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Raquel Ryder · 07-26-2011, 09:57 AM

I'm not talking about friends with benefits. I'm talking about having a boyfriend but with freedom. Meaning y'all are in relationship not friends. Anywho I just think its hard to be with one person. And a little spice in your life would be nice. Lol

Eccie Addict · 07-26-2011, 10:01 AM

Personally I think you are asking for drama because you won't just be concerned with him possibly getting jealous but the others too...

I think that a relationship has to have a strong foundation and trust has to be built over time to show each other that you are loyal to each other. If it starts out as an open relationship then I don't think it allows that trust or foundation to be built.

Just my opinion...

Breaku321 · 07-26-2011, 10:01 AM

That's one of them questions of great debate. Have a buddy who is trying to make that work with this girl who is out right freak. I mean freak as in making out with guys (one was his best friend, she was dry humping the friend right in front of him) and gals in front of him. To him,it looks good on paper. In reality he is having a difficult time dealing with the jealous emotion. He claims he's not but the excessive drinking, other recreational uses,and punching holes in his walls when she's around tells a different story. Me personally would not give the girl the title of girlfriend. That would be someone I'm banging. Then again I don't think he sees that if he tries to cash in his "open relationship" chip she is not gonna be as cool. I've already seen her CB him. So I'm gonna lean towards it doesn't work but who knows only you know if you and your SO can make it work. I just think that mixing close friends would be a no no as I'm witnessing 1st hand.

whitechocolate · 07-26-2011, 11:13 AM

As I noted above and EA notes, Trust is the key. For some people who are not open and honest and bad at communication, it can never work and for others who are good communicators and make sure their SO feels special, it can work. It really depends on the people involved. For most people, it is difficult but it definitely can work.

Nick11796 · 07-26-2011, 12:54 PM

My wife is a retired escort. Her experience with business clients was that many men were going to try other women for a variety of reasons ranging from ego to getting what their wives will not provide. She believes that lots of women have similar needs. Thus she thought that a somewhat open arrangement is more realistic than doing things behind each other's back.

dearhunter · 07-26-2011, 01:01 PM

My SO and I have an open relationship......I do what I want, and if she doesn't like it she is open to getting a fucking job.

Guest052912 · 07-26-2011, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

Personally I think you are asking for drama because you won't just be concerned with him possibly getting jealous but the others too...

I think that a relationship has to have a strong foundation and trust has to be built over time to show each other that you are loyal to each other. If it starts out as an open relationship then I don't think it allows that trust or foundation to be built.

Just my opinion...

I agree with this!!!!!

Guest052912 · 07-26-2011, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dearhunter

My SO and I have an open relationship......I do what I want, and if she doesn't like it she is open to getting a fucking job.

Oh my, I like this too!!!!

dearhunter · 07-26-2011, 05:07 PM

Well, I like your breastesesesses....so, go figure.

anita · 07-26-2011, 07:07 PM

Definitely doesn't work. At first it seems awsome but quickly gets bad, especially when one of you start falling in love.

whitechocolate · 07-26-2011, 08:57 PM

In an open relationship, both partners should anticipate that they and the other partner will become infatuated with another partners. That doesnt necessarily cause problems if partners trust each other. Many people in open situations find that having a partner turned on to another person is turn on rather than a source of jealousy. Again, this type of situation will probably not work for most. Requires two individuals secure in their primary relationship.

txswing99 · 07-26-2011, 09:57 PM

Raquel...

I've had both "Swinger" and "Open" relationships.

Typically, the "open" relationships break down to two types; 1) where you talk about everything (i.e. if you don't hide it, its forgiven), and 2) where you don't mention anything (i.e. no details, no problem. Do not embarrass me!). I tend to prefer the 2nd type, since it's occasionally possible that the 1st type is a bit of a controlling and honesty-checking mechanism -- not exactly consistent with an "open" relationship. That said, with the right person the 2nd type could be rather rewarding -- as one GF used to say, "i want to hear when you had a great time! If the BJ was good and she swallowed, I'm happy for you!"

Perhaps the most important rules in an all "open" relationship are 1) you're "other" date never comes before our time, and 2) never violate the "no-touch" list.

The first rule is usually the first argument an "open" couple has until they properly establish the rule, so i recommend talking about it early. No one wants there SO to schedule a date with someone else when you want alone time together.

The second rule is a recognition that everyone has people that they are sensitive about knowing about the "open" relationship, or that they don't want their SO to have sex with. So establish the "no-touch" list up front. Some people on the list are easy to understand (i.e. family, friends, people at work, etc.) and others are simply sentimental or emotional (i.e. ex's, anyone in active service, etc.) It's best not to judge who is on each other's "no-touch" list. As long as it's an honest list, you should be able to accommodate it or do not have an "open" relationship.

I can expand on more, but most of it you can figure it out.

Good luck!

-T

Energy · 07-26-2011, 11:01 PM

Doomed to fail from the start. The only variable is how quickly the wheels come off. You can discuss it all you want and think that you've come to a mutual agreement, but it is a fatally flawed concept....an "open" relationship is by definition not a relationship, it's friends with benefits. Nothing special about that.

Energy · 07-26-2011, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raquel Ryder

I'm not talking about friends with benefits. I'm talking about having a boyfriend but with freedom. Meaning y'all are in relationship not friends. Anywho I just think its hard to be with one person. And a little spice in your life would be nice. Lol

If you're finding it hard to be with one person, then you haven't found the right person. Keep looking.

Shake_N_Bake · 07-27-2011, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raquel Ryder

I'm not talking about friends with benefits. I'm talking about having a boyfriend but with freedom. Meaning y'all are in relationship not friends. Anywho I just think its hard to be with one person. And a little spice in your life would be nice. Lol

Is it just me or did anyone else sprout a stiffie when looking at Raquel Ryder's avatar?