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Sunshine00 · 12-11-2016, 06:16 AM

This email is to the assholes who are making fun of me for being a drug addict it's really disgusting how SOME of you men are acting. To me it shows arrogance and it shows how uneducated you are. it's very immature and it's really really really sad. I pray you guys get educated and I pray this never happens to one of your family members or yourself. I'm going through some serious serious personal issues in my life right now and you guys can sit there and poke fun at me all you want. I relapsed on drugs after several months months clean. It really shows what type of a person you areI am actually quite disgusted about this. I'm trying to better myself and you down grade me? Who are you to judge me? I pray addiction never touches you, YOUR CHILDREN, or anyone in your family. I'm currently 24 days clean. And if anyone in this hobby has ever ever experienced addiction they can tell you the pAin, heartache and struggle we go through everyday. 💯💯👊

I like rice · 12-11-2016, 07:11 AM

Don't worry about what others say or think. You have to do this for you. Work your program. Don't get distracted by negative people. Don't let them control you through words on a screen. It's hard enough without giving them a win by responding to the nonsense. I've not had addiction issues but my brother did for many many years. His problem probably kept me from ever trying anything because I feared it would grab me as well. Get clean and use the experience to impact someone else's life in a positive manner. Good luck to you.

windowsidiot · 12-11-2016, 08:11 AM

Hang in there, follow the program one day at a time. IT WORKS!

DallasRain · 12-11-2016, 09:32 AM

Good luck to ya babe!!!!!!

jaja133 · 12-11-2016, 11:01 AM

The three above said it well. I agree with them.
BIGG HUGG

Mike1961 · 12-11-2016, 11:22 AM

Hang in there Sunshine. Addiction can be a TERRIBLE thing. I've had people in my life that had it and refused to recognize it and it has taken it's toll.

oldguy57II · 12-11-2016, 12:19 PM

I do not find it unusual for you to be going through this. Although it was decades ago, I know the difficulties you are going through personally. It might seem strange for someone on this site to say, but you are in my prayers.

w1nd3rf00l · 12-11-2016, 03:02 PM

Addiction is hard, anyone who says otherwise is lying or dumb.

Be well, Sunshine, and do what it takes to stay well. If that path brings you back to the hobby and it works well for you, great. If it does not, then I wish you all he best. Ignore the assholes, put yourself first.

FWIW, I have seen Sunshine twice, earlier in the year, and both times were delightful and without drama.

This can be a tough hobby. If it contributes to bringing you down, might be best to leave it behind.

Vanguard357 · 12-11-2016, 03:32 PM

I agree what mike said. Its not a good thing at all. The main thing is you have to do it for yourself. Get well.

huskerred · 12-11-2016, 03:58 PM

Stay strong. Ignore those who are spouting negative comments. The rest of us are in your corner and here to support you in this struggle.
FWI, I have never met Subshine, although I would love to in the future. In the meantime I'm here to add my support.

Starman329 · 12-11-2016, 10:05 PM

I sincerely hope you are able to get your life back on track. A word to the wise though, some people trade one addiction for another. A guy I know gave up alcohol but became a workaholic. Now that's not necessarily a bad thing, but given your chosen profession, you could end up REALLY tired and sore. So maybe get addicted to cooking? Or stamp collecting, pottery, maybe even some type of sport.

Not in anyway trying to make light of your situation, just trying to bring a smile to someone dealing with some heavy life stuff. Maybe even one day I'll get to make an appointment with you when and if you are ready to see clients again. Until then, good luck.

Sunshine00 · 12-12-2016, 03:22 AM

You all are amazing �� thanks so much

Ms.Lady Y · 12-12-2016, 11:35 AM

Addiction is a life long struggle and statics say that only around 5% of those who get clean will stay clean, I personally think it is less.
I fill for you I had 12 yrs clean up until about a year ago, when i chose to go back out and see what i thought i was missing. Its hard having that tiny little voice in your head always telling you you don't have to feel anything or care about anything if you come out and play.
Recovery isn't for the weak, it's hard as fuck, then add this job along with the drama, lies, back stabbing and bullshit, its amazing anyone is clean and sober or even wants to be.
You having 23 days is a miracle in it's self, if you fall its okay, its part of recovery and fuck the people that want to down you for it, just shows their ignorance.
Congrats on 23 days, remember its not i will never use again, its i will not use right now at this moment, some days one day at a time is to long and we need to just relax at say one minute, sec at a time to get through the one day.

JdeGriz · 12-12-2016, 01:42 PM

Hang in there, Sunshine. I know what it's like. I have 27 years in the program, but I could relapse any day. It is a day by day, sometimes second by second choice. It sounds crazy, but to conquer it you have to let go and let it happen. Lots of support for you here and in the program, use it. It can be done!!

Contralto · 12-12-2016, 02:01 PM

I have some experience on the professional side of addictive disorders and can tell you another reason to passionately disregard the snark of other people: most of them are addicted to something as well. The souls who are working on their addiction are the kindhearted, compassionate ones commenting above. The brutes who criticize have yet to begin working on theirs. Whether food, sex, drugs, gambling, anger, despair, etc. etc., most people struggle with something.

Fight hard. You're normal.