Am I Too Blame Here?

[Guitar]

I usually don't make it to Jxn except on the weekends, but I had to go yesterday afternoon to get something done for this upcoming hunting season. I've been seeing some of the Texas ladies, that are on this site, advertising on BP as well. So I figure they are over here, waiting out the storm. I contacted 3 different ones, and only 1 is still here. So, I text her I was coming to Jxn and I'd contact her after I got there and got thru with my business. I come out BassPro and text, WHERE ARE YOU? And she replys right back I55 and Beasley. Now, I live over an hour away and I'm not really sure where that is, but I know about where it is. Within 15 minutes, I'm sitting in the shell station at the corner of I55 and Beasley. I call her and no answer. I text her that I'm there and 5 minutes go by and no response. I text, HELLO. I wait for what seems an eternity, which I'm sure ain't but about 10 minutes and still no response. So I type, SORRY, I'LL CATCH YOU NEXT TIME. I am about 3/4 way home, and she texts, YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU WERE OFFICIALLY ON THE WAY. So, now it's MY fault we were not able to connect? Am I doing this all wrong hobbiest? I called and I texted. I assume she's over here all day and night, in a hotel, and all of a sudden, she can't fit me in and it's my fault?

[beguilingvoice]

I started this part of my life about 3 to 4 years ago. Got my P411 going and sent out a few requests to see a newb to iowa ladies.
Got a reply from a well know Des Moines pro and told her I would be in a airport hotel on such a date at such a time and would like my provider cherry to be popped. That was 2 weeks before said date.

I never called her or texted her before I went to DM. When I got to DM had dinner with a friend and about 2 hours before the date time, I get a very pissed off voicemail saying " are we doing this, why the fuck have I not heard from you? "

It tought me the lesson that texting a day or two before the date is best. Also texting in the morning of the day of the date is a must.

I try to take the whole day off if I KNOW I going to have a date. Does it always work out ? No, but if I let the provider know what I'm doing and how much I'm putting into the date. They seem to understand I'm serious about my time.

I beleave in the golden rule, those with the gold make the rules.

But even if you have the gold, we have to understand very few things in this lifestyle is for sure.

You have to decide if this is deal breaker, on making an other date with her.
What I would do is try to talk by phone and gage her feelings about what happened and tell her how it made you feel. You might get a great date out of it in the long run. Hope to see a ROS detailing how she made it right with you.

PS. This is why I dont do short notice dates. A fleshlight works best for those days IMHO.

[Guest082718]

Voice, you bring up some good points. But I think when Guitar went to the location provided, and sent text he did as requested. Once he tried contacting and got no response IMO he was off the hook for any additional responsibility for the appointment.

Don't know why she didn't respond 15 mins after he asked where she was and we won't know. Sounds like a double book to me, but could be wrong.

But, Guitar, when you get a location in the future just say "on the way" "i'll text when there" etc. If you do and still can't make contact upon arrival, then it's 1000% on her.

But Guitar, if you texted an hour+ before the appointment and got an immediate response she should have been expecting you.

But I think the 20+ minutes of silence while waiting plus the 45 mins or whatever you were on the road, says something that if I had to assign fault I'd put it with her.

[Moonchild]

Based on what you typed, it was specific but not to the point of saying you wanted to spend time with her. So to answer your question on who is to blame...I'd say you are

[dj8rocks]

Just my thoughts, it sounds like there was a pretty big lack of communication based on what the OP stated. Lack of communication on his part that is. My typical MO is to book in advance with a wide margin of time to accommodate any changes in my or her schedule. As the day gets closer, we narrow the time down even more. The morning of, I touch base, usually just a simple " looking forward to meeting you at such and such time this evening/night. Simple but precise communication, I have found, is extremely important in avoiding situations like this one. Good luck, dj8

[JustaGuyinMS]

Guitar:

I think both you and the lady share "blame." When it comes to communication, especially with someone you've never met, more is better. You could have been clearer, and she could have asked more questions if she wasn't sure what you were telling her.

Remember, there are three equal parts to communication:

1. The words
2. Tome
3. Body language

With text, you only get #1, so you have to be clearer with the words.

Good luck and have fun.

JaG

[aNameinGulfport]

Originally Posted by JustaGuyinMS

Remember, there are three equal parts to communication:

1. The words
2. Tome
3. Body language

With text, you only get #1, so you have to be clearer with the words.

which is just another reason to not text, besides my manly sized thumbs and limited brain capacity.

Seriously, I will send an PM to initiate contact, but after that I only do real telephone calls.

[Road Lizard]

Originally Posted by aNameinGulfport

which is just another reason to not text, besides my manly sized thumbs and limited brain capacity.

Seriously, I will send an PM to initiate contact, but after that I only do real telephone calls.

Ain't that the damn truth?? Every time I've ever had screwed up communications, it was with a 'text -only' provider.

Guitar, my advice is spell out exactly what you want time wise, exactly how long before you are there and get exact instructions. If they don't do that, let 'em go cause it's their lack of communications. Text only is bullshit.

[Dark Paths]

I had a lady I was trying to see last night. Her profile on this site and all the positive reviews made me decide to take a chance. Called, she was free and was told her general area. Called when I got there and no answer. Did get a text a minute later wanting to know my location. Then she texted asking me to give a few minutes. I did but at the 15 min mark, I texted bye and went to JJ's for a lapdance. I understand the women's time is valuable but so is mine.

[Smile Guy 69]

Guitar, I wouldn't worry much about trying to figure out who's at fault. Just chalk it up to a learning experience. Sounds like a simple case of miscommunication and/or different expectations about how and when to communicate. Every girl is different, and some need more clarification than others.

As RL suggested, in the future try to be more clear and specific in your communications. Don't assume anything and always confirm understanding. Don't leave any chance for confusion. Never miss an opportunity to clarify or confirm details and set reasonable expectations. Some simply need more attention and direction than others.

I tend to err on the side of over communication. I try not to bug the shit out of her with too much, but I do try to make sure we're both on the same page and not leaving anything to chance. This is because I've had quite a few experiences with miscommunication, and there's always something that can go wrong or change. Of course, some girls are just flaky or don't have good TCB skills in general, and you can't always help that no matter how hard you try. Still, do what you can for your part and hope for the best.

If I set an appointment ahead of time (not the same day), then I normally text the morning of to confirm we're still on. Then about an hour before the appointment, I'll text again saying I'll see her in about an hour (and that I'm very excited about seeing her, or some shit like that). Then about 20 minutes before I'll let her know I'm on the way. About 5 minutes before I'll say I'm almost there. Then I let her know as soon as I pull into the parking lot. It's overkill I know, but it seems to help. Has definitely cut down on my frustration level dealing with miscommunications.

[Smile Guy 69]

On the texting vs. calling issue, I have a different view. I prefer texting for several reasons.

Texting is more convienent to me. No need to play phone tag, no need to find the right time and place to talk, and no need to worry about who might overhear the conversation. It's not always convenient to make or answer a phone call, but I can send or read a text most anytime and anywhere.

Also, it's what the younger girls are used to. Texting is the preferred form of communication for most people in their twenties. I'm a long ways past my twenties, but I'm willing to go with the flow on this. I used to hate it, but I've come to prefer it myself. I especially avoided texting before smartphones. Anybody remember trying to text with the old phones when each key was used for several letters plus a number? So for each letter, you might have to hit a key several times. That sucked. But now with smartphones (and predictive text) it's quick and easy.

Finally, sometimes it's good to have info in writing. Granted, I don't keep texts long term. Always best to delete the evidence. But for communcating the day of the appointment, I think it actually helps make sure there are no misunderstandings about details. Much easier to make sure you got it right when it's in writing.

Just my two cents, though. Everyone has their own preferences.

[Moonchild]

I also prefer texting to actual phone call form. just have to be careful to text the right person. I made a mistake once when I was having multiple texts from people and sent a friend who was female a message that was meant for a provider.

Luckily it was sort of nonspecific so it was an easy fix lol