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phaedrus · 10-01-2014, 09:10 AM

Anyone have any blonde jokes to share?

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

TravelingTex · 10-01-2014, 09:53 AM

How does a blonde change a lightbulb?
She just holds up the lightbulb and the world revolves around her.

stevejones1969 · 10-01-2014, 10:28 AM

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: How do you know which blonde gives the best blow job?
A: Word of Mouth.

Q: What's the difference between the wind and a blonde?
A: Some days the wind doesn't blow.

Q: Why did they call the blonde "Twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyones has been in a blonde

Q: How are they alike?
A: They both have black boxes.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip-code on her thigh?
A: She wanted a lot of male in her box.

Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop

Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: Who cares?

Q: Why did god give blonde's 2 more brain cells than he gave cows?
A: So they wouldn't shit all over when you play with their tits.

Q: Why can't blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees?
A: Come.

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blowjob with handlebars

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"

Q: How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex?
A: She opens the car door.

AND FINALLY

Q: You know what's hotter than a blonde?
A: ABSOLUTELY nothing.

I know more but tired of writing. Ta Da

JennsLolli · 10-01-2014, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevejones1969

Q: How do you know which blonde gives the best blow job?
A: Word of Mouth.

I see you've read my reviews...

TravelingTex · 10-01-2014, 05:25 PM

On the crowded plane, the beautiful blonde had an economy ticket but sat down in first class and refused to move. She announced, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm flying to Las Vegas in first class." The flight attendants tried to reason with her, no help. That's all she said, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm flying to Las Vegas in first class." If they called the cops, the flight would never get off the ground. Finally the co-pilot said, "I'm married to a blonde, let me."

He whispered something in her ear, she smiled and thanked him, and quietly took her seat in economy. The attendants were amazed, and asked the obvious question. "Oh, I told her that the first-class section isn't going to Las Vegas, only the economy section."

dog soldier 4 · 10-02-2014, 12:04 AM

What do you call a brunet between two blonds?

Interpreter !

stevejones1969 · 10-02-2014, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennsLolli

I see you've read my reviews...

I have and actually the very last question was the one in reference to you.

Side note: I screwed up one of those jokes.

Q: Whats the difference between a 747 and a blonde?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

JennsLolli · 10-02-2014, 05:38 PM

Rarr!

knotty man · 10-02-2014, 07:00 PM

damn! i just wanna see whats under that cardinals jersey
...and yes, i have perved your showcase many many times. but, im a "hands on" kinda guy

stevejones1969 · 10-02-2014, 09:37 PM

Tits. There are Tits under that jersey. But it's what is inside that is really attractive.

knotty man · 10-02-2014, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevejones1969

Tits. There are Tits under that jersey. But it's what is inside that is really attractive.

MILK ?

JennsLolli · 10-04-2014, 05:14 PM

...if only there were some easy way to find out. If only.

(no milk, goddammit!)

RandB fan · 10-04-2014, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennsLolli

...if only there were some easy way to find out. If only.

(no milk, goddammit!)

I hope you like blue...

stevejones1969 · 10-05-2014, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandB fan

I hope you like blue...

BINGO!!!! My favorite look. The short tee with under boob. I would pay to just sit in the living room and watch a chick walk around wearing that. So frikin hot. (do you think I like this look?) DAMN RIGHT. More pics, more pics, more pics.

RandB fan · 10-05-2014, 09:42 AM

enjoy