The sun came out today

[Yssup Rider]

Everybody can feel it. The green, new grass under your feet. The wide eyed children and their wide eyed grandparends filing into seats they've dreamt of all winter long. The hotdogs, the shitty nachos with government cheese, the peanuts.

It's opening day folks.

God's in his heavens.

Baseball's on earth.

We're living in the Texas Hill Country.

Lifre will NEVER get any better than this!

Drink it in brothers and sisters.

And PUT ME IN COACH!
(O sing it brother Fogerty!)

Well, beat the drum and hold the phone - the sun came out today!
We’re born again, there’s new grass on the field.
A-roundin’ third, and heded for home, it’s a brown-eyed handsome man;
Anyone can understand the way I feel.

Chorus:
Oh, put me in, coach - I’m ready to play today;
Put me in, coach - I’m ready to play today;
Look at me, I can be centerfield.

Well, I spent some time in the mudville nine, watchin’ it from the bench;
You know I took some lumps when the mighty casey struck out.
So say hey willie, tell ty cobb and joe dimaggio;
Don’t say "it ain’t so", you know the time is now.

Chorus

Yeah! I got it, I got it!

Got a beat-up glove, a homemade bat, and brand-new pair of shoes;
You know I think it’s time to give this game a ride.
Just to hit the ball and touch ’em all - a moment in the sun;
(pop) it’s gone and you can tell that one goodbye!

Chorus
Chorus
Yeah!

Scuse me while tears of joy dribble down my old man's jowls!

PLAY BALL!`

[BigGerman]

My beloved Astros are undefeated today. Sadly, that will likely change around 3:00 pm after the Phillies hang a double digit win on them. I'm praying Drayton can find a buyer so he can get the hell away from the team. He's almost as bad as Lynn Wells in Major League.

[Yssup Rider]

Yeah, but not nearly as hot! I think ol Drayton burned out when his teams couldn't get over the hump in the Biggio-Bagwell days. Houston fans have learned how to BOO.

Today's the day for eternal optimism BigGerman -- Our Astros are going to sweep the Phucking Philthies! Brett Wallace is going yard twice in the first inning off of Halladay AND getting drug tested in the second.

[BigGerman]

Brett Myers got the first hit. That's not a good sign.

[Yssup Rider]

But they chased Roy Halladay! ONLY TO BLOW IT IN THE NINTH! Six consecutive singles in the bottom of the ninth. Stros should have won that game 4-0.

But NOOOO!

Now I remember why I FUCKING HATE BASEBALL!!!!!

Oh well... they certainly exposed some of the Philthies' weaknesses today. As well as one of their own. Brandon Lyon was never supposed to be a closer. He never wanted to be a closer. He wanted to be

a LUMBERJACK!