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Diamonds and Tuxedos Glamour, elegance, and sophistication. That's what it's all about here in ECCIE's newest forum which caters to those with expensive tastes, lavish lifestyles, and an appetite for upscale entertainment.

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Old 03-30-2010, 07:12 PM   #1
Guest053011
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Default The New Employer Reference

Interesting how LinkedIn.com has become such a valuable screening tool for ladies. Women are afraid to use employer references now because there are cases where they've been faked.

I understand there are rules about the website is what makes it so valuable. People don't network to just anyone, they take their Connections list seriously.

So a profile with too many, or no connections raises eyebrows. You can look through to see that they're connected with a reasonable amount of people in their industry over time.

Not a stand alone, but handy.
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Old 03-30-2010, 08:37 PM   #2
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I closed all my social networking accounts. Wasted to much time keeping up with posts like, "I'm bored. Anyone doing anything?"
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Old 03-30-2010, 10:46 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill View Post
Interesting how LinkedIn.com has become such a valuable screening tool for ladies. Women are afraid to use employer references now because there are cases where they've been faked.

I understand there are rules about the website is what makes it so valuable. People don't network to just anyone, they take their Connections list seriously.

So a profile with too many, or no connections raises eyebrows. You can look through to see that they're connected with a reasonable amount of people in their industry over time.

Not a stand alone, but handy.
Really? LinkedIn is now being used as a screening tool? Gentlemen are forking over their very personal information for provider screening? If its not too personal, I would love to know more about how you can justify knowing that.

I'm on LinkedIn and if you were to know it you would have access to my real name, my current employer, all of my former employers, my RW email address, where I went to college, home telephone numbers, etc. That's all without getting access to my connections, who include a lot of people I definitely would not want to know of my "extra-curricular" activities. With that info and a little bit of Googling way too much info is available.

Is P411 verification, other Providers I have seen, Date Check verification, TER reviews, ECCIE posts/reviews, USASexGuide.info posts/reviews and Escorts.com reviews just not enough any more to make a lady "comfortable" and "feel safe" seeing me? I'm sorry, but I really think that LiknedIn information is going over the line as far a screening requirements. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I can assure you that I won't be visiting with any Provider that requires that information.

Perhaps I really should exit this crazy world I play in if that what it takes to get in today. I completely understand and support your need to feel safe with a client but c'mon? Do I also need to fax over copies of my birth certificate, passport, drivers license and my security clearance before making an appointment, as well?

Not trying to start up a brush fire but this is the first time I have ever heard of LinkedIn being used and/or required for screening.
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Old 03-30-2010, 11:23 PM   #4
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Geez, she didn't say she required the info - she said it was a great screening tool.

Typically people who play in the demimonde pool provide all their information and you just google them to confirm. Then we all get naked and go skinny dipping (with covers, of course).

The man that I see exclusively now sent me his introduction from his work email. His choice to do so was based on a personal recommendation and my reputation. Doing so made me comfortable enough that I'm still seeing him 2 years later. Its very, very good for us both.

Of course, I when I was working I had cases of men who provided minimal screening. If it passed muster (P411 and such), they got a minimal of me as well. Its hard to give yourself to someone who isn't trusting of you. Its a two way street that when properly navigated can be immensely rewarding to all parties involved.

Yes, its to be done judiciously, but I think that most men find women like Lauren to be worthy of such sound judgement.
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Old 03-31-2010, 12:00 AM   #5
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Geez, she didn't say she required the info - she said it was a great screening tool.
I agree. I was just very surprised that it is being used as a screening tool at all.

Again, to be clear, I am not arguing with a Providers need for some screening info. I am happy to provide screening info...up to a point. My point is that with LinkedIn, in particular, there can be much more info available that goes above and beyond what I think a Provider would need.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydneyb View Post
Its a two way street that when properly navigated can be immensely rewarding to all parties involved.
Truer words were never spoken! Finding that balance, at the start, is the key!
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Old 03-31-2010, 12:49 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill View Post
Interesting how LinkedIn.com has become such a valuable screening tool for ladies. Women are afraid to use employer references now because there are cases where they've been faked.

I understand there are rules about the website is what makes it so valuable. People don't network to just anyone, they take their Connections list seriously.

So a profile with too many, or no connections raises eyebrows. You can look through to see that they're connected with a reasonable amount of people in their industry over time.

Not a stand alone, but handy.
This is the very reason why I question any involvement with LinkedIn. I know that site is a tool for the real world and LinkedIn is great for business however I would strongly caution against using it as a reference check. I will note that it does not take much at all to fake a LinkedIn profile if some forethought is given to the purpose and implementation of it so it can pass muster in using it as a reference check in this little realm.

Like Chica Chaser, I have a lot of folks that I know where I strongly recommend they remove their picture, real email address, phone number, etc. on those profiles. Outside of this realm, there are real people who are far more dangerous than crazy providers who are cyber-stalking their former clients/bf's.

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlestudor2005 View Post
I closed all my social networking accounts. Wasted to much time keeping up with posts like, "I'm bored. Anyone doing anything?"
CT what you wrote is not what gets posted on LinkedIn but on places like Facebook, Twitter and Myspace, etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chica Chaser View Post
...
Again, to be clear, I am not arguing with a Providers need for some screening info. I am happy to provide screening info...up to a point. My point is that with LinkedIn, in particular, there can be much more info available that goes above and beyond what I think a Provider would need.
...
I agree that LinkedIn presents way too much information for any provider in most insances. There is no justifiable need for a provider to have that much information, period.
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Old 03-31-2010, 10:28 PM   #7
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I have refused all requests to join Linkedin. No real reason to divulge that info to the spammers and scammers.

I only use Facebook for reunion stuff. Do I really care that a "friend" is having a ham sandwich? Uhh, no. Do my friends care if I am off to take a poop? No. (I know flush twice, it's a long way to Wasington [old joke/wall scribble] ).
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Old 03-31-2010, 10:45 PM   #8
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Really? LinkedIn is now being used as a screening tool? Gentlemen are forking over their very personal information for provider screening? If its not too personal, I would love to know more about how you can justify knowing that.
Umm actually my dear friend, I've never asked for it. What I ask for are real names.

Then you can log into things like google, myspace, facebook, twitter, LinkedIn. I have once refused someone based on their Twitter posts. They were pretty unsettling.

You don't want people looking at your facebook or LinkedIn profile, don't set one up. Anytime you provide any information online linked to you real name it will come up in google, and I google every gent.

All I use LinkedIn for is knowing someone has a real employment history, and they aren't EL faking an employment reference. It does however provide a lot of info, to just about anyone who knows your name. As far as people with bad intent go, I'm the least of anyone's worries. For the most part, I really don't care too much about your life unless we're actually talking about it (most of us don't), and I have the memory of a goldfish. Once I've done my screening and it verifies, I've pretty much forgotten everything by the next coffee. Not seeing many people, I'm not going to mix people up, or forget them once I've met them. So I don't need to keep info.

However, I can't say the same thing about the guy who handles your mail, or the gas station attended who took down your credit card info.
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Old 03-31-2010, 10:56 PM   #9
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Default LI thoughts in general without trying to respond to anyone specifically

1. LI has been a great networking tool for me. It has given me an opportunity to "reconnect" with a bunch of former colleagues/business partners. It has proved a tactful way of getting myself in front of people I know that I otherwise wouldn't just email out of the blue and say "what's up?" It has resulted in business for me. It has also given me a way to contact these people.

2. You (the user) actually have quite a bit of control over others access to your contact info. Most public profiles are very limited. It isn't like the provider is going to ask you to add them as a "connection" (if they do - decline them & rethink seeing them). All a non-connection can see is a public profile.

3. The whole premise of "connections" (1st level) is that you actually know the people & don't mind others knowing you know them. They are people you wouldn't mind having your email address (or other info). (I as a choice limit my contact info to email addy, even though some people may share much more).

4. As far as using LI for a vouch/reference, it assumes the provider has your real name, etc. anyway. Most of us already have some web presence. LI is just one addition to it. If she already has your real id, she can find out a lot more about you on google than LI (particularly if you can afford to play in the D&T end of the pool).

5. Given a little time (a week, if that) it would be pretty easy for someone familiar with the system (& how to go about getting connections), to create a very credible, completely bogus profile. But then no provider has suggested she is naive enough to exclusively rely on LI as a vouch/reference.
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Old 03-31-2010, 11:13 PM   #10
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Awesome post atl
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Old 04-01-2010, 04:57 AM   #11
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5. Given a little time (a week, if that) it would be pretty easy for someone familiar with the system (& how to go about getting connections), to create a very credible, completely bogus profile. But then no provider has suggested she is naive enough to exclusively rely on LI as a vouch/reference.
And this is where it gets touchy. For ever point, their is a LE counterpoint. The problem is not the ladies that understand the system, it is the ladies that do not. The ladies that still think if you ask a gent if he is connected to LE , they have to answer honestly. These ladies get lulled into a false sense of security about screening methods. There is only one sure fire way of not getting arrested. I have seen no sure fire way of protecting oneself from wacko's. A false sense of security is worse than staying on one's toes throughout a first encounter, IMHO.
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Old 04-01-2010, 10:47 AM   #12
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The fact of the matter is that there is practically nothing that LE cannot fake, manufacture or imitate that a provider would ask if they want you. That includes Google references and employment records.
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Old 04-01-2010, 11:13 AM   #13
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A false sense of security is worse than staying on one's toes throughout a first encounter, IMHO.
Word.
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Old 04-11-2010, 06:00 PM   #14
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Besides LinkedIn, there are smaller sites that are based on local or community businesses - which can be helpful tools found in search sites too.

As for my screening requirements, I ask for hobby related screening information first. (refs, reviews, etc.)
If that is limited, but is in good reason, I'll offer to screen through their personal and work information. Over time, I've built a good reputation for being discreet, but its not something that can be forced on others. There has been times that a newbie REALLY had nothing to offer for screening (no refs, no memberships, self employed, not even a Myspace or Facebook) but with a respectful polite decline of service - He was very understanding and returned the following month with new verifiable refs.

Safety should be taken very seriously, but shouldn't cause stress and take the fun out of our special time together. Hobbies should be FUN!
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