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Old 07-02-2011, 02:44 AM   #1
Putanna Di Classe
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Lightbulb It's time for another hygiene thread ;-)

Ok everybody, just a PSA that TP in your butt crack is NOT sexy.

I've had 4 gentlemen callers this week with TP in their butt cracks...so I figured maybe it was time to remind y'all again!

PLEASE guys, it is hard to keep a straight face, much less act sexy and do sexy things to you when I can see TP hanging off of your starfish. Yes, I did act like it wasn't there and everybody was happy, well everybody except for me...because to be honest that totally blows the mood for me! After I see something gross I pretty much turn into an actress. So I would like to thank the academy, and where's my damn award

If you have to drop a deuce after your morning shower (before your session), just tell your provider that you need to use her shower. Just skip the chit-chat and head right to the shower if you think it's going to throw off either one of y'all's schedules.

Sorry, not a very sexy topic, but totally entertaining, thought provoking and informational!

Hobby-Love-Ya's!
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Old 07-02-2011, 04:46 AM   #2
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Guys need to be told to wash their ass? Man, I'm sure glads I not a provider! You gals earn every penny you make and then some!
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Old 07-02-2011, 10:10 AM   #3
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My ass is guaranteed dingleberry free or your money back
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Old 07-02-2011, 11:13 AM   #4
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I guess common sense is not all that common.
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Old 07-02-2011, 11:45 AM   #5
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Before leaving house:
1. Directions-check
2. Money in pocket-check
3. Brush teeth-check
4. Shave-check
5.Shower-check
6. Check asshole for paper-damn!
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Old 07-02-2011, 03:15 PM   #6
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THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!! What kind of pople walk around with TP in their ass?
I mean Jesus get a fucking clue! do you have no self regard? Makes me laugh..
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Old 07-02-2011, 04:04 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slowmover View Post
Before leaving house:
1. Directions-check
2. Money in pocket-check
3. Brush teeth-check
4. Shave-check
5.Shower-check
6. Check asshole for paper-damn!
To elaborate on 2 and 5,6
if you shower and scrub every inch of ur body and dry off properly you be fresh to whatever appointment provided you have ac. If no ac, excuse yourself for a quick rinse off
If no shower bring some baby wipes to do a once over in the groin and ass region. One more thing brush your teeth and to preserve the cleanbreath chew mint gum. I am partial to eclipse artic or you can use mint altoids or have a bottle of mouthwash to swish and spit as soon as you arrive.
marla I would think your kidding but that is so not the case
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Old 07-02-2011, 05:10 PM   #8
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Marla,

Dingleberries or TP... I think you are allowed to stop whatever is going on, go into the restroom, get a washcloth wet and soapy, then wash his crack. Then show him the washcloth! Tell him this is why he needs to clean before every appointment, no matter what.
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Old 07-02-2011, 05:25 PM   #9
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You sure it wasn't a very very tiny "NO ENTRY" sign?
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Old 07-02-2011, 05:44 PM   #10
Putanna Di Classe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slowmover View Post
You sure it wasn't a very very tiny "NO ENTRY" sign?
Nope, it was TP, ewwwwwwwwwww!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 69er View Post
Marla,

Dingleberries or TP... I think you are allowed to stop whatever is going on, go into the restroom, get a washcloth wet and soapy, then wash his crack. Then show him the washcloth! Tell him this is why he needs to clean before every appointment, no matter what.
That totally disrupts the flow of the session, or I would be all over it!


P.S. I have a stack of about 50 washcloths. Plus a pack of babywipes. PLUS a shower with plenty of clean towels. Honestly I think it is just something guys tend to overlook.
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Old 07-02-2011, 06:09 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkmonk View Post
My ass is guaranteed dingleberry free or your money back

But no coffee mug is safe around you.
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Old 07-02-2011, 06:14 PM   #12
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For the record, this kid showers within an hour of a session and if I sweat or even take a leak at all, I'll take another shower upon arrival. Some of us are big on hygiene Marla. There are no excuses when a lot of providers even provide men's shower gel.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 69er View Post
Marla,

Dingleberries or TP... I think you are allowed to stop whatever is going on, go into the restroom, get a washcloth wet and soapy, then wash his crack. Then show him the washcloth! Tell him this is why he needs to clean before every appointment, no matter what.
The thing is, if their cracks are less than fresh, than I'm sure the rest of them are too, especially Junior! If I was a woman and a provider, his azz would be out with his donation.
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Old 07-02-2011, 10:36 PM   #13
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Default oooh la la

Quote:
Originally Posted by nosweat View Post
THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!! What kind of pople walk around with TP in their ass?
I mean Jesus get a fucking clue! do you have no self regard? Makes me laugh..
What do you think? When you wipe some of the tissue latches on to your starfish. I had some TP in my lips and a man who was dining there took it out. My ass? I make it a point to never poo before ANY appointments. But the peeing isn't good to hold in (especially during sex). So I always pee before the appointments.

With that said, this thread is so freaking funny. ROTFLMAS to the MAX!!
BTW, when were you looking at someone star fish? During 69 when the mans hairy ass is in your face? (I always close my eyes I don't wanna see their star fishes LOL)
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Old 07-02-2011, 10:39 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TrailBlazer View Post
For the record, this kid showers within an hour of a session and if I sweat or even take a leak at all, I'll take another shower upon arrival. Some of us are big on hygiene Marla. There are no excuses when a lot of providers even provide men's shower gel.




The thing is, if their cracks are less than fresh, than I'm sure the rest of them are too, especially Junior! If I was a woman and a provider, his azz would be out with his donation.

Give me a break! You can't just throw clients out and take his donation for the minor crime of a lil paper between the crack. Have a heart. Thats mean.
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Old 07-02-2011, 10:43 PM   #15
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have we ran out of things to talk about again.....
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