Welcome to ECCIE, become a part of the fastest growing adult community. Take a minute & sign up!

Welcome to ECCIE - Sign up today!

Become a part of one of the fastest growing adult communities online. We have something for you, whether you’re a male member seeking out new friends or a new lady on the scene looking to take advantage of our many opportunities to network, make new friends, or connect with people. Join today & take part in lively discussions, take advantage of all the great features that attract hundreds of new daily members!

Go Premium

Go Back   ECCIE Worldwide > General Interest > Comedy Central
test
Comedy Central All your funny stuff goes here.

Most Favorited Images
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
Most Liked Images
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
Top Reviewers
cockalatte 650
MoneyManMatt 490
Jon Bon 401
Still Looking 399
samcruz 399
Harley Diablo 377
honest_abe 362
DFW_Ladies_Man 313
Chung Tran 288
lupegarland 287
nicemusic 285
Starscream66 282
You&Me 281
George Spelvin 270
sharkman29 256
Top Posters
DallasRain70825
biomed163710
Yssup Rider61274
gman4453363
LexusLover51038
offshoredrilling48821
WTF48267
pyramider46370
bambino43221
The_Waco_Kid37418
CryptKicker37231
Mokoa36497
Chung Tran36100
Still Looking35944
Mojojo33117

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-28-2012, 05:30 PM   #1
Sweet N Little
Upgraded Female Account
 
Sweet N Little's Avatar
 
User ID: 24680
Join Date: Apr 29, 2010
Location: North Little Rock,Ar
My Bio Page
Posts: 12,598
My ECCIE Reviews
Default Just fuck me like a whore

ran across this today from Craigslist (not mine lol)



OK . . . I give up . . . just fuck me like a whore


OK - I have been trying to meet a "nice" guy for quite a while now, using both traditional methods (set-ups through friends, the bar scene, work, etc.) and non-traditional (i.e., internet dating), and have had abysmal results. By "nice", I don't mean a bible-thumping, republican, up-tight putz who could make a diamond out of a lump of coal planted firmly up his a-hole. I mean a guy who is capable of having a decent conversation that doesn't center around the size of his cock; who is aware of the world around him; who is respectful of people and animals; who doesn't clip his fucking fingernails on the train; who makes me laugh; who parties like a rock star when he has the time; and who can fuck me like a champ after checking his hang-ups at the door. Someone with a brain. A sense of humor. A job. I'm a busy, successful, attractive woman with a professional degree and a great circle of friends. I have a life. What I don't have, however, is a lot of time to wade through a bunch of bullshit. If you just want to get laid, fine; just say that up front so I can move on. Don't make me waste my time exchanging e-mails for days, then stop writing after I don't want to answer the "money" questions after knowing you for 3.5 hours, like 1) what's the craziest sex you've ever had? 2) how often do you masturbate? 3) do you have a nice, clean ass, with clean ass odor? (I couldn't make that up) and 4) do you like oral? (DUH??!!?? WHO DOESN'T??) Apparently, no matter how pretty, sexy, funny, smart, successful, sweet, caring, interesting etc. I am, it all boils down to one thing: fucking. Fine. I give up. You want to fuck? I can fuck.

WANTED: a guy to pull out his big, thick cock within five seconds of our first meeting. I want to kneel at your feet and worship you (and your organ) like a greek god. I will take your throbbing love-stick in my mouth and service you like a pro. I will lick the head of your penis, concentrating on the sensitive spot underneath the head, where it meets the shaft. I will then take you fully into my mouth, and move my head all the way down, swallowing the entire length. When you're all the way in and I'm fighting not to gag, I will move all the way back to the tip, then repeat. I will continue, up and down, until I feel that you're about to cum; then I'll stop, lick my way down to your balls, and take take them both in my mouth while stroking your cock with my hand. I will then move around to your back, spread the cheeks of your ass and rim your asshole with my tongue while stroking your cock. I'll shove a finger or two up there, if you like.

Once you're good and hard, I'll let you eat my pussy for a while, preferably until I cum two or three times. A little rimming of your own would be nice. Attention can be paid to my breasts (which are D-cups, by the way), or I can pinch my nipples myself. Once my juices are flowing, you can proceed to the fucking. Shove your cock in me, hard, all the way in. The harder the better, and if you're hung like a horse, my prayers have been answered. Keep going. Don't worry about me; I will make myself cum again on my own, either with old-fashioned diddling or my trusty vibrator. My ass needs attention, too, don't forget-I'm a three-input kinda girl! After you've made me cum fucking me the old-fashioned way, slowly (and gently, please!) push your huge dick up my ass. Use lots of astro-glide. I will be a little hesitant at first, but then the yummy pleasure-mixed-with-pain will start to kick in, and I'll get really into it. I'll start shoving my ass back against your cock as hard as I can, until I explode with the hardest orgasm yet. At this point, if you feel like getting your freak on, we can pop in a porno and emulate whatever is happening on the screen. Or, I can pull out my cache of sex toys. You can have me straddle an enormous uber-cock and work as much of it into my vagina as I can take, while you get in on the action by fucking me up the ass. You want a threesome? No problem. I'll invite one of my crazy girlfriends over, and you can watch me eat her out while you masturbate. Or, she can sit on my face while you fuck me. Another option is you banging me from behind while I lick her pussy. The possibilities are endless, really.

Once that's over, feel free to pull out and cum on my ass / tits / face / mouth / whatever.

See, I do have what you want! Don't tell ME law school was all for naught. . .
w4m
Sweet N Little is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 06:09 PM   #2
uhaveme
Valued Poster
 
uhaveme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 18, 2012
Location: Central texas
Posts: 191
Encounters: 7
Default

I love it!! down to brass ticks on both levels. Your a nice lady and someone is missing out big time.
uhaveme is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 07:56 PM   #3
maxswell69
Premium Access
 
Join Date: Apr 7, 2009
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 466
Encounters: 94
Default

And the one responder doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're" which is the contraction of "you are."
maxswell69 is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 08:13 PM   #4
PhantomofTheOpera
Valued Poster
 
Join Date: Apr 30, 2010
Location: second star to the right, and straight on till morning
Posts: 570
Default

Nor did that person read what SnL wrote at the start of her post... that what she copied from CL was not her posting. I seriously doubt SnL has any issues with getting anyone she wants in the RW.

SnL, I found that post funny, sad, comical, sarcastic, and it kind of turned me on... *chuckle*
PhantomofTheOpera is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 08:19 PM   #5
MasterBaiter1996
Account Disabled
 
Join Date: Jan 31, 2012
Posts: 2,714
Encounters: 30
Default

I would marry the lady that wrote that.
MasterBaiter1996 is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 08:41 PM   #6
Sweet N Little
Upgraded Female Account
 
Sweet N Little's Avatar
 
User ID: 24680
Join Date: Apr 29, 2010
Location: North Little Rock,Ar
My Bio Page
Posts: 12,598
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomofTheOpera View Post
Nor did that person read what SnL wrote at the start of her post... that what she copiedfrom CL was not her posting. I seriously doubt SnL has any issues with getting anyone she wants in the RW.

SnL, I found that post funny, sad, comical, sarcastic, and it kind of turned me on... *chuckle*
You would be correct ..and a naughty man

I'll run an like that when my escorting days end
Sweet N Little is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 08:50 PM   #7
PhantomofTheOpera
Valued Poster
 
Join Date: Apr 30, 2010
Location: second star to the right, and straight on till morning
Posts: 570
Default

^^^^ busted... again!
PhantomofTheOpera is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 08:53 PM   #8
MUSHROOM MAN
Account Disabled
 
Join Date: Feb 25, 2011
Location: crandall
Posts: 773
Encounters: 45
Default

Goodness,
The author just pretty much described the perfect session, I felt a little tear run down my face as I read it being at home tonight, and now with a raging hard on, damnit that was good.
MUSHROOM MAN is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 09:08 PM   #9
rodog44
Valued Poster
 
rodog44's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2, 2010
Location: baton rouge,la
Posts: 456
Encounters: 56
Default

If she cant get whoever she wants whenever she wants then something is very fucking wrong. I could just sit around and listen to her talk. This chick is smart.
rodog44 is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 09:11 PM   #10
uhaveme
Valued Poster
 
uhaveme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 18, 2012
Location: Central texas
Posts: 191
Encounters: 7
Default

Sorry about the two mistakes I made. I am just human sometimes.
uhaveme is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 09:15 PM   #11
Sweet N Little
Upgraded Female Account
 
Sweet N Little's Avatar
 
User ID: 24680
Join Date: Apr 29, 2010
Location: North Little Rock,Ar
My Bio Page
Posts: 12,598
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by uhaveme View Post
Sorry about the two mistakes I made. I am just human sometimes.
no worries, I actually edited it to say "not mine" but didn't see your comment at the time, my apologies.
I just thought it funny and wanted to share
Sweet N Little is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 09:49 PM   #12
Go4it
Valued Poster
 
Go4it's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 7, 2009
Location: D/FW midcities
Posts: 1,588
Encounters: 24
Default

What was her number or how do we contact her?????
Go4it is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 09:52 PM   #13
gary5912
Account Disabled
 
Join Date: Feb 18, 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 1,776
Encounters: 14
Default

if there were more women like that in the real world, men would not need to hobby, and that would not be a good thing for the providers
gary5912 is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 10:52 PM   #14
TheAntichrist666
Valued Poster
 
TheAntichrist666's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 30, 2012
Location: Houston, TX but do travel on business
Posts: 4,841
Encounters: 118
Default

Wow! That is all I can say.
TheAntichrist666 is offline   Quote
Old 12-28-2012, 11:19 PM   #15
alyssiajuarez
Pending Age Verification
 
User ID: 7340
Join Date: Jan 10, 2010
Location: North Arlington
Posts: 578
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

Wow!!! made me want to meet her! Lol wow!
alyssiajuarez is offline   Quote
Reply

Thread Tools


AMPReviews.net
Find Ladies
Hot Women

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright © 2009 - 2016, ECCIE Worldwide, All Rights Reserved