Are we made to be with only 1 individual?

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by Island_Gent

Just sayin...

That is also bullshit... immature dusty negro logic.`

[Island_Gent]

Originally Posted by Hottentot Venus

That is also... Hobbyist logic.`

Fixed.

You're missing my broader point babygirl. I like to think of it more as compartmentalisation. Applied to the hobby it's how I'm able to do what I do, have fun and keep a few of you financially stable for a time and lay my head on my pillow absent any feeling of guilt.

[anita]

You can't squeeze the infinite in a monogamous relationship, but you can be loyal to your significant other. Loyalty and fidelity are two different things in my opinion.

[shouldimaybe]

"Daddy's gonna love one and all" - Sublime

[Guest041017-2]

I have never heard of a woman saying "I respect the fact my man told me he wanted to do his own thing". That is a total lie... If any man do say that I'm sure the judge will hear about it during divorce procedings along with the lies that will be told. Especially if there are children involved. I'd rather stick around and use that money to hobby instead of on child support.

[Wakeup]

Thanks for admitting you don't give a fuck about your wife's feelings...nice marriage you have there...

[Stevie_guy]

This is a great thread, me thinking, fits very well here. Wondering why I didn't see it earlier.

Hobbyists are not cheaters. Those who screw around with emotional involvements are.

Monogamy in its perfect form is the highest desire/dream of men and women. The mere pursue of it brings one courage and happiness. It's one of our basic needs, just like food and shelter, although most of us won't get as much/good as we want.

Promiscuousness brings short-term relaxation and content, but no true happiness and satisfaction. It's an addiction for sure.

[Wakeup]

Everything in your post was ignorant...

Next?

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by hockeyman

I have never heard of a woman saying "I respect the fact my man told me he wanted to do his own thing". That is a total lie... If any man do say that I'm sure the judge will hear about it during divorce procedings along with the lies that will be told. Especially if there are children involved. I'd rather stick around and use that money to hobby instead of on child support.

How many women have you asked? One boyfriend that I had did tell me that. He specifically said I am NOT a one woman type of man. And I respected the fuck out of him for telling me that because it also shows that he is not going to lie through his teeth just to get what he wants. Not every woman is as stuck-up and finicky about a man's sexual habits as you would like to believe. If you tell a chick that before the relationship gets deep and rocky instead of lying, I doubt the divorce court is what you'll have to worry about.

Again, your need to make excuses to justify your behavior pretty much sums up why your relationship isn't really that hot. She probably knows that she is in a marriage with a complete and unapologetic liar. NOT a personal hit on you though it may seem like it by calling you a liar, but it is what it is. Had you just said "I like to get my dick wet with random pussy that I take money out of my household to pay for because I can't deal with how my wife and I relate sometimes" then we will be able to get somewhere with this conversation.

As I said before, it is the lies and the conniving that makes it especially difficult when you find out that the man that you married is fucking other people regularly when he insist that he's not. Being honest gives people a choice: either they can deal with it and accept it or if that is not the kind of relationship that they can deal with, they can leave. By lying about it, you take her choice and her trust (as well as your self respect) out to the woodshed.

[Stevie_guy]

Well said, HV.
I've dated a girl who told me several times that she'd like to see me having sex with other women. I was just too much of an idiot to take it seriously. It's hard to expose the dark side of you...

And ignorance has been my bless, Wakeup. But I agree with you, "monogamy is perfectly achievable for humans". And we need this kind of dream to live this life "meaningfully". But in the end, it's all just an illusion, everything.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Where do you people come from? Who in the hell needs monogamy and order for their life to be meaningful, and why is it such a "dream" for everyone to achieve to be happy? Your life is meaningful and happy when you don't lie and connive to get what you want and you have some sort of constitution about yourself and your behavior. Stop watching the Lifetime channel and reading Danielle Steele novels as a guideline to how to love and live your life. There is nothing "dark" about healthy sex between consenting adults.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by Island_Gent

Fixed.

You're missing my broader point babygirl. I like to think of it more as compartmentalisation. Applied to the hobby it's how I'm able to do what I do, have fun and keep a few of you financially stable for a time and lay my head on my pillow absent any feeling of guilt.

Compartmentalizing when lying still just that... lying. It's a coping mechanism for cowards to push aside their conscience and do what makes them happy while shitting on someone else's trust and feelings. Guilt is a healthy emotion to feel most times. It is what calibrates our inner moral compass. Question: Would you compartmentalize it if you found out that your SO was sucking mad dick on the low low are throwing money behind it to boot? If the answer is yes, pardon me now, but I would venture to say no. Would you let it go and say, "Babe don't worry about it ..it's okay" without giving her any shit about it considering you enjoy the same thing? Again I would venture to say no. Mainly because people are selfish naturally and because your mind will automatically go back to all the times she has said that she would never sleep with anyone else.

If fucking whores makes you happy, I say have at it. But there is no need to apologize to anyone including yourself if it's a choice that you choose to make. It's your money, and it's your dick. Why men think that women want to be fed a line of horseshit confuses the fuck out of me. What part of love and romance and trust does that come from?

This is why some people are unhappy in their lives... they feel the pressure to hide and be ashamed all the damn time. I prefer the Frank Sinatra method: I do it my way. The guy who I'm involved with right now I told him from the beginning,"Even if I do get married I do not see myself only having sex with one person for the rest of my life." Not only is it boring as hell, but I do not want to paint myself into a corner when knowing full and damn well how I feel about it. If ever there comes a day when he can't deal with that or wants someone who can just be with only him he has a choice and is more than free to find the door. It's not being insensitive, it's just being plain and utterly honest. But I know, I know, honesty doesn't sound as good as all that flowery bullshit.

[JohnnyYanks]

Liars and cheats = cowards. Plain and simple.

[kirbykirby]

No, We were not "made" to be anything specific (unless you believe in God which is fine). We came to be what we are by what was selected for over millions of years & in that vein, we are both a mix of monogamous & polygamous. Something being a "Societal structure /construct" does change the fact that, that very being doing the "social construction" is a product of natural selection. The end result of how we set our society up or personal lives is a direct result of genes being propagated. Some people can stay with 1 person & other have the opposite drive not to.& your brain being a product of natural selection allows you to choose weather you'll act on those drives.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

Liars and cheats = cowards. Plain and simple.

And that's okay... we have all been there. Just remain a coward and don't expect for other people to cosign and help make excuses for your decisions, especially fucked up ones . Most men should be glad you found a bitch that believes in your ass. #realfriendsarenotyesmen

If I was the wifey I be out there getting ole sausage every chance I can get.

"You know it's true. All the things come back to you."
-Steven Tyler, Dream On