Main Menu |
Most Favorited Images |
Recently Uploaded Images |
Most Liked Images |
Top Reviewers |
cockalatte |
649 |
MoneyManMatt |
490 |
Still Looking |
399 |
samcruz |
399 |
Jon Bon |
398 |
Harley Diablo |
377 |
honest_abe |
362 |
DFW_Ladies_Man |
313 |
Chung Tran |
288 |
lupegarland |
287 |
nicemusic |
285 |
Starscream66 |
282 |
You&Me |
281 |
George Spelvin |
270 |
sharkman29 |
256 |
|
Top Posters |
DallasRain | 70819 | biomed1 | 63644 | Yssup Rider | 61244 | gman44 | 53346 | LexusLover | 51038 | offshoredrilling | 48797 | WTF | 48267 | pyramider | 46370 | bambino | 43221 | The_Waco_Kid | 37398 | CryptKicker | 37228 | Mokoa | 36497 | Chung Tran | 36100 | Still Looking | 35944 | Mojojo | 33117 |
|
|
12-18-2015, 06:43 AM
|
#1
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 20, 2010
Location: frostbite falls
Posts: 1,663
|
Loxly's Yearly Xmas Fable
Stolen from last Christmas eve, I hope this years is half as funny!!!
My Yearly Xmas Fable
Yup... that time of year again.
The Holiday Fantasy of an Old Guy!
By “Loxly”
T'was a night before Christmas, unlike any before.
(For the last 10 years they’ve been quite a bore.)
The party I’d left had really gone dead.
So back to my hotel, and the mint on my bed.
I emptied the Bourbon, killed off the Gin,
And figured it was time to just settle in.
The gift Santa Sock, now empty and bare,
Lay draped on the sofa, next to the chair.
I was soon dozing off in the glare of TV,
Not noting the stocking, or the activity.
In my half-sleep I stirred then heard a faint sigh
And turning my head I opened one eye.
I glanced at my stocking, and there seemed to appear
A great pair of legs and a perfect round rear.
She had a red see-through top with white furry trim
Red stockings, garters and a thong… (Very thin!)
Adjusting her hat she spoke with a grin,
“Hope you’re not disappointed, by me dropping in.
That gag note you gave to the guy at the mall?,
WAS the real Santa. Not a fake, not at all!
But there’s no blow-up dolls, they’re all out of stock.
So Santa put ME in your big Christmas Sock.
And we’ve only an hour for some holiday fun.
That’s all there is, then I’ve got to run.
So let’s get going, I came her to please!”
And with that moved forward, and then fell to her knees.
She spoke no more words but went straight to her work.
My briefs coming down with a quick well-training jerk.
The length of my shaft she grazed light with her teeth,
Then surrounded the head with her lips, like a wreath.
As the ball on her tongue made lap after lap,
I knew in a moment that I’d soon blow my sap.
So backing away I fell into the chair
To rest and review this gift standing there.
From her twinkling eyes and luscious red lips,
My eyes wandered down to her breasts and pink nips.
Though veiled in sheer red they were not hard to see.
All firm, erect and just waiting for me.
She took off her garters and undid her top.
Stopping just for a moment to watch my jaw drop.
“You’d better get going ‘cause this night isn’t through”,
Then fingering her thong said, “You know what to do!”
From the rug on the floor and against every wall,
Cowgirl and Doggie, Yeah. We did it all!
Exhausted and drained I flopped back on the bed
The events of this night spinning ‘round in my head.
She picked up her garters and put on her top.
If I wasn’t half-dead I’d have asked her to stop.
But with a pat on my cheek and a kiss on my ear,
She started to fade and to then disappear.
I guess in the end I did get my wish.
Most times I have trouble just getting past “MISH”.
But everything “clicked” and seemed just so right.
With this very special, “Hobby” Christmas night!
|
|
Quote
| 2 users liked this post
|
12-18-2015, 07:21 AM
|
#2
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 9, 2011
Location: Out There...Somewhere....
Posts: 11,361
|
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house....
The whole fucking family was as drunk as a louse.
Ma home from the cat house, & Dad out of jail,
Had just crawled in bed to knock off some tail...
When suddenly in the yard, there arose such a clatter,
I jumped up to see "what the fuck is the matter"?
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Sliped on WhixxZys Cats shit, fell flat on my ass...
But what to my bloodshot eyes did appear,
But a big assed sleigh & eight wasted reindeer...
With a pudgy fat fucker stroking his dick,
I knew in a moment, the bastard was sick...
He screamed at the reindeer, and called them by name,
The last one was Rudolph he yelled as he came...
ON Ricky, ON Hobart, ON SixxZy & Looking,
Hurry cocksuckers my Kittens are Cooking...
They're home with my girlfriend, in my mind I believe,
Why would you think I'm the kind to deceive???
And into the night they flew through the crap,
As he did scream, "where the fuck is that map"?
I've many to visit, and many to haunt,
The evening is young on my pre Christmas jaunt...
Trolling you see is a full year round job,
As is stroking my dick, my fleshy round knob..
I'll visit you soon, don't you rest all in slumber,
Cause I'm bringing my stooges...one is dumb..one is dumber...
|
|
Quote
| 2 users liked this post
|
12-18-2015, 11:39 AM
|
#3
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Mar 31, 2014
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 515
|
Quite an accurate depiction toyz. Most hos wouldn't touch that slimeball with a 39.50 foot pole.
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-18-2015, 02:44 PM
|
#4
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 9, 2011
Location: Out There...Somewhere....
Posts: 11,361
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Peabody
Quite an accurate depiction toyz. Most hos wouldn't touch that slimeball with a 39.50 foot pole.
|
Thanks Mr P!
Just trying to add a bit of fun to this zombie-drama-marathon...
Now back to your regularly scheduled WhixxZy & bandles character assassination attempts....
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-18-2015, 03:46 PM
|
#5
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 20, 2010
Location: frostbite falls
Posts: 1,663
|
Funny shit ToyZ!!!!!
By the way, When did the whores get a raise?
See you after the Holidays, Hope you're all here. One, not so much!
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-18-2015, 03:52 PM
|
#6
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 9, 2011
Location: Out There...Somewhere....
Posts: 11,361
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandB fan
Funny shit ToyZ!!!!!
By the way, When did the whores get a raise?
See you after the Holidays, Hope you're all here. One, not so much!
|
Thanks Rand!
The $2? I think hes factoring in a tip?
Enjoy the Holidaze...drink some eggnog (or whatever)
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-19-2015, 02:24 AM
|
#7
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 20, 2010
Location: frostbite falls
Posts: 1,663
|
That's a big set of panties to get in a wad.
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-19-2015, 03:18 AM
|
#8
|
The Cock Worship Unicorn
User ID: 263584
Join Date: Oct 6, 2014
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,181
My ECCIE Reviews
|
These are hilarious! Thanks Loxly and Toyz
|
|
Quote
| 2 users liked this post
|
12-19-2015, 05:39 PM
|
#9
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Nov 27, 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,603
|
Actually the original was a slideshow/pictorial but never could get it to run correctly.
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-19-2015, 05:51 PM
|
#10
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 20, 2010
Location: frostbite falls
Posts: 1,663
|
TRY AGAIN???
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loxly
Actually the original was a slideshow/pictorial but never could get it to run correctly.
|
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-19-2015, 06:19 PM
|
#11
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 9, 2011
Location: Out There...Somewhere....
Posts: 11,361
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loxly
Actually the original was a slideshow/pictorial but never could get it to run correctly.
|
I wrote mine in 5 minutes sitting in the breakfast nook waiting on the coffee to brew...true story
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-19-2015, 07:44 PM
|
#12
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 20, 2010
Location: frostbite falls
Posts: 1,663
|
And a fine piece of work it was!!!!
now get to adding pictures or video!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toyz
I wrote mine in 5 minutes sitting in the breakfast nook waiting on the coffee to brew...true story
|
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-21-2015, 12:24 AM
|
#13
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Nov 27, 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,603
|
Managed to find one pic from the holiday story. Zasu holding the "gag note". I've been through 2 PCs since this was done so I'm not surprised that I've only found one. Oh well!
Attachment 485389
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-21-2015, 07:49 AM
|
#14
|
BANNED
Join Date: Nov 7, 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 75
|
Who is she looking at?
Person on the left or right?
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
12-21-2015, 07:58 AM
|
#15
|
Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 9, 2011
Location: Out There...Somewhere....
Posts: 11,361
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by powermad
Who is she looking at?
Person on the left or right?
|
Ricky, I think shes looking at someone in the middle...maybe?
|
|
Quote
| 1 user liked this post
|
|
AMPReviews.net |
Find Ladies |
Hot Women |
|