Providers vs Strippers... A GFE discussion <== all those mistakenly looking for GFs here should read.

[Whispers]

A recent observation I had never really given thought to is that Providers are much more like Wives. Strippers are much more like Girlfriends.

I have a wife at home.

After she got comfortable in the role as a wife she quit initiating sex but usually if I asked for it, we had sex.

Contact and discussions also changed as to who, how and when they were initiated. It quit simply "happening".

Once a Provider is comfortable with you, so long as she is available, when you ask her for sex, you usually get it as well.... Just like the wife....

But Providers and wives seldom call to just chit chat....

Girlfriends tend to call occasionally, want to drop by and see you, and are as prone to initiating sexual contact as you may be.

They also initiate time spent together doing other things as well.

From my observation..... Providers do NOT provide Girl Friend Experiences as much as they provide Wife Like Experiences......

Strippers I know, call or text me several times a week. Some almost daily......

Some strippers drop by the office to take me to lunch or dinner or to get me to do the same for them.

It is never obtrusive because I've always given permission or insinuated I would like them to drop by at times. I've given providers permission to do so but alas... never here from them. Which doesn't make sense because 3 different ladies probably COULD have dropped by the office and had me leave with them for an impromptu session a few times over the last 6 weeks....

I've never really thought about this much before the last couple of months.... It's the result of spending far more time alone than I have in years.....

I took a few months off from everything and everyone except, in all honesty, Indy Providers. My circle of friends was changed from the Attack Pack and Strippers to Hobbyists and Indies......

No Wife contact, Secretary was in love and that relationship was ending so minimal contact with her and I quit contacting any of the strippers I had been juggling while re-exploring the hobby from the INDY side.

All my social time and most P4P was going to the Indy segment except for a few strippers reaching out for help with Christmas.

I spent most of the last couple of months focusing on work and planning parties. Most of my physical needs as well as a good bit of companionship needs were met by Independent girls from this community.

Some of you ladies used to dance. Was it easier for you then to reach out and initiate contact with a guy you might have wanted to spend some time with than it is now as a Provider?


If a guy were to say to you "Call me anytime or drop by during the week and we'll go have lunch" could you see that as an invitation or does he have to be much more specific? i.e. Tuesday. Noon Be Here. Assuming of course that you actually have interest in spending more time with that guy.

Over the years I have had a few "relationships" with providers that went beyond the P4P by the hour scenario. In every case they were initiated by the provider but I was open to them.

All but one went phenomenally well. But... I wouldn't have changed a thing... I found them all rewarding..... Even the Crazy ending to the one bad one made for some great stories later.

Over the years I can say I've had hundreds of these kinds of relationships with strippers and I have never had a problem doing the initiating with the strippers.

I'm not sure why but part of it is my respect for a Provider's "business".....

I feel that when I ask a Provider to dinner I am potentially taking away an opportunity for her to make money.... not so with a stripper..... So I seldom "ask" a Provider..... Instead I mention "If you would ever like to..."

But at the beginning of January .... I seem totally relationship free and needed to pick a direction.....

Do I focus on new relationships I've recently built, pursue Indies I've met over the last couple of months, or do I dive back into the Strip Clubs?

There are a few ladies out there whose company I have tremendously enjoyed that have such phenomenal characteristics that I could certainly build the perfect lady out of a few of you.....

All I really want to do right now is focus on work and know that at the end of the day, a couple of days a week, someone I am comfortable with is waiting for me and the only effort I need to put in will be the donation left behind.... Well.... That and I hate to eat alone so dropping by for lunch occasionally is nice.....

Strippers..... by far...... seem to meet that need in me to look up from my desk or answer a phone and be surprised that someone is thinking about me (yes I know it's actually my wallet) ..... and get a little diversion from the daily stress....

Providers however....... have little drama attached..... and concentrating on work means limiting the drama........ But Providers mean initiating all contact.....

I'm rather confused lately..... Had I kept to strip clubs and strippers I wouldn't even be thinking this way...... I would have a new GF lined up and probably already filled the Mistress Spot.....


Not long ago I was out with some friends..... A mix of providers and hobbyists.... A couple of hours into the evening it just kind of just hit me as I was looking around........

I didn't don't belong there. Guys were groping the girls.... Girls appeared uncomfortable at times.... Liquor was flowing..... There were only two girls of interest in the mix that were not "taken" already.....

I understand it all..... But I'm a strip club guy. And in a Strip Club I always get paid attention........

When I realized I needed someone to be paying me a little attention I thanked everyone for their time and company and went to Palacios.

Sugars Friday afternoon...... Perfect 10 Friday Night... Sugars the next night.....

For the last 6 weeks I've been back in the clubs.....

I'll be over at Perfect 10 in a little while.....

Being a Strip Club Guy I never need to be lonely....

I don't have to work as hard to find someone to spend some time with ....

I can walk into a GC and managers, waitresses, DJs, barbacks and dancers all know me, say hello and contribute to an emotional l need I have to be recognized and fawned over....

For those of you ladies that opened your arms as well as your homes to me... to all of you guys and gals alike that extended invites......

Thank-you for the sense of camaraderie and friendship and I hope none of that changes....

Although I tried to be different for a while..... Someone seemed to want to always remind where where I belonged and I'm back there now.....

The pricing may be similar but the rewards at times far greater..... and since I can already manage the drama.... that's not even a downside.....

But for almost 3 months the Indies had me and were pulling me away..... Heck... I even started posting "nice" for a while.....

From an Entertainment standpoint I guess it's a good thing I'm back in the clubs!

[Bobave]

Interesting post. I mean that sincerely.

[deedeedoe62]

I agree. I hadn't even thought about my participation (and choice) in this manner. Very nice post.

[LadiesFan]

Wow dude.... ballsy move exposing your sensitive side.

Take care,
LF

[knotty man]

Originally Posted by LadiesFan

Wow dude.... ballsy move exposing your sensitive side.

Take care,
LF

i thought my balls were my sensitive side!

[Texasquest]

WOW Whispers you need to follow your heart on this one...Only you know deep down What you need..Hell you know "Whispers" better than anyone else does..IF the SC Gals fulfill your wants and needs better than an INDY then you need to go that direction..It sint a matter of whats right or wrong or good or bad.its a matter of" Whats better for Whispers".Its your investment whether it be cash,Time,or emotions.How you choose to invest is your decision.You need to do whats best for you.We all have different wants and needs is what makes us HUMANS.It would be Boring as hell if we were all the same.Where is the Fun in that? You are ahead of many of us just by the Fact that youhave set down and figured out what you really want out of this.Only thing left is for yuo to persue it and find the happiness and Cameradery you want..Best Wishes to you.I hope you find it....

[Yssup Rider]

Is this the birth of Whispers 3.0? Or the afterbirth of 2.0?

Glad you've found your mission in life, bro! Wherever the winds of stripclubbery blow you, may they blow you BB!

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

Is this the birth of Whispers 3.0? Or the afterbirth of 2.0?

Glad you've found your mission in life, bro! Wherever the winds of stripclubbery blow you, may they blow you BB!

That's on the rotation list for my sig line!

[Yssup Rider]

With my condiments!

[Vyt]

A very interesting, thought-provoking post. Allow me to share some of my thoughts on the subject. Some core assumptions I make in both hobbying and patronizing clubs - your mileage may vary, and adjust what value you attach to what I say accordingly.

- Looking for 'relationships' among providers is dangerous, and counter to what both expect.

- Looking for 'relationships' among dancers is dangerous, and counter to what both expect.

- Both dancers and providers will often try to convince you differently, by explicit word or by implicit deed.

- Both dancers and providers may, in fact, be looking for a relationship. (Note: this is the most dangerous of all.) However, I suspect this is actually fairly rare.

- However. Relationships between people, in general, are mercenary. This extends far beyond our little 'hobby' - people in general attach worth to their personal connections, whether they think about it or not. People see their friends as having some value. We are wired this way to a degree, society encourages it to a larger degree.

- Thus, the hobbyist-provider or dancer-client relationship (small r, not big r) *can* be healthy. With that hefty caveat, and opening of eyes, and most importantly, protection of trust. Simply because that 'mercantile' aspect is open and above-board. You're not trying to impress a young woman with how much you can spend on a wardrobe, car, and nightly entertainment, you're simply cashing in a ticket. And in return she is giving you *precisely* what you ask for.

- That being said: we are human. We have needs beyond the grinding of thighs, like it or not, admit it or not. Everyone is such, everyone has the basic core hierarchy of emotional needs (desire to be liked, desire to be respected, desire to be appreciated) that we fill through simple human contact. Providers and dancers are no different in this; they too are human.

So. Given all these assumptions (and feel free to disagree with any or all of these), I would argue that there isn't a lot of difference between what you describe with your dancer friends and the sort of friendships I've established in the hobby. Both providers and dancers often initiate contact with me - and in both cases, I *assume* it's because they need to work. (Because - and this isn't an assumption, it's simple fact - in both cases, this is their *job*.) I don't note that unless they're particularly rude or blatant about it; if I'm not in the mood I say so, if I'm short on cash I say so. The establishment of mercantile value (or lack thereof) established, she moves on. I have a lot of dancers who text me often as well. And it is gratifying to the ego (and in truth isn't this a large reason why we do it?) - but at the same time, I know, in an assumption that never has failed yet, that if I don't actually have a gravy train of free-flowing $20 bills and open bar tabs trailing in my wake, their interest is far less.

So, that's where we disagree. Where we do agree:

Not long ago I was out with some friends..... A mix of providers and hobbyists.... A couple of hours into the evening it just kind of just hit me as I was looking around........ I didn't don't belong there. Guys were groping the girls.... Girls appeared uncomfortable at times.... Liquor was flowing..... There were only two girls of interest in the mix that were not "taken" already..... I understand it all..... But I'm a strip club guy. And in a Strip Club I always get paid attention........ When I realized I needed someone to be paying me a little attention I thanked everyone for their time and company and went to Palacios.

And this is the core of, for lack of a better term, the "Gentleman's Club Experience". You never are the third wheel. There will *almost always* be a competing coterie of women to attract your attention, especially if you have a good reputation. You never need be the guy off sitting by themselves. The entire point of the exercise is for you to be the pursued, not the hunter. Again, tremendously gratifying to the ego, especially when the hunter is good at it.

That being said, many would interject here, aren't providers the same way? And in fact even more so - isn't the entire focus on you for however many hours you book? Well, yes - but there is less of the predatory hunt to it. It's far more mercantile and less illusionary. In a club, you can simply show up and see what happens. That spontaneity obviously can't really happen with the provider/client relationship, and I think that is what attracts a lot of men (certainly myself).

In any event, certainly worthy of further discussion. Assuming I haven't beaten the topic into a fine red paste.

[Whispers]

I'll be back later because unfortunately/fortunately... I'm actually still working......

But....

Don't read "relationship" into anything I'm looking for... I find myself in them from time to time..... but right now.... I'm focusing on work....

When I get real busy professionally... as I seem to be getting, I have less time for the hunt (which I do so thoroughly enjoy), and enjoy the fact that some ladies will initiate contact and express their availability....

Which is why more strippers tend to get in my wallet.....

Some of you PW LDs and WKs ought to be looking at the Strippers because they will give you the attention you like!... unless of course... your not spending money...

[irishlad]

There is a basic truth here.

Part of the value of a strip club is that you drop into this environment where hot sexy girls are hunting YOU and you sit back and permit the one that seems interesting to indulge you...quickly dismissing her if she fails to live up to the initial promise as you and only you see it without need for explanation. This is unusual in real life

Providers on the other hand, just the way the system works you have to reach out to them. As a result of this, entirely for mundane logistical reasons...BUT DON'T DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT ON SOME OF THEM OR YOU...you have to call them and basically request their attention...and even for many submit to an approval (screening) process.

The former is a usually a fantasy or at best a crapshoot for most would be mongers...the latter a sure thing which is a big difference, but the mode of engagement matters a lot.

[Guest031411-2]

Interesting...using an analogy indy/agency providers are a lot like your lawyers/doctors/etc... When's the last time your lawyer called you just to shoot the breeze especially if you haven't needed him/her for awhile? Whereas strippers are more like your bank, occasionally calling to see if you have some other value added service they could use for money. Lol, my bank is constantly trying to sell me life insurance or added protection or etc. etc. etc. Quite a dichotomy in the p4p market and one must find there way as one must. The important thing to remember is at the end of the day it is a business transaction between two consenting adults - nothing more, nothing less.

[Yssup Rider]

I thought Palacios was a town in South Texas!

Oh, and for the record, I am not and have never been a strip club kinda guy. Don't get lonely either, even when I'm alone... I've always been in front of the lights in one way or another. One on one is my preferred MO.

Not judgin'...
Just sayin'...

[NewWave]

Yssup Rider, i agree on the loneliness angle, often I feel most lonely when around people.

But unlike you I happen to really dig Strip Clubs, always have. I don't even get extras, I just enjoy the atmosphere. I've always enjoyed having a stripper sit on my lap and talk about mundane and meaningless parts of her life, I really dig it. I guess SC's might be trashy places but I find a lot of answers in them.

That's why I keep up with Whispers reports, because if I had his time, resources and movie star looks , I'd be spending more time in those places too. Unfortunatenly none of my friends go anymore so its solo time, plus the SCs in Killeen...forget about it. So even though I haven't been in awhile I've always been more comfortable with that scene than the Provider scene.

Originally Posted by Vyt

That being said, many would interject here, aren't providers the same way? And in fact even more so - isn't the entire focus on you for however many hours you book? Well, yes - but there is less of the predatory hunt to it. It's far more mercantile and less illusionary. In a club, you can simply show up and see what happens. That spontaneity obviously can't really happen with the provider/client relationship, and I think that is what attracts a lot of men (certainly myself).

In any event, certainly worthy of further discussion. Assuming I haven't beaten the topic into a fine red paste.

lot of great points by people on here, but Vyt you sort of nailed it for me.
it's hard for me to verbalize it, especially right now when my mind is a bit rattled on too much caffeine from earlier, but maybe spontaneity is the word I'm looking for. I'm trying to think of a better word but can't at the moment.

I feel like if something happens in a SC, it sort of just happens and I guess that's sort of how I view my life. Like I try my best to make my life as non-regimental as possible.

I suppose regular Provider sessions have a clock in/clock out feel to them that always nags at me. Don't get me wrong, there are some amazing providers on here who do their best to hide that feeling or that notion (klovve being exceptional), but I can always feel it in the back of my mind. It's certainly not their fault, it's just I can't get that notion out of my head.

But some guys like that feeling, they like things to be on time and for everything to go as planned, but I guess that's just now how I view life. I guess I see it more as a journey or odyssey, I just hope it ends well. sorry for getting philosophical.