Emotionally Compromised

[Miss Valentina]

Aint no cryin' in trickin'.

[illuminati]

Good conversation.

[JennsLolli]

[The Allnighter]

[Zerox]

Haha now the burns come.

I'm a little wiser for this. I'm with what someone said earlier. I'm just going to enjoy the ride and not really worry about what's behind the curtain. That's what this hobby is about and I lost sight of that. I didn't get played because this inherently is the game. I got mine and she got hers.

[Guest010218]

We have all been through this and need to remember there are boundaries and NSA does rule. Only if she tells you otherwise, and then take that with a grain of salt.

I forget the above about every six month and put my heart out there only to find out I was wrong. Our hobby and playtime, their business. Their job is to make us forget it is business and often they do the same for a while, but when the chips are down, they need to get back to business basics if a hobbyist crosses the line too far.

There can be true passion on the part of both parties, but remember it is her business and her passion just means she enjoys her work, which is something we all strive for in our jobs. She may also really like you but she still needs to work for a living--don't cross over and cause issues.

Learn to work it so no one gets their feelings hurt--including you. I have messed up some in past, but am working to improve and not do same going forward.

[nuglet]

Look at it from this angle.. Technically, she's an employee, even worse, a sub Contractor.. so any time spent doing YOUR bidding, is time that should be paid.. Would you (meaning anyone here) take a few days off, unpaid, to accompany your boss on a trip, and during the trip, you're still at his (or her) bidding.. ? I think not.. Not trying to be harsh, but trying to "romance" your way into a 3-4-5 day session for just the travel costs is probably not going to work.. NOW, with your SO, wife, etc, (Who's bills your ARE PAYING) it's a different program and taking them with you isn't a net LOSS for them.. Jus' saying.

[VictoriaLyn]

Zerox.... I'm sorry that you're dealing with this and hurting... I get it.. last year I let myself become emotionally compromised with a hobbyist... while it didn't all play out on the board.. last July it led to one of the most devastating things in my life.. and I will never ever ever allow myself to be emotionally open to compromise ever again.. I hope you don't end up where I'm at now and you can find some peace in the end

[Miss Valentina]

If by "getting hers" you mean Deez Nutz and lots of $$$ yeah, she's getting hers.

You haven't shown her doing anything remotely wrong for you to wish a comeuppance on her. She's an escort who made the reasonable assumption a CLIENT would pay her a reasonable fee for an exorbitant amount of time.

You asked for the time and settled on the exchange. Then you completely reneged and changed the terms of the agreement. The fact that you're here to talk about it and not melting in a boiling cauldron of glass in some Austin back alleyway means, well I don't know what it means, but it probably means something.

You were silly enough to think a professional woman should forgo considerable recompense to pay attention to you and ur dick because "ur feelz". Riiighht...

[Spartan1117]

Victoria Ly - sorry to hear that baby

[Zerox]

So I think the exact narrative is getting muddled here. We had never agreed to anything, just had discussions, I never really reneged on anything. I had sent her an e-mail detailing out a lot of things I think she'd like to do based upon her interests, and I also included a rate and the caveat that all expenses would be covered. She responded back with an amount that I couldn't cover...even though it was tempting and sent her my sincere apology that I couldn't. She responds back that I know her availability.

No hard plans ever forged. And I get the whole "boss" analogy, but I guess from my perspective we had so much do together, had talked about this possibility I just thought she was looking forward to a good time as well. Obviously I was wrong, felt and believed things to be there that weren't, and feel like a fool...and here we are.

And I don't hold a vendetta or ill feelings to her...this was just a reality check. I actually wish her nothing but the best and thin anyone looking for a good one should definitely see her because I honestly believe she is a sweetheart, and I enjoyed out time together. Maybe not as much as before, but I still love that feeling of companionship that I was allowed, even if it was brief and fading.

I'm really sorry to hear your story too Victoria Lyn. Thankfully I don't think I went down the rabbit hole enough to have that kind of emotional damage, just a sting of requited emotion. If you don't mind me asking how did you handle it, and do you feel better for it?

[Homegrown512]

Originally Posted by Miss Valentina

Aint no cryin' in trickin'.

Um, you forgot the "brah," which is my favorite part of that line...

I almost quoted you on this thread with that exact line yesterday, but I didn't want to rub you the wrong way.

Xerox, in my opinion you will need to remember the distinction between passion and emotion. It sounds like there was some obvious passion going on during yalls session, and several ladies here have confirmed that real passion can and does exist during sessions. But it's your job to remember that passion doesn't equal emotions. Protect yourself, and remember what was mentioned previously that if there was something more there, she'll let you know.

I think this has been a great thread and applaud your honesty, so thank you for putting it out there.

[JJones]

Everyone probably goes through this if they are in the hobby long enough. When you are confronted with the truth, it does hurt for both the ladies and the guys.

Just go on with your life, and know that for a short while she did such a good job with IOP that you couldn't tell if it was real or not. She sounds like a nice lady.

[Zerox]

I know you mean well by your comment JJones...but I think that's actually why I feel as bad as I do because I feel like I was stupid enough to buy into something that most with common sense would know to see through.

[Iron Butterfly]

Expireiance my friend.

Some day you will be consoling another hobbiest that fell astray.


IB