Masturbating with super glue (hypothetically)

[Irish Bob Parr]

Need some help solving this situation. Let's say, hypothetically of course, that late at night you feel the urge to rub one out and you reach into your big ole drawer of masturbation supplies and pull out the "lube". You apply it, generously, it warms it, you are doing your thing but then it gets sticky, and not in a good way when you realize this may not have been the best idea.

Any suggestions to help recover from this "bonding" session.

[MuchHype]

Must've been quite the effort to type that out one-handed.

[The Infamous One]

Ask David Dueche. This sounds like a job for Bill Nye and their upcoming porn.

This one time at band camp me & my ex were cutting up jalapenos. Fast forward a few hours. OMG the burn! He even called one of his relatives and asked what the best course of action was. She told him to put some salt on that shit, lick it and take another tequila shot.

[tzv13]

I've totally done that before. I feel your (hypothetical) pain. I misplaced my bi-focals and thought I was grabbing the lube, but it was gorilla glue. Take a hot shower. The steam will help break the glue down.

[DSK]

Originally Posted by Irish Bob Parr

Need some help solving this situation. Let's say, hypothetically of course, that late at night you feel the urge to rub one out and you reach into your big ole drawer of masturbation supplies and pull out the "lube". You apply it, generously, it warms it, you are doing your thing but then it gets sticky, and not in a good way when you realize this may not have been the best idea.

Any suggestions to help recover from this "bonding" session.

Call 911!

[Yssup Rider]

LMAO!

But remember. AUSTIN is a hands-free city. SO if you're gonna jerk, don't drive. Or just TCB at the red light.

[privateD84]

Sounds like the movie American Pie 2.