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01-03-2013, 03:38 PM
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#1
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BANNED
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Men have no common sense...
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.
In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which was worth over $2 million, And informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.
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01-03-2013, 03:45 PM
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#2
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El Hombre de la Mancha
Join Date: Dec 30, 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 46,370
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An oldie but a goody. I don't understand why he was shot ...
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01-03-2013, 03:47 PM
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#3
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BANNED
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That joke always makes me wish I would've charged my ex-husbands.
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01-03-2013, 04:39 PM
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#4
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On Extended Hiatus!!
Join Date: Sep 24, 2010
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 4,472
My ECCIE Reviews
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Wonders what provider math the banks used to make the money multiply??
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01-03-2013, 04:39 PM
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#5
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Plano Tx
Posts: 1,121
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Good one, so sad so many men do not learn from it.
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01-03-2013, 08:14 PM
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#6
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El Hombre de la Mancha
Join Date: Dec 30, 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 46,370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginger Doll
That joke always makes me wish I would've charged my ex-husbands.
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You can retire on $20 a year in AR?
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01-03-2013, 08:18 PM
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#7
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BANNED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pyramider
You can retire on $20 a year in AR?
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Lol! Believe it or not, I had a super high libido when I was married. Sometimes, my husband even benefitted from it.
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01-03-2013, 08:45 PM
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#8
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On Extended Hiatus!!
Join Date: Sep 24, 2010
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 4,472
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginger Doll
Lol! Believe it or not, I had a super high libido when I was married. Sometimes, my husband even benefitted from it.
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Then after the 1 yr Honeymoon wore off, it was with on sex!!
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01-03-2013, 10:24 PM
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#9
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Aug 14, 2010
Location: at airports
Posts: 187
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Another Ending...
Actually- I heard that one originally with a different ending. He comes home after losing his job and she takes him to the window of their high-rise flat. Shoe points at an office building in the next block and tells him that they own it. Same with a small commercial center and a half dozen other properties.
"How is this possible?" he asks. "Well- you know that money I have gotten from you every time we made love? In vested it?" He is astonished "How can you have gotten this much real estate on that small amount of money?" "Well..." shes says "...not everyone is as cheap as you are!"
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01-04-2013, 08:20 AM
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#10
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 13, 2010
Location: Comfort of the South
Posts: 2,633
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginger Doll
That joke always makes me wish I would've charged my ex-husbands.
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{staff edit- personal info}
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01-04-2013, 10:12 AM
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#11
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Sep 16, 2012
Location: Your imagination
Posts: 3,846
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That is how I heard it howl.
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01-04-2013, 12:31 PM
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#12
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BANNED
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{staff edit- personal info}
No, unfortunately it's not illegal to be an asshole.
Apparently, it's not against the rules to be one on this board, either...
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01-04-2013, 12:34 PM
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#13
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 13, 2010
Location: Comfort of the South
Posts: 2,633
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Hey, I resemble that remark!
Kisses to you, Ginger, for keeping up a good front...
...and a damn fine back, too!
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01-04-2013, 02:24 PM
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#14
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BANNED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by giteneny
Hey, I resemble that remark!
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A striking resemblance it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by giteneny
Kisses to you, Ginger, for keeping up a good front...
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No front necessary. I've been out of the situation for over 4 years now... I don't even give it a thought. It's very strange that you do, though.
{staff edit- personal info}
Posting real-life personal info? That's against the rules...but you already knew that, didn't you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by giteneny
...and a damn fine back, too!
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You'll have to be satisfied with kissing it from afar, dear. I don't think we're compatible.
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01-04-2013, 02:58 PM
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#15
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 12, 2009
Location: near Lake Ontario
Posts: 48,840
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Men have no common sense...
yet I like you anyways
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