Hanging Chads and other horror stories

[Guest022718]

Hanging Chad:
Synonyms: Grundle weeds, cling-ons, butt bark, The Lone Ranger, crap crumbs
Definition: Stubborn pieces of turd that cling to the anal hairs and refuse to let go.

Ladies, don't you just hate it when a guy leaves skidmarks on your sheets? Or when his balls are covered in sweat-cheese?

I had a dinner date with a provider who excused herself at the restaurant to visit the little girls room. Afterwards, during playtime, she climbed on board for a mustache ride. As I'm licking, I'm finding little balls of toiletpaper in my mouth.

So, in the interest of promoting outstanding hygiene in our hobby world:

Guys? Gals? Give us your hygiene horror stories!

[Cayenne123]

I just un-ate lunch, through my mouth. Time for body lamination

[borisbaggins]

Oh you sweet talkin' wordsmith, grits. You had me at grundle weeds.
Sorry no horror stories to share though- fortunately.

[Netx9]

Damn, grits.... Given the title, I thought this was a political thread!

[Phunster]

Back in the swinging 80s, when one-night-stands were pretty common, I picked up this young lady at a local watering hole. Very pretty, very well-endowed. One thing led to another, and we retired to her bedroom. Upon revealing herself, I noticed a noxious stench coming from between her loins. So bad that I got nauseous, and i generally have a strong stomach. Like a skunk had crawled in there and died. The smell was horrible, but i was in my 20s and could tolerate such unpleasantness if it meant getting my rocks off.

Later one, upon returning home, I had to put my tightie whities in a plastic bag and throw them away. Hit the shower immediately and prayed that no STD was going to befall me within the next few days.

[Guest041817]

I had a client once leave a crazy skid mark on my bed then when he gets up he looked at me like I did it and all I could say was really right now?? On my bed?? I shower on a regular basis and I expect my client to be just as respectful and do that same.

[Ms.Lady Y]

With the stuff I do, well lets just say there are to many to mention. You get use to it!

[Marcus Aurelius]

I fucked a flight attendant in the left rear lav in a DC-10 at 35k feet. When we were done I pulled my dick out and it was covered in cheese. I said "WTF?" And she said "I've had panty hose on all day it's normal."

[huskerman23]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

I fucked a flight attendant in the left rear lav in a DC-10 at 35k feet. When we were done I pulled my dick out and it was covered in cheese. I said "WTF?" And she said "I've had panty hose on all day it's normal."

in your dream

[borisbaggins]

So Marcus, was that on SwissAir?

Pay no attention to the gremlin on the wing...

[Marcus Aurelius]

It was Northwest AL from DTM to MSP. And it was not in a dream. The lead FA helped us keep discreet in the act.

[DallasRain]

GAWD DAMN!!!! lol

That is why I try to give each gent a bubblebath before our playtime!
{and since I have BIG pu&&y lips....I keep wet wipes handy and am very careful to stay clean down there}