Newbie friendly General info/ FAQ

[dj8rocks]

So, you are on your way. It may be helpful to calm your nerves, which are very likely a mess at this point, to know what to expect.

When you get to her general location, check the time. If you've followed my advice about leaving early for traffic contingencies you most likely have arrived a little early. That doesn't mean you should text her and let her know as soon as you arrive. Wait until the appointment time to text or call for her room number. It's important to not be late, but also to not be early, as she is likely still getting ready almost up until time to see you. She'll send the room number and that's your cue that it's OK to go there. Note, this assumes she's in a hotel, which is the most common scenario in my experience. If it's a private residence and all you have is an intersection or landmark, you probably do need to text her from there when you arrive so there's time to make the next leg of your journey.

Typically you'll get a reply that's just the room number, for example "218" (or street address if residential). Once you get that it's time to head to where she is. If going to a private residence instead of a hotel, I'll typically wait somewhere nearby (not on her street though) until appointment time and then send a text so she knows I'm on the way to her door.

Here is where we need to talk about discretion, at least one part of it. Whether in a hotel or a private neighborhood, the last thing your provider wants is undue attention being directed her way. Look like you belong there. Don't count your donation walking through the hotel lobby, or be on the phone asking her the room number there. Try not to look lost as you attempt to locate the elevator. You may be very nervous walking through the lobby, thinking everyone is watching you and has a pretty good idea why you're there. That is not the case. They don't give a shit about you, unless you give them a reason to. So don't.

When you get to her room, don't bang loudly on the door. She knows you're on the way, and a few light taps will suffice. Sometimes she may even be watching from the peephole and open it when she sees you without you having to knock. On a couple of occasions providers have let me know they left the door slightly ajar and to come on in, but this is not as common. Just don't make loud noises and attract attention. If you're there at certain times of day, you may encounter housekeeping staff. They also don't give a crap about you. Just be cool.

In a hotel, she may be behind the door where you are unable to see her when she first opens it. This is pretty common in my experience and nothing to worry about. Perhaps she's wearing a skimpy outfit and doesn't want to flash passersby, or possibly just wants to keep people who have seen her face in the hotel to a minimum.

Often you'll get a hug and perhaps a small kiss when you enter. You'll typically be invited to sit down on the bed with her and have some conversation to break the ice. If you're nervous, it's okay to acknowledge it. It might actually be better - due to nerves, your body language or mannerisms may be off-putting. Showing some vulnerability by telling her you're a bit nervous could serve to put her more at ease herself and not read too much into any negative body language cues you're giving off.

On the way to the bed is a good time to lay the donation down. Simply put it where she can see it. Do not mention it, gesture to it, or call attention to it any other way. The bedside table works well unless she's specified some other place. Envelope or no envelope depends on her preference as specified in her showcase or P411 profile. I usually don't use an envelope unless the lady has requested it because I know a few ladies specifically don't want an envelope. Most don't care, as far as I can tell. There are ladies that would like you to excuse yourself to the restroom at this point so they can verify your donation (you'd know from reading their showcase - you did that, right?). I comply with that if I know about it. If you're seeing reputable ladies from eccie/P411, they should still be there when you get back. If seeing less reputable ladies from elsewhere, it might be riskier.

So you'll talk on the bed for a bit and at some point she'll likely use the phrase 'get comfortable', as in 'would you like to get comfortable?' or 'feel free to get comfortable'. That means you are free to remove whatever articles of clothing would impede your progress for whatever activities you have in mind. In other words: take your clothes off. It's time for what you came for.

I'm not going to get into specifics about activities but here are a few words of advice:

• Ask for what you want. She's not a mind reader.
• However, if you ask for what you want and the answer is no, it means only one thing: no. Yes, consent is still required, even when paying.
• Some ladies have a well-defined routine they use, others prefer for you to lead. You'll just have to figure that out as you go.

I personally try to keep track of the time and pacing so that I'm ready to leave when my time is up. It takes a while to get used to that though. Some providers are OK if you go a few minutes over (but if you do, I'd suggest leaving them a tip). You'll be a lot more popular with them if you aren't a guy who habitually pays for a certain amount of time and then tries to overstay for a longer time without compensation.

Be as discreet when leaving as you were when entering. Don't let the door slam, don't call attention to her or to yourself. Just be another face in the crowd.

Will every first appointment go exactly as described above? No, of course not. This is giving you what is in my experience the most common scenario but you should always be prepared to ad lib if things go differently.

For Myself, I have a little wireless Bluetooth speaker I bring along. I have several albums downloaded on my phone, depending on the appointment length as to which albums I play, as I know how long the albums playlists are

[dj8rocks]

In a previous post, you learned how to be discreet (pedantic: the proper word is indeed discreet, not discrete) before and after the session, by not doing anything that would call attention to yourself, your provider, or hint at your purpose for being there. Discretion - the characteristic of one who is discreet - goes far beyond that, however, and extends outside of the scope of any individual session.

In my view, discretion means being cautious about what is shared so that you don't reveal any details about the provider that she doesn't publicly reveal herself, such as:

• Anything about her real identity
• Her phone number, unless she posts it publicly herself
• Details or clues about her location
• Anything shared with you in confidence

It may be helpful to think of a few examples.

Phone number is one that trips a lot of people up, Don't post it in a review unless the provider publicly posts it herself. Instead you can just put something like "provided after screening". Don't share her phone number with other clients or potential clients. If she wants them to have it, she will have posted it in her showcase. Also, don't include her phone number if you are using her as a reference. Provider name, email, and showcase link are generally sufficient, and some providers don't even want their phone numbers shared with other providers, so the best practice is not to include it. They have ways of reaching each other.

You may encounter providers that disguise their true appearance in some way for purposes of further obscuring their identity in showcase pictures. I personally think it is out of bounds to reveal the nature of the disguise in that case.

It is unlikely to happen on a first encounter, but in the future if you have providers you see on a regular basis, you may at some point be given their true first names. That should not be revealed to anyone - other providers or clients alike.

If you go to a provider's residential incall, you must protect information about her location. Don't get too specific about it in reviews, forum posts, PM discussions, or anywhere else. I am intentionally vague about locations in reviews. Even for providers in hotels, don't use the hotel name. She might still be there, and even if not, it's best not to bring attention to any particular hotel being used.

Those are just a few of what I consider to be the most important examples. Here is where I could use some help from the providers - what other advice would they give about discretion?

For me, 95% of my appointments are outcall. Same rules apply here for both parties

[dj8rocks]

As a newbie, one of your priorities needs to be collecting some references so that non-newbie friendly providers will see you - perhaps unless you have P411, in which case your Okays will often serve as your reference. Even then, it's good to have some references handy in case you don't yet have the number of Okays a provider requires or wish to see someone not on P411.

Some providers will offer to be a reference for you after you've seen them. If not, it's okay to ask if they will.

A note about reference etiquette: References don't last forever. Many ladies don't want to be a reference beyond a certain period of time after the last time you've seen them. Six months is the number I've most frequently heard, but there are ladies that have both longer and shorter reference horizons. If in doubt, ask.

On those few occasions when I've needed to send anyone references (because they were not yet on P411), here is what I've sent:

eccie handle (if contacting by email or P411)
Reference provider name and email
Link to reference provider's showcase

I do not send the reference provider's phone number because some providers do not want it shared, even with other providers. They have ways to contact each other, so it is not necessary or desirable to send phone number in my opinion.

The most common amount of references requested is two. Once you have a few, I'd send more if you have them. Why, if she only requires two? Because if she's having trouble getting in touch with one of your references, it may speed things up if she has other options to try.

If you're curious about what your references will say about you, it's generally not much more than telling the other provider you are safe to see. Not critiquing your performance or anything like that - although if you did something in a prior appointment that annoyed your reference provider or violated her etiquette guidelines in some way, she may mention that even if she says you're safe to see. In general though, there's really not much to it. Just verification that she's seen you and you're safe.

There are a few downsides to references:

• As already noted, they don't generally last forever, so you need to stay on top of keeping them fresh, which can be a challenge if you don't hobby very often.
• Most providers are reference friendly, but not all. Some may not be willing to give a reference.
• Even for providers who are reference friendly, there may be certain providers they won't give a reference to due to prior personal conflict with them. Also, some providers may not accept a reference from certain other providers.
• References may not travel well - providers from your local area may be less likely to give references to providers they don't know in other locales, and providers in other cities may not accept references from providers they don't know in your home city.
• I would not say this is common, and I very much hope it isn't, but it's not unheard of for a provider to give a "no" reference (or just not respond) and reach out to the prospective client to try to poach the appointment from the provider that asked for the reference. You don't want to be in the middle of that. I am positive that the reputable ladies I've seen would never dream of doing anything like this, but I've heard of it happening on occasion so it's worth being aware of.

Once again, I think P411 largely solves all of this. P411 Okays never expire. P411 requires providers to give them as long as the session happened and there were no conditions (abusive behavior, etc) that would justify refusal to give an okay. In my experience they are accepted just fine by providers outside your home territory.

I've had to use references only a couple of times because of being a P411 member and having a good amount of okays there. I find P411 superior system to using references and it certainly makes things easier, but if you choose to do without it, the above guidelines should help you get and keep your references in order.

Providers, since I use P411 I would not say I'm an expert in references, this is just what I've learned from talking to many of you. It would be most welcome if I've misstated anything for you to correct or clarify, as well as add any of your own thoughts about proper reference procedures.

Again a good post. This applies to both the ladies and the gents. For the ladies, the reviews are as helpful to you getting started to becoming a reputable, verified provider. So. I ask you to keep in mind that the guys are needing your references as much as you are needing their reviews

[dj8rocks]

I will be adding more to this as I continue my research. I really ask that the veteran ladies and gentlemen jump on board with this and offer any and all insight to what they feel is also helpful. I cant take credit for a good part of this, much of it is copied and pasted with my thoughts thrown in as well.

[Paddy Daddy]

I nominate DJ8 for “Moderator Status”!!!! Do I have a second?

[dj8rocks]

Lol, thanks PD. I didn’t write the majority of this stuff, just spent days researching and marking threads so I could sit down and put a good bit of it together to post in one sitting. I just want to see everybody have an informed, safe and successful hobby experience.

[klassykallie]

My idea of a perfect client during a stress free, enjoyable session! Thank you for posting this. Especially the part about laying the donation down at the beginning. If you wait to take out donation until the end, I assure you your session will not be as great as it could be.

I'm not great at writing so I hope this doesn't come off too crass.

If you wait to take out donation until the end I can tell you a few things that I hope encourages you to consider at least trying to put it down at the start of your session. Assuming of course she is a reputable provider.

Sometimes guys forget to lay it out totally understandable. We want to mention the donation but we feel trapped because that's a "no no" to talk about during a session. Gradually becoming consumed with foreboding thoughts. Yet we still are trying to be as attentive and accommodating as we can. Really trying to remain focused on you.

We may begin to recall other sessions that ended with the client shorting or just flat out stiffing us. Feelings of being exploited, violated, debased, abused, etc. May even develop feelings of resentment that builds more and more as the session continues. Until finally, you lay down her donation. Her mind begins to shift to a more relaxed state. She smiles at you genuinely. Making fun small talk as you get ready to leave.

Now that her mind has been put to ease, she notices that she is all turned on. Her body has already been stimulated, but her mind was in the way of her being able to really enjoy. You are gone now so she has to masturbate....or just see someone else.

From my experience, I have never had a guy NOT want me to get off for him. They usually try all kinds of ways to get us there. Why not assist yourself in your endeavor by putting our mind at ease. Men are stimulated visually they don't NEED to have their mind at ease to get there. Women are stimulated mentally if we are not in the right state of mind, nothing will get us off.

Every provider has had different experiences and reactions. To some donation etiquette truly may not matter. But the handful of providers I have met in person and become acquainted with feel about the same as I do.

Anywho..That's my 53cents on it.

[dj8rocks]

Thank you ma’am for your input. An environment that has had the more stressful aspects removed from the equation always tends to flow much smoother.

[dj8rocks]

As we all know, some changes had to be made to make our site to become more in compliance with regulations.

Just a few of the major changes are around the ladies bio pages, encounter reports, acronyms and some general verbage that we have used to refer to our lady and gentlemen friends in endearing ways.

The ladies pages cannot have any nude photos, service acronyms or rates listed.

Encounter reports cannot publicly list rates, or activities. For now, I’m understanding that info can be placed in the ROS or used within the private hashtags or the Men’s Lounge.

We have to think about what we are trying to say in general and word things a little differently in all public viewed areas of the boards in order to help keep ourselves and our boards a better and safer environment.

[dj8rocks]

https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2374128

This just recently has been clarified for the activities section of the encounter report.

Fees can and should still be placed in the ROS section of the encounter.

[dj8rocks]

The following changes were implemented for the Signatures Lines.

Upgraded Female Accounts may post rates and availability in their signature lines.

Signature lines will now be viewable by only the following types of members.

Upgraded Female Accounts
Premium Access male members
All current and former Staff members

Members who are not one of the above types or lurkers who are not logged in will not be able to view the signature lines.

Found these new changes to the signature lines yesterday. This was posted by Mokoa in an answer to a question in the Technical section on the main boards.

I think this is a positive change that will help us all to keep from having to ask for rates. I especially like the new portion about limiting the audience to certain members.