This story happened a long, long time ago in a place far, far away (well not that far, actually...). It happened so long ago that JustAGuyinMs was still JustAKidInMs (Jak for short) and the Dallas Experience still involved dress-up and tea parties. I mean Papa Joe was still just Joe! So, ya know we're talking about a while ago here...
Well, the story begins with Jak getting that certain itch (you know the one), but being "Just a Kid," he didn't know what to do about it. So, he approached an older, wiser man about town, Senor Giz (he was an old hand even way back then) to get some advice. Giz simply replied, "Well son, you gotta go git ya some!" Well, that wasn't very helpful to the still green behind the ears Jak, so he decided to ask one of his friends, "Smallish to Medium C" over in Dallas just what in the hell "Go git ya some" meant. Now C was a bit more experienced than Jak at this point, so he told him, "Well that's easy Jak, just take your ass to a brothel and tell 'em you need to "git yourself some" and they'll handle it from there."
"Well okay, now we're getting somewhere," thought Jak. He had heard of a brothel, but it was waaaaay over in Mobile. Jak, however, being the type of kid that listens to his elders, packed up the Pinto then and there and headed over to Mobile. Now this brothel was run by a young, sweet, not bat-shit crazy at all lady named Casey (it's a fairy tale, ain't it?) and she knew just what to do when young Jak explained his problem. "Honey, you just go into that room over there and ask MJ, the gal inside, to give you some, 69. Okay, sweetheart?" "Dammit all, that sure made things crystal fucking clear, didn't it??" Jak thought to himself. But, again, being a dutiful lad, he headed into the indicated room, even though he didn't have a clue what he was getting into.
Inside the room was a beautiful young naked lady who smiled sweetly, smelled wonderful and clearly didn't have a mean or vindictive bone in her entire body! (remember people, fairy fucking tale...). Jak stammered, "Errrr... Can I git me some 69?" MJ smiled that sweet smile and said, "Sure thing honey. Just shuck off those overalls and get over here on the bed with me." "Well now we're fucking getting somewhere," Jak thought, and he just leapt out of those overalls to join sweet MJ on that there bed. Next thing he knows, Jak's flipped around and he is getting sucked off like there's no tomorrow and this lady has placed her pussy right dead on his face! Jak is having himself a grand old time, but MJ -- not so much.
See, MJ had just returned from a lunch of tacos, broccoli, cauliflower and 7 bean chili. And all this moving her hips, well it's causing some burning and churning if you know what I mean. Within just a few minutes, she just can't help herself and lets a little fart go right in poor Jak's face. Well now Jak hears and smells that fart, but he's thinking, "Hell, I'm getting my dick sucked ain't I? And I got this big old sloppy pussy on my face. WTF, a little old fart ain't nothing compared to that! I'm still in." So Jak keeps eating that pussy and enjoying that BJ, but MJ's thinking to herself, "Good Lord, that fart didn't faze that country boy at all!" And being as how that chilli's still fighting her like a coyote, she just lets another one go with poor Jak right in the middle of it. But Jak, he's a trooper, "That's a shit storm right there, but dammit, I'm getting my dick sucked here!" And so he continues, a little less enthusiastic than 5 minutes before, but still enjoying the hell out of it.
Now MJ almost ran herself out the room with that last one, and she's feeling a little better for a while, but pretty soon, that rumbling comes back, and she thinks, "Well hell, if the first two didn't bother him, I'm just gonna let this one go too." So she raises up and just lets it rip, and brothers and sisters, that was some fart. It was loud and long (even a little wet) and smelled kind of like if a paper mill was running full bore right next to that old Gulfport fishery. I mean it was bad, and right in the middle of it, JustAKid just throws MJ off of him and starts getting dressed. MJ says, "But, honey you ain't finished with your 69!" And Jak fires back, "Lady, 69 is fun and all, but if the next 66 are like that last one, you're gonna fucking kill me..."
The End
P.S. Stop reading this shit and "Go git ya some!"