At Home, 30 min DIY "am I gay" test kit

[Toyz]

Nuglet gave me a great idea with his "at home HIV test kit". I mean, for those that are concerned but too skeered to go get checked out, what is better than sitting home alone poking yourself in the arm & saying "Oh fuck, I've got HIV"....

But more recent events on our dear board have me wondering about other tests that might be needed. Most notably "ARE YOU GAY" tests...

So, combining my semi-brilliant mind, with the wonders of medicine, I have designed & applied for a patent, on the new "TOYZ APPROVED AM I GAY" test kit!

Don't wonder anymore...now you can KNOW! Ask yourself these questions...

1). Have you ever gotten semi wood watching a Sean Connery movie & wondered "AM I GAY?" The answer is NO! It is NOT gay if you ever got a bit of a rumbling watching Sir Sean! Nothing at all gay about it

2) Have you ever gotten semi wood watching Richard Simmons do aerobics? "FUCK YES YOU ARE GAY! DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY ON MY TEST, YOU DON'T NEED IT!! Go immediately & buy yourself that silky underwear you've always wanted and quit trying to be something you are not!

Now...here are a couple of other tests to see if you are indeed a potential or probably rump ranger...

When you look at this picture, do you get wood?



Good...you are NOT GAY...You should get wood looking at this picture!!!

Test #2....do you get wood looking at THIS PICTURE?



Perfect! Again, you SHOULD GET WOOD LOOKING AT THIS PICTURE!!

Okay...good so far....now, do you get wood looking at this picture?



You sad mother fucker, you are GAY!!! THIS IS A FUCKING GUY! DO NOT SLIP YOUR TONGUE IN HIS MOUTH, HE IS A DUDE!

Allright...so far, so good...you should should have a good idea if you are gay or not by now...lets try another, shall we?

Do you get wood looking at THIS picture?



Hmmmm...well....this doesn't prove if you are gay or not, but HIDE YOUR WATCH!! NOW!! HIDE IT AND THANK ME LATER!

If you are still unsure & want to know for 100% IF YOU ARE GAY OR NOT...send me $250 in unmarked bills and I will forward the rest of the "TOYZ AM I GAY AS SHIT, KIT?".....

[pimpin_2004]

Too funny.......

Nice one Toyz

[Beagle]

It's not my fault if a TS really looks like a lady. That test was a trick!!

*Reassuring self* I am not gay, I am not gay, I am not gay, I am not gay....

[Toyz]

Beagle, you outted yourself! No names were mentioned (or animals harmed I might ad) in this pubic service announcement...

[VictoriaLyn]

I got lady wood ...does that make me gay ?

[Toyz]

Absolutely not Vicky. Many women have mild to severe Lady Wood on occasions. Its common to have a stiffening in your pelvic regions when aroused.
Later I'll be introducing my womens version "Are you kinda Lesbian, & god I hope so" test kit. One of the quickest ways to tell is to bring a girl of your choice to TOYZ Luv Shak & we'll all three hop in bed to see if your are straight or just kinda-bi...

There ia NO charge for thia service! I try to support our community & sometimes that means giving until I hurt...

[RALPHEY BOY]

I dont get wood on any of those pics, I need them more dirty!!! I am not a teenager my cock needeth some dirty porn!

[Toyz]

Ralphey hit up MM, he has some really nasty pics....

[guest020313]

hide ur watch hey she looks familiar was it abt a 4000 tag watch?

[Guest122213]

mmm Tori

[MARTlAN]

Originally Posted by Toyz

Ralphey hit up MM, he has some really nasty pics....

He said dirty not horrifying...

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Martianman

He said dirty not horrifying...

MM you are such a good sport! Thanks for letting me use your experience to launch a few good jokes...just know its all for fun!