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Lana Warren · 02-25-2011, 12:07 AM

Well, I've been a long time member of the Lonely Hearts Club and I guess I should run for presidency since I can't seem to get my act together when it comes to love!

You see, I just kinda started dating someone! Been out a few times with him and already he's moving a little too fast with me! Didn't have the heart to tell him to slow down, so what do I do? I freakin' tell him what I do part time in the hopes that he would run as fast as he could! Hell NO, the idiot is turned on more than ever!

No, I haven't indulged much about this life to him, but the more he asks me about it, the more turned off I am! And what's really funny is, this isn't the first time that this has happened to me! I ended 2 other relationships because of the hobby!

Maybe to some of you, it may be a turn on, but some reason, it's not for me when it comes to personal relationships! Seems like the more honest that I am, the more I want to bolt from the relationship!

I'm really struggling with this! Wish someone could shed some light on why I do this! LOL!

CoHorn · 02-25-2011, 12:21 AM

Just tell him you had sex with me and he'll bolt out the door, screaming like a mad man

Guest071613-2 · 02-25-2011, 12:34 AM

Run like Hell.

Guys who Ive dated that were okay with me being a provider never worked out because it is a turn off for me, too. I understand! I don't want a man who is alright with me doing this, but I'm a little more traditional when it comes to my real life relationships. I like being with a man who wants me all to himself, and when they are turned on by the provider thing, I bolt. Besides, it feels like you are having to talk about work all the time and that gets old. So does feeling like an amusement park or some kind of novelty item, which is why I don't ever tell 'em.

If I want to give mind-blowing performances it will be because I want to, not because he knows about my profession and expects it!

guest031012 · 02-25-2011, 12:39 AM

sorry I don't have any real good advice, but damn Lana, your avatar is HOT

best of luck - It's really hard to have a boyfriend and be a provider...

xoxo

Lana Warren · 02-25-2011, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dannie

Run like Hell.

Guys who Ive dated that were okay with me being a provider never worked out because it is a turn off for me, too. I understand! I don't want a man who is alright with me doing this, but I'm a little more traditional when it comes to my real life relationships. I like being with a man who wants me all to himself, and when they are turned on by the provider thing, I bolt. Besides, it feels like you are having to talk about work all the time and that gets old. So does feeling like an amusement park or some kind of novelty item, which is why I don't ever tell 'em.

If I want to give mind-blowing performances it will be because I want to, not because he knows about my profession and expects it!

Bingo, Dannie! You nailed it, babe!

Lana Warren · 02-25-2011, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamieYoung

sorry I don't have any real good advice, but damn Lana, your avatar is HOT

best of luck - It's really hard to have a boyfriend and be a provider...

xoxo

Awwwww sweetheart, thank you! Hope you're doing well, love!

guest062511-1 · 02-25-2011, 01:33 AM

@Lana... Girl, from my own experiences, it's hard to make a relationship work when you're in the hobby.. It's the same story with every guy... At first, they like it, are intrigued by it, turned on by it, and say they don't have a problem with it.. In fact, they say they respect the hustle.. Then as time goes on, they start asking questions, start doubting themselves, start thinking they could never be with someone like "us", and before you know it they try and make you quit the biz.. SMDH

guest062511-1 · 02-25-2011, 01:36 AM

The best advice I can give you is to hide it from him... I know lots of providers that do that and they get away with it

heather nicole · 02-25-2011, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lana Warren

Well, I've been a long time member of the Lonely Hearts Club and I guess I should run for presidency since I can't seem to get my act together when it comes to love!

You see, I just kinda started dating someone! Been out a few times with him and already he's moving a little too fast with me! Didn't have the heart to tell him to slow down, so what do I do? I freakin' tell him what I do part time in the hopes that he would run as fast as he could! Hell NO, the idiot is turned on more than ever!

No, I haven't indulged much about this life to him, but the more he asks me about it, the more turned off I am! And what's really funny is, this isn't the first time that this has happened to me! I ended 2 other relationships because of the hobby!

Maybe to some of you, it may be a turn on, but some reason, it's not for me when it comes to personal relationships! Seems like the more honest that I am, the more I want to bolt from the relationship!

I'm really struggling with this! Wish someone could shed some light on why I do this! LOL!

There's nothing wrong with having total honesty in a relationship. In fact, I don't have a guy because I don't feel it's fair to the other party. You're just going through a process of elimination. You are not going to completely click with every guy out there. If you feel you are doing things to subconsciously sabotage any chance of a relationship then maybe you should listen to that little voice even more.

Don't second guess yourself or think there's something wrong with you. It's obvious he wasn't quite right or you probably would have been more than fine with whatever speed he wanted to go. You're just not that into him...lol.

I'm just glad you're putting yourself out there. You have more guts than I do in that scenario. Good luck and be good to yourself.

Guest071613-2 · 02-25-2011, 04:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adrianna Love

@Lana... Girl, from my own experiences, it's hard to make a relationship work when you're in the hobby.. It's the same story with every guy... At first, they like it, are intrigued by it, turned on by it, and say they don't have a problem with it.. In fact, they say they respect the hustle.. Then as time goes on, they start asking questions, start doubting themselves, start thinking they could never be with someone like "us", and before you know it they try and make you quit the biz.. SMDH

+1000!

Don't forget to add that the first heated argument you have with him, the fascination ends and he will get to calling you a "whore" or a "slut", and start throwing your career choice in your face. Never fails!

T-Can · 02-25-2011, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lana Warren

I'm really struggling with this! Wish someone could shed some light on why I do this! LOL!

Ummm, so should I still be taking advice from you on my situation.....

Lana Warren · 02-25-2011, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanDo01

Ummm, so should I still be taking advice from you on my situation.....

Do as a say, not as I do!

1Curiousguy · 02-25-2011, 06:59 AM

Lana, I do wish you the best in this arena that is so important to you.

However, you've been partly honest with this guy. Maybe you need to be COMPLETELY honest with him and tell him you need to dial the relationship back. That is IF you still want to see him.

Tell him that the hobby is work for you and you don't want to "entertain him with your work life," that discussing it is not something you want to do.

Tell him you want to exit this lifestyle when you find the right guy or when certain goals have been accomplished. This is temporary and necessary, you didn't do this because it's easy and fun. It's work and you need the money.

Tell him he's moving TOO FAST.

And go from there. What you have done is titillate him with the thought of the racy woman he's seeing and the stories you'll have to tell. He is curious about the lifestyle and your role in it and he wants to see the "inside story" like he's reading a tabloid.

Easy to do? No, I know it's not. And whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you find what you're looking for. It's just my opinion and it's probably worth what you paid for it.

italian1 · 02-25-2011, 07:29 AM

Dammit Lana...I'm jealous!!!!
Good luck.
Cheers!

HoneyRose · 02-25-2011, 08:24 AM

I agree with Copier Guy.

You let this new love interest rush things. It forced you to have "the talk" before you felt emotionally safe with him.

My mother used to tell me that men are the gas pedal but women are the brakes

Yes, a man drives the relationship forward but the woman's job is to slow it down until the comittment and attachment are there.

If you just wanted to casually date and hold hands (so to speak), don't let him push you into early "coupledom".