do to it even if he's okay with it....if I'm serious with someone i'd like to be with them as much as possible & that's not gonna feel too good to me if I'm touring away for like a week or 2 or w/e. It's too much to even think about. I like male companionship outside of clients and in a normal relationship I prefer dating seriously and I kind of miss that so that's another reason I don't plan to provide for a long time.

wreckshop · 10-20-2011, 05:16 PM

If you're providing it's paramount for you to let your SO know that you are providing. To try and "hide" what you do while being in a relationship is a terrible choice.

What about dealing in a very fickle relationship? A Gray area type? I can see a provider swearing off the hobby when she's "together" with her man but don't let there be a fight or a short split. She's likely to have done 3-6 different clients before the two of you make up.

I one time was doing a provider who got back into an "on-and-off-again" relationship and she had no problem doing me. She told me she was doing her man w/o a condom but the only thing that bugged me was her delaying our session by texting her man before we'd start.

I remember in my earlier days I found a nice agency chick and called to see her a couple weeks later and the manager said she hasn't seen the woman since I saw her. She went back to her husband. I was shocked she was married.

London Rayne · 10-20-2011, 05:34 PM

I don't think it would be that easy to do for me. If we broke up I would likely be hurt..IF I loved him to begin with. The absolute last thing on my mind would be having sex with someone else...especially for money.

wreckshop · 10-20-2011, 05:53 PM

So would you get into a relationship without loving the man?

What if the two of u were just exclusively dating?

You guys get into a fight or a short separation. He's thinking about you and hoping to get back with you but since you never loved him and bills need to be paid, hey, you may want to do what you always do.

But, the guy will be crushed if he knew that in the interm other men were banging you out. The only thing you can tell him was "I wasn't in love with you yet". LOL. Men have to get over so much shit in order to have a sex goddess as a wife.

London Rayne · 10-20-2011, 07:04 PM

No, if I did not love him and we were just fkin I would have no problem being a provider...then again, I don't fk men for free. If I loved him, I would quit..end of story, but I would never date someone whilst providing.

I have not gotten into a relationship for over 3 years...do the math. I started providing in 2008. I see no need to even start something outside of here, I can't complete. I would break down and cry if I knew I had some guy at home whilst doing this. That's just me though.

Maybe a guy's first thought is strange sex when he breaks up with a GF, but most women I know either pig out or starve lol.

Naomi4u · 10-20-2011, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

Shayla if a provider were to expect me to be okay with her job as we dated, i would have to move on. That is not the type of woman I want. Could I have a serious romanitc relationship with a woman that is a provider - yes, but once we become committed the job ends or no committment, simple.

1000% agreed. This is exactly what I meant.
I couldn't be committed to a hobbyist while doing this.

wreckshop · 10-20-2011, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

Shayla you are a very smart woman!!! I agree, I am not okay with my SO fucking other people - simple. But I can let go of the past and move forward if she were able to let go of my past as well.

IDK, I have heard of guys that were hetrosexual but as a "job" sold their bodies, who do you think they are hooking out to? Women? C'mon, while it does happen there are male escorts that sell to women but when the light bill is due and the women are not calling and well our equipment as men just does not work as frequently as women's, the guy is selling to other guys. So, can a woman look her loved in the face and kiss him goodnight, knowing he just got a facial from some dude and he can say "It is just a job!"

I cannot do it... I am too conservative in that respect. i do not judge others, to each his or her own, but ME, I cannot allow my SO to have sex with others, that is something sacred and special for OUR relationship, to me.

Shayla if a provider were to expect me to be okay with her job as we dated, i would have to move on. That is not the type of woman I want. Could I have a serious romanitc relationship with a woman that is a provider - yes, but once we become committed the job ends or no committment, simple.

would you get into a relationship with Nikki Tylor?

lisa.lisa0302 · 10-20-2011, 07:43 PM

My hat is off to the ladies who can do this. I know a few who has a SO, and I do not want them to think I am judging them. To each their own and if they are happy, thats great.

For me, it would not work.

safire_sweet · 10-20-2011, 08:35 PM

yes it has and will continue, it does not mean you have to be dating a guy who was once a client.Being a married provider does not mean you support your husband that would be a different word not husband..Having a wife as a provider does not mean you do not work are do not have sex because she is tired from doing it ""all day"" with clients.

it doesnt mean "the relationship is open"

work at work and do not bring it home with you
Safire

Guest020312-2 · 10-20-2011, 10:38 PM

I think it's funny though. It matters so much whether a provider is in a relationship or not but most of my clients are married lol I don't give 2 shits about that honestly. I think love is love. Sure, a SO doesn't want to hear about his lady being super busy or sore or about the huge mouthful she got but I think relationships are a bit more open minded these days.