Lessons from the GFE?

[sixfootsixpunk]

I've been in the hobby for a minute and usually can walk away no prob from providers knowing it was a good transaction without ever thinking about them again. Honestly. I walk away as a customer. No issues.
I had the first GFE that got me all fucked up. I can't get her out of my mind. Thinking I should have done this or that better. If she thought I was funny or a good lover. What she thought of my body, etc. This provider was EXACTLY the type of girl I would date IRL. Her looks, her vibe, even down to her smell (she didnt wear heavy perfume, if at all). Same feeling i've gotten a few times after a ONS. I'm probably not going to even write a review for fear they see it and I embarrass myself.
Just want to preface this question by saying I'm completely respectful and would NEVER act on these feelings. I was a customer and I am sure she forgot about me the second she left. Thats the way it is and the way it should be!
Question is, have you ever had the same experience and how did you deal? Lessons learned? Genuinely curious about your thoughts.

[FatCity]

I'm no seasoned vet like many here, but I will offer this:

• You can NEVER, ever tell them how close you feel to them and absolutely NOT approach the subject of dating. If its "there", THEY have to be the one to bring it up. If the trick brings it up, the provider immediately loses all respect for them and will resent you.
• A good exercise with every provider is truly examine what/why certain things they do tick with you. Its all about YOU. Explore the feelings it triggers, how it makes you feel about yourself, when you felt like that before. It took me two or three months of introspection for me to figure this out with one girl (who was a horrible provider), but the power of this 1 thing made me forget about the 38 other things*. On another provider, I was able to distinguish 4 unique things about her that appealed to me after two 'dates'. Most of these things, you'll find, are things that are qualities about them, but not things they consciously do. On two other providers, they gave me a very specific feeling and the common denominator was ___, which is something I can now identify immediately with future interactions and actually coach other girls what exactly to do for me.
• The above is what I appreciate the absolute most about this hobby. It provides the trick the ultimate milieu to be completely honest and transparent with another person. Now, granted, most of the providers are disaster zones personally, but they make for good scrimmage partners. I use every encounter as a scrimmage physically, mentally and emotionally and examine any little thing that i can find satisfaction. Find exactly what makes you tick and the things you know you cannot tolerate
• I look at ALL interactions as practice to make me better for THE NEXT ONE. Nothing lasts forever and no woman is ever "ours", we're just leasing her at the moment.

You say you walked away. What happened that it had to END? One of you terminated the business relationship for good?
*this "one thing" was the eroticism of this woman that was imprinted on me in puberty in the early 80s.... where sexuality of that era was subtle, sophisticated and alluring...not outright in-your-face SEX! At the core of it, this provider triggered the response of 2 seconds of Tawny Kitaen in Still of the Night because of her look but also because she was so difficult. Once I was able to identify this for myself, it made sense and made disconnecting this one little circuit all I needed to stop seeing her entirely.

[BigDeal]

In the beginning I was new and had one of my first true ATF regular provider I just was crazy about!
But once I started to make reference my feelings for her.
She was a veteran and quickly put me back in my olace.
Still saw her but learned my lesson.

I had a provider ask me one time "Would you like me to talk to you as a client or a friend?"

I responded "as a friend"

She replied "Good then I can actually be honest with you"

[Wizard of Ahhhhs]

Yep… I think we’ve all had that “one”… and probably “that one that got away”, as well…

[Unique_Carpenter]

Originally Posted by BigDeal

....I had a provider ask me one time "Would you like me to talk to you as a client or a friend?"

I responded "as a friend"

She replied "Good then I can actually be honest with you"

This ^^^^^^

If you can keep perspective, you can make friends.

And sometimes those friends will become civie dating consultants.

[dumars]

I’ve always started out as friends or regular. Over time my “friend” turned out to be not much of a friend! I always ended up with a knife in my back! Stealing, mostly. Happened so many times I’m pretty cold blooded now. My deceased regular got me back on track helping her live her life ‘til the end. But even with her, suspicion was and still is ALWAYS with me!

Basic rule of thumb, just don’t!

As the saying goes, “nothing is as it seems”!

[Get Lucky]

To the OP, you bet! Absolutely!

If you hobby enough, then you are bound to experience that feeling.

The problem … which you need to understand quickly… is she was perfect on that one encounter because that’s her job. To appeal to (whatever) your sense of attractiveness is.

If you were to see her again … then the experience, quite likely, would be different - maybe even disappointing. You captured the unicorn for a brief moment in time. Enjoy the experience and put it in your memory bank.

Now, the above is different if you have seen a provider multiple times and there is a genuine, albeit defined, connection present. That is cool as well … but much more rational and logical to deal with.

All of the above is what makes the hobby exciting … enticing.

[Cherokeechief]

Originally Posted by Get Lucky

To the OP, you bet! Absolutely!

If you hobby enough, then you are bound to experience that feeling.

The problem … which you need to understand quickly… is she was perfect on that one encounter because that’s her job. To appeal to (whatever) your sense of attractiveness is.

If you were to see her again … then the experience, quite likely, would be different - maybe even disappointing. You captured the unicorn for a brief moment in time. Enjoy the experience and put it in your memory bank.

Now, the above is different if you have seen a provider multiple times and there is a genuine, albeit defined, connection present. That is cool as well … but much more rational and logical to deal with.

All of the above is what makes the hobby exciting … enticing.

I understand the dilemma. I have very strong feelings for one in KC and her for me, but we both know what the score is. I've seen her several times and will continue to see her. I do know the feelings and it's great if you can control it. Will see her over Thanksgiving week, but I'll still have the dreams. Good luck to the OP. Hope this helps.

[sixfootsixpunk]

Great replies everyone.

[whatstheplay]

Originally Posted by Cherokeechief

I understand the dilemma. ...........I have very strong feelings for one in KC and her for me, but we both know what the score is.

Chief....is that what she told you at the bar? She told me the same thing!! LOL!!!