OLDER sexuality and kink ... need some input, please!

[ElisabethWhispers]

I'm attempting to write an article concerning elderly sexual habits (think over 60) and BDSM.

There are already articles and suggestions but I'm trying to present an article (want it to be published but who knows?) about the challenges, etc., of sex when you're older and other health concerns. Heart attacks and the such.

I do worry that if while performing something extreme on someone much older, well what would happen "if"?

I would very much appreciate some input. I need more suggestions and ideas other than "if your knees are bad, throw a pillow on the floor for kneeling". There is more to share.

If I don't get a bunch of response here, thought that I might present this topic in the national section but with this bunch, seriously, would sincerely appreciate some thoughts and opinions.

Thanks,
Elisabeth

[Solemate62]

There may be a stereotype here to consider. Not all of us older clients (will be 68 in 10 days) are dropping our crutches at the bedside of a Provider before jumping in the sack. In the small place I work, i am by far the healthiest guy ther and also the oldest. It depends on one's lifestyle. I still am an active runner, competing often and winning often in my age group. Gave up booze 11 years ago, never have smoked. i work 40 hours per week and have a healthy, active sex life in this Hobby of ours. MSOG for me is not an option and I can not do it as frequently as I could as a younger man but with the help of the V pill, a dab/day of Androgel, a sexy partner, i have no problem getting a quick erection in session, keeping it and satisfying myself (and hopefully my partner) and reaching a climax, normally through intercourse, my preferred way to cum. My greatest challenge is not age related- My hobby budget does not measure up to my constant 'Horny' factor
PS: My kink or kinks I have either had for years but am constantly trying new one. Indeed, if I were a candidate for blowing out my aorta, it would have happened two days ago with Tia-Phoenix!
Interestint topic, Elisabeth!

[Ms. Athena]

I have to agree with Solemate here, many of my over 60 clients are in better shape and have more stamina then my under 60 clients.....Now why is this? I think that they have cum to realize that life it short and they are ready to enjoy its fullest, they tend to have less issues with trying something new and kinky and less issues using a lil pill if needed. And as it seems they are more open minded, and more relaxed which allows for more free play and more second cums......Just my 2cents, as it is tends to be my younger men with the more health issues, and mental blocks.....Thanks for the topic, I look forward to reading all's options.....

[ElisabethWhispers]

That's kindof my point to this topic. Currently, I'm seeing older and older people enjoying their sexuality more than in the past. Of course, ME being older might have something to do with that.

But so many (younger, probably) don't see the older generation as still being sexual creatures and vibrant. Plus, I'm not seeing to many books and articles about older sexuality, although there is one book that I've found and certainly, more than a few articles.

And at some of the seminars that I've attended, some have spoken about bdsm scenes with people who are older.

I believe that as we're getting older, that some of us like the time more than before. I really like a crazy and fast time with a guy. Still do!

But I would think that as I get older that taking more time to enjoy a partner would be key.

I'm just rattling, though. I'll have a more well thought out response later.

(But let's hear it for the older men that just rock!)

[Solemate62]

Hey, Elisabeth, if you need a volunteer for any lab-type of experiments, drop me a PM!

SM62

[DallasRain]

I agree with Ms Athena....most over 55 guys can run circles around the under 30 guys!

I think attitude changes when we hit 50 and we become more receptive therefore giving us more stamina in what is important!

[cumalot]

For me being in the over 60 kink bracket I may have too much time on my hands. That causes me to seek out the untried and the proven kink from the kink bucket. With limited time things matter more and things just plain feel better when the inhibitions wall is down. When health issues arise then adjustments have to be made via pill or by monitoring one's issues. Having the right attitude towards life and having a positive sexual attitude with lots of kink works for me. Life is too short not to explore the kink no matter what age you are. We all make compensations for what we are able and not able to do, but for me to retire from the hobby or abstaining from the sex and the kink will only happen when I'm 6 feet under and then things will continue as my avatar suggests. Live life to the fullest with out regrets, open your eyes and your mind to kink...You might not live longer but you will leave this world more fulfilled.

[Ms. Athena]

Well said my friend....................

[doublebogey49]

Originally Posted by Solemate62

There may be a stereotype here to consider. Not all of us older clients (will be 68 in 10 days) are dropping our crutches at the bedside of a Provider before jumping in the sack.. I work 40 hours per week and have a healthy, active sex life in this Hobby of ours. MSOG for me is not an option and I can not do it as frequently as I could as a younger man but with the help of the V pill, a dab/day of Androgel, a sexy partner, i have no problem getting a quick erection in session, keeping it and satisfying myself (and hopefully my partner) and reaching a climax, normally through intercourse, my preferred way to cum. My greatest challenge is not age related- My hobby budget does not measure up to my constant 'Horny' factor.

Well said. I, too, am in the over-60 bracket and my relatively recent entry into the hobby has opened my eyes to the wonders that time with a sexy partner still brings. MSOG is really not an option for me in the time usually allotted and things don't always work "automatically" anymore, but an enthusiastic and giving partner puts me at ease and has me standing at attention very quickly. I enjoy being with a lady who is more mature herself and isn't in a rush to get to the finish line.

I relish the time spent kissing, touching, and exploring each other's body as much as the orgasm itself. One of my most mind-blowing and sensual experiences happened recently when, during our session, a wonderful lady started sucking on my toes. It was only one of a multitude of things we did together, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and will see that lady again very soon.

Before my hobby life, receiving oral sex was strictly off-limits, so one might think that it would be at the top of my list. While I do enjoy it very much, I find it easier and preferable to reach orgasm through intercourse. It could be from a loss of sensitivity or years of conditioning, but I find it harder to cum through a BJ. In the end, it doesn't matter as long as my partner and I have a connection and we enjoy our time together. Reaching the finish line is still important, but it usually happens near the end of a session and can take a little longer than when I was a young guy. BDSM has just never been on my radar, but I am having such a good time that I would hate to completely rule out new experiences.

I have had a couple of health issues lately but I view them as just part of the aging process and expert medical care has resolved them. I have been very fortunate to have found a few caring and experienced partners who have provided me with a great deal of pleasure. As a result, I am happier and more confident in my sexual ability and I hope that things continue this way for some time to come.

[spice-is-nice]

I, too, am part of the over 60 age, the age the Beatles sang about
EW, I'm not sure if you are asking about injury, or if you are asking about if a client actually died on you.

The former seems fairly straightforward to me. Safe, sane, and consensual is our mantra, so it makes sense that we want the "hurts so good" part, but not the "hurts so bad" part. I have lost range of motion in my neck over the years, so I prefer DATY kneeling by the bed. Having my arms stretched above my head causes my arms to go numb, and isn't enjoyable. But my cardiovascular system is in excellent shape.

So, from the injury standpoint, communicate, communicate, communicate--as I know you do. I would think that the odds of an injury which would necessitate an ambulance and attendant embarrassment would be vanishingly small.

From the illness standpoint, I suppose a non-fatal heart attack or stroke would be the nightmare scenario here. I suppose that must have happened to some providers on occasion, but haven't seen anything posted on here.

An outright death must also be quite rare, and I have no idea how you would deal with it. Prevention is probably the key here. Your clients might not always be honest, but I'd think you wouldn't want to play with someone you know, or suspect, is at risk for serious health issues.

It would be interesting if anyone actually knows of such experiences and how they were or should be handled.

[kitmouser]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

I agree with Ms Athena....most over 55 guys can run circles around the under 30 guys!

I think attitude changes when we hit 50 and we become more receptive therefore giving us more stamina in what is important!

I'm with you DR, I have a couple of years before 55, but they younger co-workers do not like going on a project with me. I wear them out and they don't seem to keep up. I think it's fun, but I forget to do things like eat and take breaks.

[Gonzo DFW]

Simple for Gonzo, and I think for other over-60s. We've lived more days than we're going to live, and we know it. So if sex was and is important, it's time to be engaging in sex. I will say, however, that quality is far more important than quantity, and depth of the experience is far more important than breadth. Hence, my post in another thread that kissing, foreplay and other acts of erotic stimulus are far more important to me now than when I was younger. Ejaculation is now truly a "climax" -- an end to a much longer and deeper experience. In that sense, it ends the "good time" rather than prolonging it. But I'm not much for philosophy as I get older.

[*GoddessDallas*]

A warm, almond oil HJ and a naughty, kinky story and low lights or a blindfold doesn't hurt the old joints, and you don't need a blue pill that speeds up your heart♥
...just sayin'.

[thefamilydog]

This thread couldn't have come at a better time. I am 50 and the parts are starting to quit working. After reading this thread, I quite smoking (about a week ago - feels great!) and have re-dedicated myself to the gym. I have taken some inspiration from the guys in this thread - It is good to know I do not have to go quietly into the night....Thank you gentlemen for being honest, you really have inspired me!

[DallasRain]

congrats and best to ya Mr familydog!!