How do guys get busted?

[Heywood]

Long time member just asked to have his account deleted because he was busted by his SO. Got me to wondering what folks have done in the past to get busted by their SO. I have been in this hobby for about 30 years and pretty sure I have never given anyone reason to be suspicious.

Use either a google voice number or a burner phone and never spend more than I can reasonably explain if it's noticed missing. Having an expensive hobby helps. Also meticulous about clearing cache whenever I use a web browser, even on my phone.

So if anyone has been busted and is still around, care to share your story?

[bigryan2222]

All it takes is one mistake. And human tendency is if you make a mistake and get away with it, you are less likely to take it serious.

[algrace]

I'm not going to go so far as to say anyone is addicted, but if suspected of, for instance, gambling too much or alcoholism, there are signs & inconsistencies which may eventually lead the SO to have deeper concerns which raise questions.

(Un)necessary (pre)caution and discretion are very important. There should be no trail.

Check out the search results for top ways to catch a cheater.
Have a reason to be where you'll be for how long you'll be there. Looks like the most common ways of being caught center around location activity.

[BobsAlias]

I like the idea of searching for "how to catch a cheater"... I hadn't thought of that. Just make sure you use an incognito browser.

Google voice or disposable phones should be a given. If you're smart, you have at least one bank account separate from your SO anyway. Having a reasonable excuse to be away from your SO for a period of time is key. You can't just start making up questionable excuses. Luckily, I have a pretty flexible work schedule, so i never need an excuse to be "out of the house."

[Luxie]

Incognito mode doesn't go far enough as you can still look up activity through your ISP. Use a VPN, there are plenty available and it's a lot more secure. Also, google voice has had issues in the past leaking personal information. Google will also gladly hand over all your texts, call logs and personal information to local LE. A pre paid burner purchased without an ID is the way to go.

Also, do NOT use hotel wifi and search for providers. This is another way to get into trouble. If you must use their wifi - again, use a VPN.

Stay safe!

[silvrline]

Originally Posted by GemmaFox

Incognito mode doesn't go far enough as you can still look up activity through your ISP. Use a VPN, there are plenty available and it's a lot more secure. Also, google voice has had issues in the past leaking personal information. Google will also gladly hand over all your texts, call logs and personal information to local LE. A pre paid burner purchased without an ID is the way to go.

Also, do NOT use hotel wifi and search for providers. This is another way to get into trouble. If you must use their wifi - again, use a VPN.

Stay safe!

Can you give us some examples of these VPNs (I assume you can download them)?

AND, how you could maybe make them not glaringly obvious that they are on your computer?

[BobsAlias]

Originally Posted by GemmaFox

Incognito mode doesn't go far enough as you can still look up activity through your ISP. Use a VPN, there are plenty available and it's a lot more secure. Also, google voice has had issues in the past leaking personal information. Google will also gladly hand over all your texts, call logs and personal information to local LE. A pre paid burner purchased without an ID is the way to go.

Also, do NOT use hotel wifi and search for providers. This is another way to get into trouble. If you must use their wifi - again, use a VPN.

Stay safe!

All very true. I guess I was thinking more about a snooping SO vs LE.

[Luxie]

Here is some quality information on what a VPN is and how to choose a good one.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2403388,00.asp

[bilbobaggin]

Originally Posted by silvrline

Can you give us some examples of these VPNs (I assume you can download them)?

AND, how you could maybe make them not glaringly obvious that they are on your computer?

I like cyberghost. http://www.cyberghostvpn.com/en_us. Never had problems, and it's European based so not much crackdown on it.

Easy way to hide anything is the make all the folders hidden, and then you cannot see them without showing hidden folders. If SO is computer literate it's not that hidden, simple windows click can show. Probably easier to explain that your worried about internet security and hackers so you beef up on security.

[HoneyAngel]

Not using hotel wifi �� is a good precaution. Yes, a VPN. It works for some folks to use the Internet Sharing option on their phone, to send a signal to their computer. While at their hotel. It does not use much of your data package. An excuse for having an extra computer �� could be that . Well, in your computer is lost, or crashes. You have an extra one. If we were to have a date. We could take about this to share some secrets with you from a woman's perspective. Love, and light, Dear.

[Cleo]

Isn't the first step to getting busted, using ANY "public;" computer, phone, or tablet? Meaning one that is used, shared by, or accessible by the one that you don't wish to know about your hobbying. Seems to me that if you don't use a "public" device, and keep knowledge of and access to your "private" device restricted to just yourself, then you're well on your way to being NOT busted? Maybe I'm oversimplifying this?

[timmystool]

Originally Posted by Cleo

Isn't the first step to getting busted, using ANY "public;" computer, phone, or tablet? Meaning one that is used, shared by, or accessible by the one that you don't wish to know about your hobbying. Seems to me that if you don't use a "public" device, and keep knowledge of and access to your "private" device restricted to just yourself, then you're well on your way to being NOT busted? Maybe I'm oversimplifying this?

I'd guess the first step to getting caught is to stop fucking your SO
if you don't the desire or try to get sum, then s/he will wonder whats going on

so keep buffing her....right?

[HoneyAngel]

Definitely do not use public computer. Only your own secret computer that you SO does not know about. Maybe a cell phone with a pass code options. This will keep your phone. Looked. Perhaps leaving those devices at your work or at a relative house on their property where you access to it any time.

[royamcr]

Originally Posted by timmystool

I'd guess the first step to getting caught is to stop fucking your SO
if you don't the desire or try to get sum, then s/he will wonder whats going on

so keep buffing her....right?

And don't come home with stinky finger...

[Contralto]

Oh, this is a great thread. I've always wondered this. Here are a few thoughts from close calls of my own.

Leaving the site (or any trace thereof) open on any computer can be the gateway to an investigation. I don't think it requires a computer literate SO at that point--I think it requires a determined one and they usually are when they think their money is being funneled down someone else's hole. And once determined, they can usually track down on the computer all they need to know by googling, asking friends, etc.

Other gents may get busted by taking round amount cash withdrawals from a joint account, leading to a good questioning. Or perhaps an unlocked hobby phone (Oh, the horrors of stupidity!).

I do know of one gentleman who was outed to a spouse by a provider who became angry because, she said, he was NCNS her too many times.

Anyway, I think there are lots of risks and many gateways to be guarded. Oh what a tangled web we weave...