During my time in the hobby, especially before BT when Wildflowers and Escape were shut down, I had met every provider I saw at different socials. So I knew who I was seeing before the fact.
After BT, I still knew most of the ladies, but not like before. So I counted on reviews (this was before ECCIE and totally ASPD) that guys wrote. I had read several reviews on a lady who I had never met, but counted on her reviews as being accurate. It was known that she was a BBW, but on the smaller side. Again, her reviews were 'glowing'.
I've never considered myself to be hard on a ladies look. Since I've never been confused with Brad Pitt, who am I to really judge? So, in this context, I've always seen some sort of beauty in all of the girls.
Back to the provider with glowing reviews. I made my way to her apt. and didn't really know what to expect. I knocked on the door and she answers.
I almost fainted. This lady was a freaking beast. I'm fixing to pay for 'this'? She should fucking be paying me.
What to do?
I went in and she went to the bathroom to do whatever she did in the bathroom. During this time, I'm collecting my thoughts. I didn't want to leave because I took my chances and it wasn't her fault she wasn't attractive.
So I put myself in a situation where I'm the provider. I pretended I was a gigolo just to see if I could complete the deal. I'm normally a two bell guy, but not in this case. There was no bed, just a massage table and a chair. Doggy was on the menu and from the back, I just imagined I was with Italia or somebody else. Eyes closed, just wanting to nut and be done. I had mentally separated myself from what was going on. Finally I nutted, and a weak one at that. She wondered if everything was OK. I just told her I left my little blue pill, which I've never used, at home. I hugged her and made it out of the door.
Actually this session led me to a couple of thoughts.
First of all, when walking through the mall or somewhere else, I can see some very unattractive lady and say to myself 'I've done worse' and laugh. Because I've done worse........
The second is this. In my early days of the hobby, say 1999-2003 or so, I was pretty much a 'bros before hoes' type of guy. I kind of changed my ways over the years, and I may have become more of a 'white knight' kind of guy. But that's OK. The session with the above unnamed lady, really solidified this. How many ladies have to get very intimate with guys they would rather not be in the same room with, or guys who're drunk, stoned, or unclean..........yet they have to pull it off like it's a good time. How many ladies are terrified the first time they meet some unknown guy, knowing they could rape and rob them? Or beat them up or kill them. I know this may seem to be extreme, but who really knows what they deal with on a daily basis, that we never know about or consider.
