Help me understand

[MissNatalieMarie]

Do you meet providers who don't need verification of any kind?

I just don't understand why that's not a red flag or concern. If a provider doesn't want any verification that shows if she's not even concerned about her safety she definitely isn't concerned about yours!!!

[Unique_Carpenter]

Natalie,
Welcome to the "we only watch train wrecks happen" audience.

[MissNatalieMarie]

I have spent so much time trying to elaborate this to several people to get them to understand, not because I want them to hang out with me but because the situations they could potentially get into make me sick!!!

[Hawks222]

I don’t mind being verified. I’ll usually do whatever you need me to do as long as it doesn’t give away too much personal info. Makes me feel a little more comfortable seeing a provider doing it. I usually get high anxiety walking in a room with someone first time. I will not send a deposit however under no circumstance. Don’t care if they have positive reviews on here and are well reviewed.

[Unique_Carpenter]

Originally Posted by MissNatalieMarie

... because the situations they DO get into ...

FTFY

Seriously though, none of you would believe some of what gets written up in hotel incident reports and how frequent.

[ReeceMcneal]

Nope. I totally get the verification. It goes both ways. The troublesome part for providers are the hobbyists that you shouldn't see. Those guys are not typically active on these sites cause of their reps.

To me, if a hobbyist isn't willing to give some information to ensure your safety, move on.

Same thing for providers, if I can't verify some level of reviews done on you, I'm moving on as well.

[Discreetfun77]

Because not every one is honest like you are. Getting some personal information is all some need to try to blackmail you. It’s happened to me.

So there is a line. Some verification to a proven provider is great. I won’t verify with someone that doesn’t have an online presence or other reviews. But I also won’t see someone with zero verification and no way to verify that they are who they say they are.

It’s tricky and not always straight forward. But I understand how some guys won’t provide anything and want everyone to remain anonymous. It’s risky as hell and not for me. But I see where they are coming from.

[fugitoid]

I agree - it's a tricky situation. I will only see someone with reviews or a good referral from someone else, and likewise I expect some level of screening or referral. That said, giving my full driver's license to anyone who asks makes me feel odd too, especially since I *do* have referrals to vouch for me.

The blackmail thing certainly does come to mind. I'm fortunate in that my spouse is reasonably okay with my hobbying (with rules around it) but society being what it is (and legality being what it is too) that doesn't mean I want someone shouting it from the rooftops.

[thedude83]

I think it all depends on what you're asking for verification. Because keep in mind, both sides of this equation are (rightfully) on edge about their safety.

From a hobbyists perspective:
- review board membership\history- lowest risk. someone who has been on here for a long time with a long history of reviews is less likely to have issues, particularly LE ones.
- Reference- low-risk, but if you don't see many providers or many ones who will provide references (or the ones you did see retire), this can be difficult to provide.
- A picture with a certain pose? (which I think is what you required iirc) Medium-risk verification. I've done this, but it certainly could be misused by a bad actor. Such as a bad provider lashing out at someone who provided a poor review\warning- providers have spammed pictures of people on places like STG before for various reasons, some deserved.
- Driver's license? High risk verification, as I've now given someone I don't know my address and some personally identifying info that could be used in ID theft.
- Deposit? With the amount of scammers out there, most of the time those asking for deposits will disappear as soon as you send the money.

[ScrewDriver01]

Marie - As others have mentioned above, Verification - upto a certain point is fine. You need to draw a line. No personal verification whatsoever. Purely hobby related only.

Originally Posted by MissNatalieMarie

Do you meet providers who don't need verification of any kind?

I just don't understand why that's not a red flag or concern. If a provider doesn't want any verification that shows if she's not even concerned about her safety she definitely isn't concerned about yours!!!

Op - This. No Deposit whatsoever.

Originally Posted by Hawks222

I don’t mind being verified. I’ll usually do whatever you need me to do as long as it doesn’t give away too much personal info. Makes me feel a little more comfortable seeing a provider doing it. I usually get high anxiety walking in a room with someone first time. I will not send a deposit however under no circumstance. Don’t care if they have positive reviews on here and are well reviewed.

RM - Can't agree to this fully. Ensuring the provider's safety doesn't mean, I share my personal details if she asks for it. Sorry. That's the line that we need to draw. You can't be desperate to meet a provider unless you want to risk your personal life. I never ever share my online presence with any provider, EXCEPT Hobby related. NEVER EVER, Irrespective of who's on the other end !

Originally Posted by ReeceMcneal

To me, if a hobbyist isn't willing to give some information to ensure your safety, move on.

DF - You need to give the benefit of doubt to some providers. We all would agree that we all started with 0 reviews and 0 verification at some stage. There are always new providers and hobbyists entering into this Hobby world each day. Just think about them.

Originally Posted by Discreetfun77

So there is a line. Some verification to a proven provider is great. I won’t verify with someone that doesn’t have an online presence or other reviews. But I also won’t see someone with zero verification and no way to verify that they are who they say they are.

Yes - you said it right !

Originally Posted by thedude83

I think it all depends on what you're asking for verification. Because keep in mind, both sides of this equation are (rightfully) on edge about their safety.
From a hobbyists perspective:
- review board membership\history- lowest risk. someone who has been on here for a long time with a long history of reviews is less likely to have issues, particularly LE ones.
- Reference- low-risk, but if you don't see many providers or many ones who will provide references (or the ones you did see retire), this can be difficult to provide.
- A picture with a certain pose? (which I think is what you required iirc) Medium-risk verification. I've done this, but it certainly could be misused by a bad actor. Such as a bad provider lashing out at someone who provided a poor review\warning- providers have spammed pictures of people on places like STG before for various reasons, some deserved.
- Driver's license? High risk verification, as I've now given someone I don't know my address and some personally identifying info that could be used in ID theft.
- Deposit? With the amount of scammers out there, most of the time those asking for deposits will disappear as soon as you send the money.

[Discreetfun77]

Great points.

[MissNatalieMarie]

SD...

About personal information you elaborated on never giving providers any personal information NEVER EVER...

So why aren't we given the same respect..you guys post things about us that isn't your place to post...for example it was made known on here when I went to prison but which one of you had experienced anything that had to do with me going to prison none of you my prison stay had not anything to do with anybody on this website so why was it posted? A hobbyist exposed me and my sister... And that was nobody's place to tell anybody what if we didn't want people to know we were sisters what if that wasn't something we wanted to share because we don't have to...

This isn't a gossip website it's supposed to be enjoyable and fun and informational to the hobby not gossiping about providers..

[Unique_Carpenter]

Natalie,
Some of the guys still just don't get that there are huge safety issues for the gals in this endeavor.

Screw Driver,
On the east coast guys will not get a date without RW info being provided.

[Samcroia]

Natalie I saw that post and it was disgusting … he got banned as he should- we all know or absolutely should know the code of our world. I remember the post and commented mods were coming because it was over the line.
I absolutely agree you deserve the same courtesy. We all have family, friends, lives etc and I will absolutely call out people that cross the line- Mods do the best they can but we need to do what we can to protect each other. End of rant - but hope your doing well

Originally Posted by MissNatalieMarie

SD...

About personal information you elaborated on never giving providers any personal information NEVER EVER...

So why aren't we given the same respect..you guys post things about us that isn't your place to post...for example it was made known on here when I went to prison but which one of you had experienced anything that had to do with me going to prison none of you my prison stay had not anything to do with anybody on this website so why was it posted? A hobbyist exposed me and my sister... And that was nobody's place to tell anybody what if we didn't want people to know we were sisters what if that wasn't something we wanted to share because we don't have to...

This isn't a gossip website it's supposed to be enjoyable and fun and informational to the hobby not gossiping about providers..

[ScrewDriver01]

NM - I totally agree with your thoughts.
I totally accept that, as fellow human beings, even you deserve the same respect and privacy, as we guys. 100%.
It IS NOT AT ALL Acceptable to post something personal, if that's not HOBBY related. I totally agree. And that too, bringing your sister into this is totally IRRELEVANT and UNACCEPTABLE.
No one had the right to expose you or your sister, UNLESS, I repeat, UNLESS, the hobbyist's life / safety was at risk.

On the other hand, if there is some information which might put the safety of the Hobbyist at risk, then YES - that is worth sharing here.
And yes - this isn't a Gossip website. But, as there are everywhere, we have some immature d**kheads here on as well ! That's the price which we all pay for immature careless behavior.

Originally Posted by MissNatalieMarie

SD...
About personal information you elaborated on never giving providers any personal information NEVER EVER...

So why aren't we given the same respect..you guys post things about us that isn't your place to post...for example it was made known on here when I went to prison but which one of you had experienced anything that had to do with me going to prison none of you my prison stay had not anything to do with anybody on this website so why was it posted? A hobbyist exposed me and my sister... And that was nobody's place to tell anybody what if we didn't want people to know we were sisters what if that wasn't something we wanted to share because we don't have to...

This isn't a gossip website it's supposed to be enjoyable and fun and informational to the hobby not gossiping about providers..

UC - True ! Gals have to endure such safety issues.
And if the East Coast providers feel they are too entitled to ask for RW info of the guys for Hobby, then SORRY - such p**sy isn't worth my time !
I'm not dating these providers, I'm not getting married to them, damn it ! It's just a couple of hours of fun, which does not require RW info to be shared at any stage !
If these ladies can't verify an Hobbyist based on his reviews or references, then Good Luck to such providers ! God Bless them !

Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter

Natalie,
Some of the guys still just don't get that there are huge safety issues for the gals in this endeavor.

Screw Driver,
On the east coast guys will not get a date without RW info being provided.

Sam - Well said !

Originally Posted by Samcroia

Natalie I saw that post and it was disgusting … he got banned as he should- we all know or absolutely should know the code of our world. I remember the post and commented mods were coming because it was over the line.
I absolutely agree you deserve the same courtesy. We all have family, friends, lives etc and I will absolutely call out people that cross the line- Mods do the best they can but we need to do what we can to protect each other. End of rant - but hope your doing well