a cold, an appointment, and a delimma

[Lust at first Sight]

Ok , I have an 4 hr appt with a well reviewed, younger provider from BP 3 days from now. I have never scheduled with her before and she might be leaving for the summer so I was excited. But this morning, I seem to have caught some kind of cold (sore throat, runny nose). I know its bad to see the provider when u are sick as you could make her sick leading to loss of business and profits.

So I called her, told her about my situation far ahead of time so that if she wants, she could cancel and use the time to schedule with someone else. I told her I still wanted to see her and this wasnt to lame "cold feet" excuse. Well she told me that its ok and we can have the appt still.

Part of me (mini-me) is happy to hear that bc im know i'll be in for a good time. Another part of me (the big head) is thinking "i don't know"? If she's willing to risk her health to do the appt with me, how safe is she really as she could be doing this with everyone else without disregard. she is young at 20 years old and could be having the youth affect of feeling invincible.

Am I valid in thinking this? or am I being paranoid? what would you do? Opinions greatly appreciated.

[Laurentius]

It is quite likely that the provider thinks you are lying.

She doesn't WANT to catch a cold, but it's likely she doesn't believe you have one.

So -- do you make her pay the penalty for that by showing up and likely making her sick? (And thereby showing that she was wrong) Or do you cancel which will allow her to maintain her worst suspicions?

I have been VERY roundly criticized by some providers for advocating that hobbyists sometimes, when someone else's health and safety are at risk, are obliged to "say no" on behalf of someone who really should but won't.

You THINK you have a cold. Might be. But have you confirmed that with DNA diagnostics? It could be the flu. A variant that more severely affects younger folks. (Several such strains exist.) So to you it seems like a cold; whereas she ends up in the ICU. Or, it could just be an allergy.

Point is, you just don't know.

I see this as an ethics question. Knowing this, should you allow a young woman who is clearly unaware of the risk (or disbelieves it) to take such a risk?

There are fundamental and difficult questions here.

Is a person who is unconcerned or in denial regarding a risk subject to second guessing?

Ordinarily, having just a touch of social darwinistic leanings, I would say no. Let them assume the risk and if they are harmed, maybe they'll learn something.

HOWEVER -- there is, IMO, a difference between merely standing back to allow someone the freedom to be irresponsible and actively aiding the risky behavior.

A woman has a right to do stupid things. But she does NOT have a right to enlist MY assistance in that endeavor.

In other words, her right to do stupid things ENDS where my assistance is required because just as I cannot compel her to stop -- she cannot compel me to assist.

Me, personally -- getting laid is not so overwhelmingly important; nor my social darwinistic leanings so strong, as to justify actively assisting a woman in contracting an illness due to her own cynical beliefs or youthful feelings of immortality.

So, IMO, if you are still convinced you are sick and it isn't allergies tomorrow; you should call and cancel. But that's just me.

[charlestudor2005]

OK, so you don't know whether it is allergies, a cold or H1N1. They all have similar symptoms in the beginning stages.

I would err on assuming the worst: swine flu. It probably isn't, but I think you have a duty to act conservatively in this situation. Canceling this far in advance for the reasons you state is appropriate IMHO.

[Tiffany Cums]

The provider, believing that you only have a cold, perhaps she thinks 'allergies...everyone is having issues with allergies...it's that time!'....if she is like most of us, she probably takes her Vit.c and drinks her airborne, uses hand sanatizer, ect. She probably has all the safeguard in place....because most hobbiest wouldn't consider calling off a date for the common cold!

Bravo to you for being concerned. As what others said, although it's not as likely, it could be the flue. You could also have strep throat. I would bow out, and look forward to the next great thing.

Personally, I have called off due to plucking an ingrown pubic hair and having a small crater like wound...it didn't look good, and I had a hard time making it stop bleeding...anything, no matter how little...but I can afford to.

[Guest062912]

+1 @ Tiffany. I think you should cancel if you don't feel better by tomorrow. Perhaps even offer her a consolation gift, if you're the generous kind and she is someone with whom you would like to try again. It might make her feel better about scheduling with you again in the future, and put to rest her fears that you were just wasting her time. Just my $.02

[Lust at first Sight]

Thanks to all who commented, I was thinking somewhere along the line of what your views were.

What would you do if you showed up and the provider or client is sick?

Happened to me once in biloxi: found out the girl had the sniffles while DFKing in Mish..

[caroline!]

ME: as a provider, I would have said let's cancel. Regardless of the time of year, I'm never interested in getting catching any cooties.

props to you for alerting your health issue. but it is 4 days away maybe you'll feel better tomorrow or the next?

[Guest083013]

I have to wonder if you have sought medical advice..

obviously since you use "aka Pseudomonas" as part of your moniker; you realize that is the proper thing to do. If treated with the right medication (should it require an antibiotic) - there is an excellent chance you would be asymptomatic by the projected appointed time...

[Lust at first Sight]

thanks, happen to me once and I was on the wrong end. This was in the middle of service so it was too late for me to turn around.. Bottom line, big turn off. So I try to treat others how I wanna be treated. And actually its 2 days now.. So i went ahead and canceled

Originally Posted by caroline!

ME: as a provider, I would have said let's cancel. Regardless of the time of year, I'm never interested in getting catching any cooties.

props to you for alerting your health issue. but it is 4 days away maybe you'll feel better tomorrow or the next?

[Lust at first Sight]

No medical advice yet. Cannot afford to run to Doc everytime I get a cold, plus no fever so I doubt its the flu..

As far as antibiotics, I know it will cover the common bacterial respiratory tract infectors. But if its viral like the the rhinovirus, agent that causes the common cold, antibiotics would be a waste of ur money.. Be better off to let it clear up in a few days then spend $$$ on MD fees and antivirals which also costs a buttload.

Btw, I'm impressed on your knowledge of the medical jargon. I think ur the first person on the board who knows what pseudomonas is.

sorry for the double post, I guess dennis submitted his reply while I was replying to caroline.. didnt see his post or I would have "multi quoted" this.

Originally Posted by dennisrn

I have to wonder if you have sought medical advice..

obviously since you use "aka Pseudomonas" as part of your moniker; you realize that is the proper thing to do. If treated with the right medication (should it require an antibiotic) - there is an excellent chance you would be asymptomatic by the projected appointed time...

[Guest061514-1]

I'd say cancel, I cancel appts/shoots if I've coughed once or had a bad wax job lol I care TOO much about my health to even consider risking someone else.

The fact that you thought to cancel, says a lot about your character. And as a woman I hope that the young lady you have a date with see's that and gives you a ROCKING GOOD TIME! LOL

All in all I think you should call/email and tell her again how you are feeling, see when she's leaving and try to reschedule

[Cpalmson]

Cancel. Even if she might be the "fuck of the century", everyone is better off. I've canceled as a hobbyist at the last minute due to a personal emergency and the provider was cool with it. I gave her notice in time so she wouldn't have to get ready or get a room.

[atlcomedy]

Laurenitus - I think a very well thought out response

Alpha - I guess I look at this more pragmatically: If I am sick or just feel like shit I don't want a 4 hour appointment with anyone. If she has incurred out of pocket costs as a result of your booking it is appropriate to offer some form of cancelation fee, but you won't enjoy the appointment as you should...

[TexTushHog]

Very interesting situation. I think you should warn the providers, as you indeed did. And it does raise questions in my mind about her judgment. Now whether you should refrain from infecting her withe the cold after she has essentially said, "I don't give a shit," is a more difficult decisions.

I guess I'd come down on the side of if you're not so concerned that you fear catching something as a result of what this says about her carelessness, I'd e-mail her one more time and give her one more chance to bow out. But it's a cold, she'll get over it, and she was warned. Go ahead and make the appointment if you think you'll enjoy it. I don't see how you can be morally faulted after warning the gal twice. (Again, assuming it's as benign as a common cold. If you had the flu, my answer would be different.)

I'm just in the minority here, I guess.

[wildwooly1]

been in this same situation not too long ago and called provider and optted out and apologized and she understood ..Dont forget its not only the provider that may get the cold but it could be passed onto the next poor unsuspecting client that she sees next...do the right thing and cancel appointment and make it up to the provider on the next visit with a small token of appreciation to the provider for being so understanding and everybody will win in the end.