Is the hobby what you had hoped for?

[Shuttleman]

So many ladies, so little money, so little time. Seriously, though, I've experienced an unexpected benefit. Hobbying has given me a tremendous ego boost. Sure, I know in some cases the providers really are just acting. But the ones that I've been able to talk to and get to know a little, other than in bed, leave me feeling like I am desirable. I've taken this confidence home and it has improved my sex life with my SO. Who'da thunk?

[Luvdatpuddy]

I don't know if I'm addressing what the spirit of the original post is, but I'll throw my opinion out there for shits and grins.

So far, from my perspective, the hobby has been rather disappointing, although this is not an indictment on any particular lady. Basically, my original expectations (most of which have been dashed) were:
1) Pictures would be accurate (I mean, way back when I was thinking "what's the point of posting fake pics if you're just going to be busted on it when you meet"). Older pics are kind of exempt from that, as I can see how someone would just keep using the same pics for a while.
2) Since the adage was "you're paying for time", I expected that most activities would be on the menu (exempting bbfs and bbgreek - which are just unsafe). But then you run into "here's what I do" - which is fine, a lady can set her own restrictions, but then you're really not "paying for time".
3) Energy/IOP - Frankly, if I pay for an hour, I expect an hour of activity (minus the requisite downtime between pops). What I've very often encountered is a quick pop at the beginning, and then conversation riding out the hour (not always bad, but not what I was looking for), or a pop at the beginning, followed by her getting dressed and looking to leave (or for me to leave) regardless of time booked. I mean, let's take this to the absolute absurd level - I book an overnight with someone - I expect her to show up rested and ready because there's gonna be banging all night - not two hours of fun and six hours of sleeping.
4) NCNS's - frankly, I've never understood the frequency of these. I could understand cars breaking down, or other random events, but not as often as they seem to occur. I mean, it makes no sense to me - why would you book with someone and not show up? There's money on the table. Now, if something strikes you as hinky about the encounter when you're on the way or something, that's a bit different, but I would still think that a quick text saying "sorry, I'm creeped out about xyz" would be in line.
5) References - still mystifies me. I mean, no amount of checking is going to determine 100% that someone isn't having a psycho day, and logically, you would think that any checking (for any business transaction) would be on the part of the customer. I know there are reasons why, and I'm not trying to tell any lady to modify her practices, but it strikes me as backwards.
6) YMMV - somewhat tied to point 2, but if someone advertises a service, I rather expect that service to be performed. If you truly advertise "you might get xyz", that's fine and honest, if you advertise "xyz is on the menu", then I'm expecting it to be on the menu, and offered/performed.
7) Hygiene - applies to both sides - I take steps to make sure that I'm freshly showered and maintained before an appointment, and don't understand anyone (provider or hobbyist) who doesn't take the same steps. I mean - jeez...I don't want to eat some chicks stanky snatch, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to suck on my reeking junk (maybe there's a fetish for this that I don't know about, but whatever - takes all kinds, I guess).

Ladies, you can totally pick this apart if you like, and NCNS applies to both sides, of course (I don't understand that either, to be honest, but I'm not trying to book with dudes, so it doesn't come up for me), and other issues.

[Windinhishair]

Originally Posted by Luvdatpuddy

I don't know if I'm addressing what the spirit of the original post is, but I'll throw my opinion out there for shits and grins.

So far, from my perspective, the hobby has been rather disappointing, although this is not an indictment on any particular lady. Basically, my original expectations (most of which have been dashed) were:
1) Pictures would be accurate (I mean, way back when I was thinking "what's the point of posting fake pics if you're just going to be busted on it when you meet"). Older pics are kind of exempt from that, as I can see how someone would just keep using the same pics for a while.
2) Since the adage was "you're paying for time", I expected that most activities would be on the menu (exempting bbfs and bbgreek - which are just unsafe). But then you run into "here's what I do" - which is fine, a lady can set her own restrictions, but then you're really not "paying for time".
3) Energy/IOP - Frankly, if I pay for an hour, I expect an hour of activity (minus the requisite downtime between pops). What I've very often encountered is a quick pop at the beginning, and then conversation riding out the hour (not always bad, but not what I was looking for), or a pop at the beginning, followed by her getting dressed and looking to leave (or for me to leave) regardless of time booked. I mean, let's take this to the absolute absurd level - I book an overnight with someone - I expect her to show up rested and ready because there's gonna be banging all night - not two hours of fun and six hours of sleeping.
4) NCNS's - frankly, I've never understood the frequency of these. I could understand cars breaking down, or other random events, but not as often as they seem to occur. I mean, it makes no sense to me - why would you book with someone and not show up? There's money on the table. Now, if something strikes you as hinky about the encounter when you're on the way or something, that's a bit different, but I would still think that a quick text saying "sorry, I'm creeped out about xyz" would be in line.
5) References - still mystifies me. I mean, no amount of checking is going to determine 100% that someone isn't having a psycho day, and logically, you would think that any checking (for any business transaction) would be on the part of the customer. I know there are reasons why, and I'm not trying to tell any lady to modify her practices, but it strikes me as backwards.
6) YMMV - somewhat tied to point 2, but if someone advertises a service, I rather expect that service to be performed. If you truly advertise "you might get xyz", that's fine and honest, if you advertise "xyz is on the menu", then I'm expecting it to be on the menu, and offered/performed.
7) Hygiene - applies to both sides - I take steps to make sure that I'm freshly showered and maintained before an appointment, and don't understand anyone (provider or hobbyist) who doesn't take the same steps. I mean - jeez...I don't want to eat some chicks stanky snatch, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to suck on my reeking junk (maybe there's a fetish for this that I don't know about, but whatever - takes all kinds, I guess).

Ladies, you can totally pick this apart if you like, and NCNS applies to both sides, of course (I don't understand that either, to be honest, but I'm not trying to book with dudes, so it doesn't come up for me), and other issues.

And yet another intelligent, constructive, straight forward and insightful post. OK you guys must be bandles lol (Kidding).

Great thread.

[illuminati]

Originally Posted by Luvdatpuddy

2) Since the adage was "you're paying for time", I expected that most activities would be on the menu (exempting bbfs and bbgreek - which are just unsafe). But then you run into "here's what I do" - which is fine, a lady can set her own restrictions, but then you're really not "paying for time".

Paying for time! That really cracks me. A provider can think all she wants to about me paying for "her time" if that makes her feel better about what she is doing in that time period, but I am not paying for time. I am paying for a service.

[Loxly]

Once I found myself alone I looked for a place or person to fill the sexual gap. An occasional deviance from being "on manual". Other than a decent lay my needs were, and still are, few.

I was very fortunate to hook up with a local group and got "schooled" making connections there. I also made friends with two Providers who gave me a lot of insight with regards to safety.

Overall the hobby is pretty much what I expected. There are probably only 2 aspects that I'd warn anyone about.

1. Don't expect too much in the way of IOP if your resemble her grandfather.
2. Don't get too close with anyone in the hobby lest you get dragged into a situation that's hard to get out of.

[Iron Butterfly]

So my first response was to the disappointment expressed by the OP.

This response now that I have had time to think about it is in response to the question, " is the hobby what I had hoped it would be?"
Absolutely yes. The hobby is a way for me to experience, it never was about needing to get laid. Having the freedom to do as I please in life and still enjoy the throws of a women when I feel like it. If not for the hobby I would be chasing ladies and settling for what I could get (being honest) and that would just lead to getting into more trouble then life should have.
Yes it is a vast hobby with amazing experiences and not so amazing ones. But that's the thing, you have to be pro active in it to experience it, don't just think that every lady is your cloud 9.

I have ladies that are my go to hassle free I need to nut and then there is the chase, yes even in the hobby you have to chase them, NSNC are obstacles now and they have to be maneuvered with skill, or you will just get tripped up. Choice is important too.

Really it is what you make of it, I choos to make it experiences that are new and refreshing. I have done so much in the little time here, but there is so much more to do still, that's exciting and that's what I expected the hobby to be, it has delivered in spades.

IB

[illuminati]

Originally Posted by Loxly

Once I found myself alone I looked for a place or person to fill the sexual gap. An occasional deviance from being "on manual". Other than a decent lay my needs were, and still are, few.

I was very fortunate to hook up with a local group and got "schooled" making connections there. I also made friends with two Providers who gave me a lot of insight with regards to safety.

Overall the hobby is pretty much what I expected. There are probably only 2 aspects that I'd warn anyone about.

1. Don't expect too much in the way of IOP if your resemble her grandfather.
2. Don't get too close with anyone in the hobby lest you get dragged into a situation that's hard to get out of.

Having mentors probably paid off for you in a positive way that others had to learn the hard way, through flat out bad experiences.

So it appears that for the men who have responded the sexual experiences - and this includes fetishes and the such - is what drives them to the hobby, and not just the experience but the experience with a different girl or a girl that fits their particular type.

Iron Butterfly said -If not for the hobby I would be chasing ladies and settling for what I could get (being honest) and that would just lead to getting into more trouble then life should have.

Don't sell yourself short as I'm sure with some effort you could get that girl you want, and one that is sexually equal to your needs. Of course if you don't want to be monogamous with that girl then I can see you getting into trouble.

[Iron Butterfly]

Originally Posted by illuminati

Having mentors probably paid off for you in a positive way that others had to learn the hard way, through flat out bad experiences.

So it appears that for the men who have responded the sexual experiences - and this includes fetishes and the such - is what drives them to the hobby, and not just the experience but the experience with a different girl or a girl that fits their particular type.



Don't sell yourself short as I'm sure with some effort you could get that girl you want, and one that is sexually equal to your needs. Of course if you don't want to be monogamous with that girl then I can see you getting into trouble.

Meant falling in love trouble

IB

[Guest032117]

It pays the bills, & I have a great time. Yes.

[shlonghaul]

Indeed, a wide variety of new ladies to meet and no need to maintain a relationships=Awesome!

[illuminati]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

It pays the bills, & I have a great time. Yes.

True, and where can one get paid up to $400/hour in the real world while having a great time? Some providers make a whole lot more than those working in fast food or basic administrative jobs, and it goes to my point that money is probably one of the driving forces behind the choice to enter this line of work.

I can honestly say that 99% of the girls on ECCIE can - and probably do - get laid out in the real world without much hassle. It is easier for these attractive women to find sexual companionship. A girl can walk into a bar and either get the guy the she wants or get a guy that is good enough for the night. Guys, on the other hand, do not have it as easy since women are not horndogs salivating every time a woman walks into a bar. So why not get paid while getting laid.

[Shuttleman]

Originally Posted by illuminati

True, and where can one get paid up to $400/hour in the real world while having a great time? Some providers make a whole lot more than those working in fast food or basic administrative jobs, and it goes to my point that money is probably one of the driving forces behind the choice to enter this line of work.

I can honestly say that 99% of the girls on ECCIE can - and probably do - get laid out in the real world without much hassle. It is easier for these attractive women to find sexual companionship. A girl can walk into a bar and either get the guy the she wants or get a guy that is good enough for the night. Guys, on the other hand, do not have it as easy since women are not horndogs salivating every time a woman walks into a bar. So why not get paid while getting laid.

Agree that many of these ladies are attractive enough to get a guy for their sexual gratification. (I'm reminded of various jokes correlating the number of drinks a guys had to the looks of the woman he is attracted to.) The things about Eccie, P411, etc., that are attractive to us hobbyists may also be attractive to the providers: no strings (and minimal drama), some assurance that the person you are going BCD with is not going to mistreat you, or worse. Plus, the ladies come out in front financially.

[illuminati]

Beer goggles were quite frequently used by me in my youth.

[Shuttleman]

Originally Posted by illuminati

Beer goggles were quite frequently used by me in my youth.

That's when you wake the next morning and say, "WTF"!

[sunspots]

At first when I started hobbying in Austin it Austin it was great.. had a great time...has gone downhill for me .... harder to make appointments at times I want mainly