Discouraged

[GneissGuy]

You mention Ted Bundy, and that's a good point. There are some people out there who are really smooth operators. They can be very charming in person, and get people to trust them easily. You should always keep these guys in mind.

However, I've been on these boards for 10 years now. I was a mod on another board for quite a while until I decided not to spend the amount of time it took. The vast majority of the bad actors couldn't hide their inner psycho. I spotted 90% of the bad actors within a few posts. Even fewer of them could hide it face to face.

There were a few bad actors (male or female) who could hide their dark side, but you could really improve the odds by paying attention to their posts if they post much. Or by meeting face to face.

[rockerrick]

GG makes a good point , except Ted Bundy charmed 30+ young ladies face to face . Always check references , and always have potential client PM you or send P411 request if you have it . I was just informed that a provider received a text from someone using my name ( misspelled of course ) to try and get an appt . As soon as I get the number from her I will post the alert , or she will . Thankfully she was unavailable . Be careful !

[Toyz]

This is some of the advice I give ladies (when asked). Normally if the guy has a few reviews & is active on here, he is legit and safe. If he is a lurker, maybe not so much. Tenure is big in my book. If a guy has been here for a year or multi years under the same name, he likely doesn't want to risk the bad reputation that can come from so many things, ergo he should be relatively safe.

Doing the cold call BP thing to me is like inviting a potential murderer or rapist into your house for coffee....If I were a provider, I'd screen your ass off before having that first meeting...

I know I've had girls call other girls and ask about me, which I encourage the practice. Best screening is lady to lady.

[MARICOPA]

Originally Posted by Toyz

This is some of the advice I give ladies (when asked). Normally if the guy has a few reviews & is active on here, he is legit and safe. If he is a lurker, maybe not so much. Tenure is big in my book. If a guy has been here for a year or multi years under the same name, he likely doesn't want to risk the bad reputation that can come from so many things, ergo he should be relatively safe.

Doing the cold call BP thing to me is like inviting a potential murderer or rapist into your house for coffee....If I were a provider, I'd screen your ass off before having that first meeting...

I know I've had girls call other girls and ask about me, which I encourage the practice. Best screening is lady to lady.

Lady to lady screening does sound like the best way to convey accurate assessment of a guys intentions, just not sure how many of them are doing it.

[GneissGuy]

Good points all.

Don't assume it's me (or Roderrick) unless you exchange a PM on eccie.

If some lady you trust says Roderrick is a good guy, that doesn't mean that's who you're talking to.

You can really tell a lot about a guy or girl in person or by reading their posts, but you just improve the odds, you're never 100% safe with any screening process.

As I used to say when I was a mod, just because a lady gave good service to the last 9 guys she's seen, she could kill and eat every 10th client and we'd never know about it.

One of the nastiest local pimps we had had girls who gave really good service to most guys, but every so often Dr. Jekyll would pop up.

Also, if you get a contact from "Roderrick," check the spelling. 8-)

[Guest032117]

Originally Posted by GneissGuy

Good points all.

Don't assume it's me (or Roderrick) unless you exchange a PM on eccie.

If some lady you trust says Roderrick is a good guy, that doesn't mean that's who you're talking to.

Also, if you get a contact from "Roderrick," check the spelling. 8-)

The hard-on for RR is strong with this one...

[Secret_Amore]

First off I would just like to say YAY I got VP! Woot!
since I'm not allowed to comment on my own review I could like to take the time here to state a few inaccuracies.

1.) JJones' Review
I Do NOT have dreads (never worn dreads in my Life!). it is my personal opinion that dreads look like worms coming out of your head. Eeeek! my own grandmother has dreads I love that woman but sometimes she looks like Predator!
Attachment 219919

this is what dreads look like on a black person. (Don't EVEN get me started on white people dreads! Eeeew!)
Attachment 219918

This is what I look like. I realize that it a common mistake for a white males who doesn't know much about black women hair to call my hairstyle "Dreads" for the Record they are twisty or kinky twist (depending on the hair) see how my hair in in Twist Not dreads.
Attachment 219917

*clears throat* Had to crop that picture because I had something in my mouth in you know what I mean

also my hair is most definitely NOT yellow! ???? o.O when I read that I was like are you serious!!! like its blonde have you SEEN yellow hair?
Attachment 219916 Attachment 219915

so when the words "yellow dreads" are use to describe my appearance I get a lil offended. I don't want anyone getting the impression my hair looks like this
Attachment 219912
instead of this.
Attachment 219920
-Appearance I'm 5'5 not 5'7 (I wish) but god must have known I was going to want to be tall in life so he decided to taunt me 'cause technically i'm literally 5'4 3/4 like really i'm a quarter of an inch below 5'5 like why couldn't you just give me that quarter??? o.O anyways I will alway say 5'5 screw that measuring board i'm 5'5 with gym shoes so there
-activities I only want to add there was cuddling, hugs and convo it was a very nice gfe date

2.)bobu Review he accidelnlty submitted 2. silly guy
there were a few mistakes in this one
like...
-My hair was not black when he saw me and definitely not straight.
my hair hasn't been black/dark brown in a long while, only when I'm in between colors/hairstyles.
my hair isn't straight its curly blonde
-very slim/Athletic <-haha yea I wish I have more of an average body type and a lil "baby" fat which for some reason makes like every guy who sees men wanna ask if I have kids! >_> I just wanna say no I'm just fat. I am 22 years old and I have NEVER been pregnant ok. I just have a little stomach pooch. even my mom has been known to ask if I'm pregnant because of it >: ( mostly she'll just say I'm getting fat or I use to be so skinny. god forbid I weigh over 130. and america wonders why so many young girls are literally starving themselves to be skinny. you dun have a flat stomach oh must be a mommy or must be getting fat. If a man has a beer gut people don't go around asking him if he drinks too much while sitting on the couch.
-age 23 actually I'm 22 my birthday is in November
-activities they were accurate except we hadn't actually gotten to any light bondage
-Date May 13th

anyways here is my Award acceptance speech
I want to thank my mom and dad for bow chicka wow wow-ing me into existence
I want to thank the 2 gentlemen who were kind enough to write my review and giving me a chance
I want to thank God for making me 5' 4 3/4 even though he knew I wanted to be 5'7
*this is the part where I get all choked up*
and I want to thank ALL of you for the love and support you've shown, I couldn't have done it without you! (and your bonners)

May the force be with you Obi Wan

[Secret_Amore]

Originally Posted by rockerrick

GG makes a good point , except Ted Bundy charmed 30+ young ladies face to face. Always check references , and always have potential client PM you or send P411 request if you have it . I was just informed that a provider received a text from someone using my name ( misspelled of course ) to try and get an appt . As soon as I get the number from her I will post the alert , or she will . Thankfully she was unavailable . Be careful !

yes Ted Bundy was a smooth one. you know he says watching porn started him down his path... o.o

I wonder if providers ever get impersonated? o.O I mean aside from maybe having their pics stole by some BP girl.

Originally Posted by rockerrick

Always check references

did you know there are cases where some girls give a bad reference just so they won't lose their business of their (ATF)client to another girl they are trying to see. :O crazy huh. I've heard about incidents like this from other providers. some girls just be a little too naughty

I will be careful. ^_^

Originally Posted by rockerrick

GG makes a good point , except Ted Bundy charmed 30+ young ladies face to face. Always check references , and always have potential client PM you or send P411 request if you have it . I was just informed that a provider received a text from someone using my name ( misspelled of course ) to try and get an appt . As soon as I get the number from her I will post the alert , or she will . Thankfully she was unavailable . Be careful !

yes Ted Bundy was a smooth one. you know he says watching porn started him down his path... o.o

I wonder if providers ever get impersonated? o.O I mean aside from maybe having their pics stole by some BP girl.

Originally Posted by rockerrick

Always check references

did you know there are cases where some girls give a bad reference just so they won't lose their business of their (ATF)client to another girl they are trying to see. :O crazy huh. I've heard about incidents like this from other providers. some girls just be a little too naughty

I will be careful. ^_^

Originally Posted by GneissGuy

Good points all.
As I used to say when I was a mod, just because a lady gave good service to the last 9 guys she's seen, she could kill and eat every 10th client and we'd never know about it.

One of the nastiest local pimps we had, had girls who gave really good service to most guys, but every so often Dr. Jekyll would pop up.

Also, if you get a contact from "Roderrick," check the spelling. 8-)

lol "she could kill and eat every 10th client and we'd never know about it. " sounds like something out of a sfi horror movie. what she a black widow?? o.O

I always worry about a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide scenario T_T a guy could sound real nice even had references.....but you Never Know!

just like with some ladies some gents go bad. :/ the dark side has cookies, so I hear.

[johnny punk guy]

No one told me that they had cookies. Thanks for letting me know. Now pondering allegiance.

Johnny

[Kit-4-Kat]

What's this I'm seeing? A sense of COMMUNITY! :-) Fucking Awesome! I'm really happy to read some good threads with no baiting, sniping and rudeness. THAT'S what discouraged me in the hobby. It's hard to get past the negativity after a while if you're genuinely interested in the people who make up your world. PLEASE keep it going! Years ago, Austin was the forum with the close-knit scene and fun, flirty banter. Houston had most of the drama and flaming. Things change, butstudied one would hope more effort directed toward GOOD changes.

(Happy sigh)

Secret Amor - love your handle! Like you, I'm honest and trusting to a fault, but I've got a pretty savvy biz mind when focused. My entre to the hobby did include a provider mentor with great demeanor and flow. I joined her on some appts to get a fmemberseel for what was expected, etc... That was great for bcd, but she was not yet tech savvy. I was a CL ad poster for only about six weeks. Once I found aspd, the first hobby site of its kind in Texas when launched, I checked out many diff provider's sites, noted a trend in rare-escort as a host, chose a handle (KatnAustin), created an email account, set up my free site ( Man, I do miss my site, as do lots of fellas! lol), and started posting my thoughts to topics of interest. I had a good following already unbeknownst to me. Some prominent members had interest from back channels (referrals, basically) and although there was some friction from a GRUMPY ASS MOD, the funny mod who mentored me early on helped push through my VP status AND give me an invite to a social that same week.

Now, THAT was another eye-opener. Color me stupid, but I was already in awe of my popularity cuz I was not a skinny, busty, blonde just out of her teens. I was a 5'2.5" 38 yr old redhead weighing 140. (I carry it well! lol) I was really impressed with proof that there are diff girls for diff tastes. Go figure! When you're the "new flavor" the attention is a wonderful ego and confidence booster. My newbie rush lasted almost three fabulous years.

The most important factors:

1. Consistency - only offer what you want to deliver
2. Be genuine - YOU, not some contrived persona. It attracts and retains repeat biz because the client got what he expected
3. TCB- quick, courteous and complete response to inquiries, easy scheduling, on time, great sessions
4. Participate via thoughtful, informative comments so your substance stands out. Nobody will scream threAD when you are a strong poster. You and I are OBVIOUSLY detail- oriented I.e. LONG-WINDED. Hard to change that overnight, if ever! lol
5. Avoid board drama! Gawd, I hate BS F'G rumor starters and shit talkers. Don't get sucked into he said, she said crap. It stays with you - true or not.

That's enough from me. I got shit to do! :-)

Well, one lady thing.

[GneissGuy]

Originally Posted by Secret_Amore

First off I would just like to say YAY I got VP! Woot!

Welcome. I've been rooting for you, but haven't gotten a chance to see you in person yet.

Originally Posted by Secret_Amore

yea I wish I have more of an average body type and a lil "baby" fat which for some reason makes like every guy who sees men wanna ask if I have kids! >_> I just wanna say no I'm just fat. I am 22 years old and I have NEVER been pregnant ok.

You've got to learn the jargon, my dear. In the hobby world, "fat" means "can't see her toes without a mirror."

And, unfortunately, "average" IS fat in current day America.

Best to just list height and weight and leave it at that. For that matter, list any vital stats you want on your showcase and the smart guys will quote that if they agree.

[Kit-4-Kat]

Evidently, I didn't shut up quick enough because my phone's keyboard quit working! lol. Wouldn't let me correct that last line, so, here it is...

One last personal comment... It's very easy to go from popular, respected and valued member to feeling forgotten when your community loses unity. It's painful to hear second-hand that so and so is bad- mouthing you after you went out of your way to help at their request... etc... Kid stuff, Yep.... Guys believe the girl they see FIRST. They may never give other ladies a thought because of it. Rumors are ugly things to spread. I tell people, there is no question you can ask me that I will not attempt to answer... honestly. Still trying to figure out that boundaries thing. You represent a business first and foremost. Clients have a right to express concerns and request confirmation to assist in their decision. Hopefully, they do so respectfully and with willingness to accept your response as honest. Being direct may rub some folks the wrong way, but I much prefer to cut to the chase and not play games.

There will always be favoritism especially in the hobby. Try not to let the bias get you down. Enjoy the high points and put the BS behind you and MOVE ON! It's been hell trying to regain my eternal optimism, goofy humor, and comfort level after going UTR, having a baby, trying to get back in the saddle and feeling forgotten, misjudged or washed up. My stellar TCB suffered as my personal demons - mid-life crisis, empty-nester, caretaker with nobody to care for ( but me, but that's no fun) - grew into depression and eventually room down this strong and independent woman who practiced integrity, was honest to a fault, and felt a duty to give unconditional love and respect to my clients. I understand the dangerous power we ladies have to easily harm a man's psyche when he is exposing his vulnerable need for intimacy and acceptance. It's a two-way street, Fellas. Mutual consideration is tantamount to maintain openness in an intimate encounter.

My hope is to see this practiced GLOBALLY, UNIVERSALLY. ( keywords, heh)

IOW... PLAY NICE!!! :-)

Build that positive energy momentum! Love you, guys & gals. Miss my hobby family despite my rare involvement. Feels better having gotten some of this out. Sorry it took so long if you were curious and if not, sorry if you were compelled to waste your time reading my novella.

Ciao for now! I could be back again! :-)
XOXOX
Kat

[GneissGuy]

Originally Posted by Secret_Amore

I wonder if providers ever get impersonated? o.O I mean aside from maybe having their pics stole by some BP girl.

Yes, in several ways.

Sometimes outright impersonation, including name and picture. Can be just a simple ID theft, or anything up to robbery attempts.

Sometimes just the name or a similar name, then feigning innocence that they didn't know there was another lady with the same name.

Some agencies or pimps use a well known name, then claim "Typhoid Mary isn't available right now, why don't you see her friend Crazy Carla? She looks a lot like Mary." Lots of agencies will continue to use a lady's name and pics this way long after she leaves. Even some of the less evil agencies will do with this.

There are sites that "scrape" ads from other web sites and repost them, usually without changing the name, phone, or contact info. These "ads" stay up for months or years after the lady has left the business. Yet another reason to only use hobby phones, watermark your pictures, be careful about your pictures, etc.

[sue_nami]

Kit 4 Kat, thanks for all the warm, wise and generous advice. I must say, you are very sweet to take the time to share your experience and I appreciate it. I can tell you're a smart and caring woman, I hope we get to meet some day. Thanks for sharing.

[Luvdatpuddy]

Take this with a large grain of salt...I am a long time lurker...I think a total of ONE review in the new system. Definitely, my expertise is far below many others on this board (as well as credibility). However, I can tell you what would drive me to choose one lady over another:
1) Decent reviews (yes, I know it has been mentioned before regarding the difficulty of "getting started"). Maybe not many, but enough for me to know she is who she advertises to be, as long as it is not from a known white knight.
2) Good showcase, which, yes, for me, has to include face pics. I understand why MANY ladies are reticent to do that, and I respect it. But for me, a face that I find attractive can, in many ways, be the deal-maker or breaker. I might choose a lady with a body that is less along the lines of what is now socially accepted as beautiful if I find her face really attractive to me.
3) Newbie friendly - this is probably something that appeals to a subset of the community. My issue is that I do not think I'm a bad guy, and have never robbed a lady or shorted her (nor am I abusive in any way)...but the requirement that a lot of ladies have for recent reviews and verification rule me out. Plenty of decent folks out there that would probably partake...but probably plenty of creeps, too.
4) Attractive list of services - I have knocked many ladies off of my "to-do" list because the services they offer are not expansive enough for me. Again, opinions vary even on this board about this, but for me, cbj is a deal-breaker.