Divorce experience? Looking for real world stories

[Frank Rizzo]

Hello, Gents. I have been a lurker on this board for many years dating back to the ASPD days. Looking for advice (here or PM) from anyone who can tell me what the other side MIGHT look like. I have two high school/college age kids and I have a great career. I feel I am in the best shape of my life and would love to feel happy once again since I think I have a long way to go still. I don't know anyone who has gone down this patch, and I am wondering was it worth it for you? I know this thread isn't for everyone...looking for that needle in a haystack, I guess.. Thanks for your consideration.

[ERWhyNot]

I was pretty much in the same position as you. My youngest just graduated high school. There was no love in my marriage. I asked for a divorce, did the counseling thing, then got divorced. Be aware; if your wife hasn’t worked and made much money, her lawyer will try and get spousal support. Most judges won’t make you pay it.
Anyway, my kids and remainder of family are now cool; they all wondered why I waited so long. I’ve had the best time of my life since then. If you’re in good shape, half decent looking, have a good job, your own place, a little bit of game, you will have all the fun you can stand from woman of all ages and races. I got more sex than at any point of my life. I had so many I could turn it down. Women that I thought wouldn’t even look at me wanted to hang out. I had women try and pick me up in bars. The key is acting like you’re not heavily interested in them.
The key is kindness, adventurous, don’t be needy, and have confidence; not arrogance.
You will have women of all ages that basically want someone to take care of them so watch out for that.
Read anything you can by Allen Roger Currie. His books work!
You will be happier than ever. Some lonely nights but you will rarely come home empty handed unless you just want the time alone.
Best of luck and feel free to PM me for any other details.

[Charley3]

I’m sure there are million guys on this site in the same boat. The loss of money and the affect on your family vs freedom to do whatever you want. I’ve decided to stay and get what I want on the side. Being a golfer makes escapes easier but I certainly wouldn’t argue with anyone that takes the divorce route.

[nottoday]

I am no position to give advise but I like Charley3's perspective. I guess I would focus more on what makes me happy with my wife (there must have been something otherwise you never would have married her in the first place) and try to be more accepting of that and also, take up golf to help you thru the headache periods of life with her! I was never one to believe the grass is greener somewhere else.

[Fizley]

Do a test run. Find the local single hangout and mingle. See how it goes, if you get phone numbers and go on some dates...then might be worth the alimony payment for the next 3 to 5 years.

If that goes well consult an attorney on what you will owe in alimony or child support.

For me it wasn't worth it until my daughter turns 18. Instead I will trade college for child support.

[bigwill832]

Before taking any steps, check out all your options that relate to divorce. The pros and cons. Divorce is not a simple and pretty thing most of the time. Dig in and find out everything that you might need to prepare for. Will all the bad stuff happen? Maybe, maybe not. But you can't go into it thinking you'll be all good only to find out she wants to fight you and take half of everything and drag you through the mud. Discovery can be a real bitch.

[secondHandNews]

Originally Posted by bigwill832

Before taking any steps, check out all your options that relate to divorce... Discovery can be a real bitch.

How much does participating in the hobby impact the discovery process? For example, if I'm taking out $$$ a week to use for intimacy, will lawyers require an accounting for that? "Hey, you've been withdrawing this cash amount weekly. What're you using it for? Where's it going?" Should a guy drop out of the hobby for, say, a year to avoid these questions? Or is discovery more about income rather than expenses?

[Fizley]

Originally Posted by secondHandNews

How much does participating in the hobby impact the discovery process? For example, if I'm taking out $$$ a week to use for intimacy, will lawyers require an accounting for that? "Hey, you've been withdrawing this cash amount weekly. What're you using it for? Where's it going?" Should a guy drop out of the hobby for, say, a year to avoid these questions? Or is discovery more about income rather than expenses?

Absolutely, all your pay stubs, bank statements, and tax returns will all be collected. If your case goes to trial expect to explain where the $1000 cash allowance you gave yourself went.

[bigwill832]

Originally Posted by secondHandNews

How much does participating in the hobby impact the discovery process? For example, if I'm taking out $$$ a week to use for intimacy, will lawyers require an accounting for that? "Hey, you've been withdrawing this cash amount weekly. What're you using it for? Where's it going?" Should a guy drop out of the hobby for, say, a year to avoid these questions? Or is discovery more about income rather than expenses?

Discovery is exactly that. If she gets a pitbull of a lawyer they will dig and demand accountability for every little aspect of your life. So in regards to your finances...yes. How much are you paid? What bank accounts do you have? What investment accounts do you have? What credit cards do you have? Where are the monthly statements for all of these? What's this charge? What's that charge? What's this withdrawal? What did you do with the money? What did you buy? Where are the receipts? Where is the thing you bought?

Think about it this way: You know how women turn into the FBI, CIA, and SS all at once when they get their feelings hurt or want to find out about someone? Yeah...take that person and give them a license to practice law. Then, don't forget, they can request info on your phone and tracking it. They can request ANYTHING they want.

The whole goal in a divorce, so that the lawyer can get the best for their client (in the woman's case) is to make you look like the biggest piece of shit monster on the planet.

[Koalemos]

I feel this so much right now. I don't know what to do but I don't know that I can afford to not change something (both financially and mentally).

[1blackman1]

Originally Posted by Frank Rizzo

Hello, Gents. I have been a lurker on this board for many years dating back to the ASPD days. Looking for advice (here or PM) from anyone who can tell me what the other side MIGHT look like. I have two high school/college age kids and I have a great career. I feel I am in the best shape of my life and would love to feel happy once again since I think I have a long way to go still. I don't know anyone who has gone down this patch, and I am wondering was it worth it for you? I know this thread isn't for everyone...looking for that needle in a haystack, I guess.. Thanks for your consideration.

Seems you haven’t given nearly enough information. Do you no longer love your wife or find her attractive. Is she not sexually active. Are you just ready to move on from her? Those questions need to be answered first.

Then you need to decide what it is you want on the other side. Do you want a girlfriend that you can fuck often and date? Are you looking for random hook ups for fun? Non committed sexual fun? That’s all available of course for a single man of any age.

If you want to move on from the wife is she agreeable to that and would also want the divorce? If so, is she willing to be reasonable financially in her leaving? When I was a divorce lawyer the question I asked every client was “are you willing to to give her everything so you can be free?” If the answer was yes the I knew they were ready to get out. If they didn’t, the divorce was going to much harder and freedom was too costly for them.

Answer those questions for yourself and that’ll tell you where you need to be. If you just aren’t interested in a life with your wife any longer, you can leave, fuck whores at your leisure and even find a young girlfriend that’ll be a nutguzzling little freak 24/7. There’s likely not much else you’ll want from her and she’ll likely be cheaper than a wife since you won’t invest in her at all if you’re smart. You’ll move on to the next one when she wants more from you. Or you can fuck a new whore each week but that’ll get costly 3-4000 a month if you’re having sex 2-3 times a weeks.

What is it that you think you want outta this new life.

[Charley3]

A lot comes down to asking yourself how you feel about your wife. All the guys I know that got divorced did so because their wives were complete bitches.

[goingfishing]

I had a loveless marriage to a woman who got born again but could not resolve any of her anger issues. I tried to hold on but after 29 years of marriage she finally left- the best thing she ever did for me. The last 6 years have been awesome!!! The only probably is the alimony last for 30-50% of the time of the marriage. The attorneys and we agreed to an alimony period of 12.5 years...I have to pay alimony till on 68.5!!! End the marriage sooner rather than later- I stayed in it thinking I was doing the right thing, but it was the wrong thing for the kids- they saw a lot of stuff they shouldn't have- the wife went nuts. ERWnyNot's post is spot on, though I wasn't as lucky with the women as he was- I've got game and confidence and am in shape for my age but a lot of women in their late 50s are looking for a relationship first before having sex...or perhaps I am not good at closing the deal. Consult an attorney first so you know what you're looking at, and best of luck!!!

[KCFalcon77]

Originally Posted by ERWhyNot

I was pretty much in the same position as you. My youngest just graduated high school. There was no love in my marriage. I asked for a divorce, did the counseling thing, then got divorced. Be aware; if your wife hasn’t worked and made much money, her lawyer will try and get spousal support. Most judges won’t make you pay it.
Anyway, my kids and remainder of family are now cool; they all wondered why I waited so long. I’ve had the best time of my life since then. If you’re in good shape, half decent looking, have a good job, your own place, a little bit of game, you will have all the fun you can stand from woman of all ages and races. I got more sex than at any point of my life. I had so many I could turn it down. Women that I thought wouldn’t even look at me wanted to hang out. I had women try and pick me up in bars. The key is acting like you’re not heavily interested in them.
The key is kindness, adventurous, don’t be needy, and have confidence; not arrogance.
You will have women of all ages that basically want someone to take care of them so watch out for that.
Read anything you can by Allen Roger Currie. His books work!
You will be happier than ever. Some lonely nights but you will rarely come home empty handed unless you just want the time alone.
Best of luck and feel free to PM me for any other details.

Interesting. I mean I'm not doubting what your saying but find it a bit odd that you are divorced, Have game, can get so much pussy your turning it away, (supposedly)and yet your active on a "pay for play" site? Seems a bit counter intuitive to me, but hey just one gents opinion..