Welcome to ECCIE - Sign up today!

jackson12345 · 03-13-2013, 02:21 PM

Greetings fellow hobbyists and providers,
Let's put it all out there...I am a black man! I am not a pimp, not a thug, I have a legit well paying job, college educated, and I still get discriminated in the hobby! It is frustrating to get hung up on, told no, and sometimes cussed out because of the color of my skin! This is 2013 and we still have this going on???? This not only angers me but it also saddens me. I thought we have come so far...

KenMonk · 03-13-2013, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackson12345

Greetings fellow hobbyists and providers,
Let's put it all out there...I am a black man! I am not a pimp, not a thug, I have a legit well paying job, college educated, and I still get discriminated in the hobby! It is frustrating to get hung up on, told no, and sometimes cussed out because of the color of my skin! This is 2013 and we still have this going on???? This not only angers me but it also saddens me. I thought we have come so far...

While I agree its every ladies individual right to choose who they visit with, I disagree with you being disrespected and/or cussed out. Its a sad truth, but its a stereotype that has been around a long time, and I don't believe it will change any time soon.

Ladies should just decline, and leave it at that if that is how they feel. However, the reasons are up for speculation. Some theories, regardless of how silly they are goes like this:

The lady has a black boyfriend, or pimp if you wannt call him that, and the boyfriend doesn't believe any white douche can take his lady from him, but he fears her falling for a black guy so he demands no black guys are to be seen.

Pimp doesn't want his ho being taken by another pimp, and the stereotype is pimp ='s black guy, when in fact there are white, mexican, asian, other latin, and even smurf pimps.

Ladies believe the stereotype of all black guys have huge dongs, and they fear the big dongers.

Some ladies just aren't physically attracted to black guys. Some aren't attracted to other races as well, I save seen ladies state no latins in ads before, but saying no black guys tends to be the more popular discriminated group.

Some ladies have a white boyfriend/pimp, and they also fear the black man will take his lady away. Same could be said of ladies with boyfriends of other races. For some reason non-black guys have this thing in there head that the black man will sweep their lady off her feet and take her home to meet the parents.

I have seen ladies of all races state no black men, even black ladies, so its not always just a white racist thing. The point is, there is a right and a wrong way to handle it as a black hobbyist.

The best advice I can offer is to not get angry and hound a lady over it. It most likely will turn other ladies off to you. Sadly, its one of those things you kinda just have to accept. Continue to be you, be a nice guy and continue to build your rep as a respected and honest gentlemen and some of those ladies who said no in the past will change their mind and see you. I have seen it done this way before.

There have been several threads over this throughout the history of SHMBs, there is an NBA super thread on national as well. Keep your head up man and keep going. I wish you the best of luck and you can always vent to friends via PM.

gary5912 · 03-13-2013, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackson12345

Greetings fellow hobbyists and providers,
Let's put it all out there...I am a black man! I am not a pimp, not a thug, I have a legit well paying job, college educated, and I still get discriminated in the hobby! It is frustrating to get hung up on, told no, and sometimes cussed out because of the color of my skin! This is 2013 and we still have this going on???? This not only angers me but it also saddens me. I thought we have come so far...

Stings when that race card is played and its not in your favor, not trying to be disrespectful but it seems to be the norm these days, look how the man in the White House plays the race card,

just my 2 cents

Emmie · 03-13-2013, 06:49 PM

Honey, as a provider I don't understand it myself! Equal Opportunity for All I say!!!

mexmex50 · 03-13-2013, 06:57 PM

Jackson there's racism all over these days not just in the hobby. My dad went through it in the 50's and I've went through it all my life that's just the way it is . It's sad.

bistraight69 · 03-13-2013, 07:13 PM

No Black Men(NBA) http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=203311&highlight=

b4life · 03-13-2013, 08:07 PM

Its sort of sad because people don't realize how they've been programmed to react to people that are different.

Johnny4455 · 03-13-2013, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gary5912

Stings when that race card is played and its not in your favor, not trying to be disrespectful but it seems to be the norm these days, look how the man in the White House plays the race card,

just my 2 cents

So Gary, you're telling this black man who is getting discriminated on based solely on his skin color that president Obama makes you feel the same pain?? Ok. I feel sorry for the op because he is right. In addition to the open 'no aa' in ads, I've personally heard a ton of discriminatory statements about black men from providers. My guess is the op has faced this shit in all aspects of his life since birth. Much different than whatever you feel when the president 'plays the race card'.. Whatever you mean by that.

BigDeal · 03-13-2013, 11:02 PM

Im white and still have a tough time getting a date!

Guest030817 · 03-13-2013, 11:08 PM

Damn Kenmonk- nailed it. So did Brooke Wild in the link.

When I see it I think midwest street mentality aka she has a pimp or insecure bf dictating how she operates. I understand if it really is personal preference but more often it's based on street walker rules. On the bright side, you rule out prejudiced women and the jealous, likely psycho men behind them.

There are a lot of things that I could come up with to discriminate against before any race. Safety screening schould be based on professionalism, references, class and reputation.
Any "strange" incidents that I have had involved Caucasian men.

Misawahawk · 03-13-2013, 11:17 PM

This will become less and less of a factor. If you come
off professional enough they would go through with the appointment. If they ask if your black tell them you Brasilian or Puerto Rican. I suspect the worry is that by experience some black people might have tried to discount the donation or asked for extras, or been slow to leave. Keep on rowing man!

redriverronin · 03-14-2013, 12:03 AM

Women don't like being beat robbed raped and kidnapped but said

Peter Devlin · 03-14-2013, 01:50 AM

We humans are a fearful bunch. Our culture, out of fear, has created a stereotypical young black male. This culture does still discriminate against all of the black population, but most significantly him. Just look at the statistics. There's about a twenty five percent chance he'll be incarcerated before he reaches twenty five. He is/has been feared/hated/discriminated against and his natural response is to demonstrate he doesn't give a fuck. Together, we've created a vicious cycle of fear, hatred, and violence.

Regardless of how he got that way, he is a thug and he is dangerous.

I think most of the ads with that stipulation are intending to avoid thugs. It's life in the culture. It sucks. I like to think we're growing up, slow as it is.

Meanwhile, OP, all you can do is be patient and communicate to whatever degree you can. Through dialogue with intended provider/s, just like anyone else, it will become obvious that you are not the feared stereotype, and you'll get where you want to go.

Kshunter · 03-14-2013, 08:40 AM

There's more to it than that. I've had more than one girl tell me that the reason that they won't see black guys is that the bullshit isn't worth the hassle. Said bullshit including:

The guy thinks he's so awesome that he shouldn't have to pay, or that he tries to get away without paying, or negotiating after showing up.

Pimps trying to recruit. This is particularly big with independent girls.

Violence.

And, that said, I'd have to say that most of the bullshit, unsatisfying, ripoff type experiences I've had in 20 years of hobbying have come from black women, to the extent that I won't even consider seeing one anymore unless they are highly and well reviewed - despite the fact that I find black women attractive and have had a couple of black GF's in the past.

Like it or not, stereotypes are based in some level of truth. The OP may be an awesome guy - but the stats say that 1 of every 3 young black men has been incarcerated for crimes by the time they're 35 or so. That's reality, not racism. And, given the sub rosa nature of this hobby, those odds probably go up, not down, when you consider black men who are seeking out escorts.

BigMikeinKC · 03-14-2013, 08:49 AM

When I see a no AA ad, I tend to cross them off my list. Sadly, the statement that they have a pimp seems to be true, from my experience.

In addition, I once new a girl who was afraid of seeing black guys because of "the myth." She was a small girl and was afraid she couldn't handle the size. Laughed my ass of and made her mad. Realized she didn't think I was too large and made me sad....