Quote:
Originally Posted by Calista_Syn
Bio, it's hard for you to understand the newbie perspective like I do, or a gent with no standing does, Hell, when I first saw you all I had to do is search your name here and I had countless interactions and reviews to go on. You're super easy to schedule with!
It's not hard to validate info these days, with a name, photo, and phone number, Google can find facebooks, work websites, twitters, spokeo can even give me residential info. I love dealing with first timer newbies, and they rarely even know what p411 is.. So that elusive element of trust must come from a status quo with personal info. I agree totally, for my juices to flow, trust has to be present.
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Au contraire Mon petit...
It was not so long ago that I was a married man, and I never once violated my "sacred vows" and remained faithful to my marriage. After the divorce, I was left with a teenager to raise and at the same time was trying to pick up the pieces of our lives. I focused on making the teens life as normal as possible and ensured that the teen made it through at least High School. Fast forward to where the teen has completed school and is on their own. Now I could focus on living for me.
I found myself one day looking at ASPD and discovered the world of the Hobby. I read the board a number of times before becoming brave enough to register and pick a screen name. It took me a good while to venture forth and make my first post. It got better and easier each time. At the same time I was establishing trust with the other board members. The trust was forged by interacting with both the Hobbyists and the Providers. In time I found myself to be brave enough to approach one of the lovely Ladies in Indiana and see if we might be able to spend some quality time together.
She asked that we speak on the phone, and I was as nervous as an 8th grade boy asking a girl to dance for the first time. I spoke with this provider (Lappis Lazulli, and she did have the most beautiful blue eyes) for maybe 5 minutes about nothing important, and then she asked "When would you like to get together?" Mind you I had no reviews and had not seen my first provider...yet.
I asked her what screening information she needed, and her reply stunned me. She said, "None! In talking with you, you were the same as you are on the board." "I feel like I can trust you." At that moment; I had been screened and to this day I consider myself lucky, as she was a very gifted GFE Provider. After a few more Hobby encounters, a fellow Hobbyist spoke to me about the practicality of having a P411 account. It made sense and shortly there after I applied for and was granted P411 verification.
Moving forward again, I moved from Indiana to Mississippi and started over. I had made some contacts here in the Gulf Coast area before my move and introduced myself on the board. Once I moved, ASPD was on it's final legs and soon thereafter expired. I wandered for a while and finally found ECCIE. To my surprise, many of the people I had met on ASPD had migrated here.
Once again, I began to build trust by posting on the board and getting a feel for the local community. Finding out which of the local members (Male & Female) were drama queens. Finding out which Providers that I should avoid as well as which Providers I absolutely had to meet! Then I contacted one of the Gulf Coast Providers about spending some quality time together. Once again, it was trust that allowed me the access to spending time with the Local Lady.
Now to your point of my established track record... Yes I am traceable on the board and also on P411. But without the trust that was established on the board and with the Ladies who have provided me with OK's on P411 (Thank you Ladies) it would have or could have been much more difficult to spend time with a Lady of my choice.
I guess it is a sign of my age, but as an old story goes about 2 Bulls sitting on a hill. The young Bull says to the old Bull. "Let's run down the hill and breed one of the Cows." The old Bulls says, "NO, Let's walk down the hill and breed ALL the Cows!".
I find it better to go slowly and establish trust and let my board presence and record speak for me. I am of course willing to offer my P411 credentials. Or, allow a Lady I have not yet spent time with the opportunity to speak with any of the Ladies with whom I have spent time.
So Calista, I do remember/understand what it is like for a new Hobbyist without references/credentials. I will also say, that I appreciate what you Ladies here at ECCIE do to try and establish a trust so that Hobbyist and Provider can get together. This way you Ladies can do lewd and unmentionable things to our bodies!
Bet you thought I wasn't paying attention, didn't you?
Be Careful & Enjoy!
Biomed1