twas the night before jimmie jesus birthday
...when all through the shithouse
...not a jimmie was stirring except ol mary forcing an oriental to comply
...the rubbers were hung by the crapper with care
...in hopes plastic man soon would be there
...the jimmies were snuggled all warm in their beds
...while visions of pt riddled snatch danced in their heads
...when out in the alley there arose such a clatter
...the jimmies sprang from their beds to see what the fuck was the matter
...away to the window they flew like a flash
...the moon on the tits of the new fallen snow
...made shit look like it was daytime below
...when what to jimmie eyes should appear
...but mouncers bimmer with eight tiny hos
...the jimmies knew in a moment it must be jolly plastic man!
...and he whistled and shouted and called them hos by name
...now sab now chloe now trisha and lee
...climb onto frankie onto deedee onto aj and big ol lexxxy
...now lick away lick away lick away all
...then the jimmies did hear on the roof
...the pissing and moaning of each little funnel
...down the shitters chimney plastic man came with a bound
...he was dressed all in pimp fur from his head to his foot
...a bundle of looted junk from ferguson was flung on his back
...he said fuck you all then went straight to his work
...there were gifts for the jimmies and given with love
...a treadmill for fat paulie
...a new walker for buffalo mummy
...a bottle of schnapps for jimmy cap the ol rummy
...boney got shells for his 45 acp
...jj a bucket of kfc
...and a retards crash helmet for osd
...for brave rodeo burger a medal that read
..."thanks fer yer service while layin in bed"
...then a book for greenpeace on how to wish people dead
... there was a fresh bag of dingle berries for goat
...and for dovlin a signed photo of obama that said "hi doof i done fucked yo mama"
...finally the mods all got coal to shove up their asses
...plastic man finished his work then turned with a jerk
...and cupping a hand around his sack up the chimney he rose
...he sprung to his sleigh and bitch slapped his hos
...away they all flew like shit through a goose
...the jimmies heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
...happy jesus to all and to all a gold dildo up the jimmie hole tonight!
twas the night before
