________BLACK CLIENTS?

[djarchae]

i preface this discussion by conceding that i have been curious about "exchanging" for several years. i am in my late 30's and this year i finally crossed that threshold. two times only but its two more than this time last year.i am a reflection of a mother that is european and white, as well as an american father that is black. i was born in europe and spent half of my childhood there. the other half in the states. with the exception of the past 5 years, i have lived outside the u.s. i realize living in america pushes everyone to label and compartmentalize everything. i didnt learn the word 'biracial' until my 20's. my skin is tan and by default, because i currently live in texas, the easiest box for others to put me in is the 'black' box. i suppose i am black when in the u.s. (the irony here is that many people accuse others[of all races] as 'playing the race card'. in my case, someone has picked up my card and played it for me!)
so the first woman i decide to contact stated on her page " No A/A or African American men". i didnt even think about it at the time and after a couple of conversations on the phone she asked me to text or email some pics of me and i said of course and i sent her a few and after looking at them she called me and was pissed that i lied and that i couldnt read the fine print on her page.she actually thought i was duping her.anyway i say to her i am not african american, and even if i was, i wouldnt use that term because it is WAY too vague. for example, take a white couple from south africa that decides to marry and have kids in the u.s. their kids will be african american and they will be white. see what i mean? its too inclusive. that aside, i wasnt trying to be a smart-alec or argumentative or difficult, what i was doing was telling her that i wasnt knowingly misleading her.all my friends describe me as biracial when they are decribing my background to others. i suppose its like obama, who has been bestowed as america's first black president. its like acknowledging both races in his families history would be too confusing....
ANYWAY, the whole point of me starting thread is to ask a question that has been the elephant in the room everytime i surf sites like this one.
so, is there something i am missing here as to why there seems to be a constant preference of no "A/A" or 'blacks'. and of course i have no problem with a woman OR a man preferring or not preferring whatever they choose. THAT part i get, i just want to know why a (not large) steady amount of women that do post dealbreakers, 90 percent is always directed towards black men. so please when you reply, understand i am asking with genuine curiosity because its obviously a reason that i am unaware of because i am newish. whats funny is when i first noticed it i didnt think racial at all but more stereotyping because i assumed that these women were afraid of the large packages.it cant be that because the sample size is too big. thanks for reading the whole thing and i look forward to the knowledge that is about to be dropped by you all. peace

[Naomi4u]

edit: Damn I will stay out of this one. Comments could get ugly.

[Capt. Lincoln F. Stern]

My 2 cents is this: The term "African / American" to me infers that one of your parents is a citizen of Africa and the other an America. Oddly enough there are British living in areas of Africa that are sovereign areas OF Great Britain and those people have white skin.

If you were to slice ME up I am English, Irish, Dutch, and the other half is Texan.

Skin color has NOTHING to do with nationality.

There are black people born and raised in France and other countries. They are NOT African Americans.

If a lady does not wish to see Blacks, state THAT, do not classify them by their nationality... do so by skin color and lets see how business dwindles.

Besides, its all pink in the middle and from all the porn I have seen, "cum" is on one color anyway....

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Spirit13

If a lady does not wish to see Blacks, state THAT, do not classify them by their nationality... do so by skin color and lets see how business dwindles.

Yup! I make it very clear that I do not see black men and business is great!

[Chica Chaser]

Really?? Hasn't this dead horse been beat enough?

[Cpalmson]

Blame it on political correctness. African American is the flavor of the moment to describe a dark skinned person. We used to use terms like Negro, Colored, Black and now African American. Personally, I refuse to use the term African American and always call a person black. It makes the most sense because it is the most descriptively correct term. BTW, I'm the MOST politically incorrect person in the world.

As for why providers don't want to see black men, I think it can be boiled down to 3 reasons. 1) latent racism (let's be honest here), 2) incorrect belief in that black men are more well endowed than whites thus meaning painful sex and 3) belief that black men are more likely than another race to be abusive or try to take advantage of providers. I'm not saying I agree with any of this. It is what I perceive.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

As for why providers don't want to see black men, I think it can be boiled down to 3 reasons. 1) latent racism (let's be honest here), 2) incorrect belief in that black men are more well endowed than whites thus meaning painful sex and 3) belief that black men are more likely than another race to be abusive or try to take advantage of providers. I'm not saying I agree with any of this. It is what I perceive.

Totally false.

I am Nigerian and would NOT date a black american. However, I will date a black man from MY country in a heartbeat. It has nothing to do with them being abusive. I think it's safe to say white men can be abusive too and I know providers that have been taken advantage of by white men. It has nothing to do with them being well endowed.. Uh African men have really big .. yeah. While hobbying I refuse to see Nigerian men for personal reasons but I will date them outside the hobby... ... For obvious reasons.

Just my 2 cents.

We have the right to pick and choose whom we want to spend time with. I pass all my black clients to another provider and she's happy accepting them.

[Guest052611]

I hate to play devils advocate, but recurring stereotypes have some merit.
I was in a customers home the other day, and their daughter walks in with this FIREY orange red hair. I commented in the richness of the red, and they commented, " yeah, she has the attitude to go with it"
Do we deny that redheads are known for their short fuse attitudes?
I for one love the redheads!!
But how many times do you drive through the bad side of town before you start saying, " I think Im gonna take the highway through here from now on." ??
Or do you tell yourself to keep trying to find the good in that neigborhood?? Who cares, you like what you like, right??
Just my 2 cents.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by devilworm11

I hate to play devils advocate, but recurring stereotypes have some merit.
I was in a customers home the other day, and their daughter walks in with this FIREY orange red hair. I commented in the richness of the red, and they commented, " yeah, she has the attitude to go with it"
Do we deny that redheads are known for their short fuse attitudes?
I for one love the redheads!!
But how many times do you drive through the bad side of town before you start saying, " I think Im gonna take the highway through here from now on." ??
Or do you tell yourself to keep trying to find the good in that neigborhood?? Who cares, you like what you like, right??
Just my 2 cents.

YUP!!!

[Guest011914-1]

i am a fiesty red head and Irish to boot...wicked grin but I don't have a short fuse but I am passionate... My attitude comes from being a philly city girl...

Originally Posted by devilworm11

I hate to play devils advocate, but recurring stereotypes have some merit.
I was in a customers home the other day, and their daughter walks in with this FIREY orange red hair. I commented in the richness of the red, and they commented, " yeah, she has the attitude to go with it"
Do we deny that redheads are known for their short fuse attitudes?
I for one love the redheads!!
But how many times do you drive through the bad side of town before you start saying, " I think Im gonna take the highway through here from now on." ??
Or do you tell yourself to keep trying to find the good in that neigborhood?? Who cares, you like what you like, right??
Just my 2 cents.

[Trey]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Totally false.

I am Nigerian and would NOT date a black american. However, I will date a black man from MY country in a heartbeat. It has nothing to do with them being abusive. I think it's safe to say white men can be abusive too and I know providers that have been taken advantage of by white men. It has nothing to do with them being well endowed.. Uh African men have really big .. yeah. While hobbying I refuse to see Nigerian men for personal reasons but I will date them outside the hobby... ... For obvious reasons.

Just my 2 cents.

We have the right to pick and choose whom we want to spend time with. I pass all my black clients to another provider and she's happy accepting them.

What's up with the self hatred of your own people kinda crazy.

[Sweetbrandy256]

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by trey

What's up with the self hatred of your own people kinda crazy.

So I'll keep it simple...

I am not black American. I am Nigerian. I will date men from my own country thought I made that clear. I love the men in my country their skin is black but they're not black americans. So you see I have no problem with black people.

I have lots of black American girlfriends some that I have even done doubles with in the past I love black
American women. Hell black women I love them all! Love them!

BUT ...

I do not like black american men! Not only in the HOBBY, I AM JUST NOT ATTRACTED TO THEM! I have the right to pick and choose who I share my body with right ? There ya go! >>The keywords here are : black American.

***So it is not because I think they are abusive.. hell no white people are just as crazy. It is not because I think they're too big.. I have seen white guys with bigger! It is not because I have something against black people.. nope. It is because I simple do not like their style of doing things... a long list of things comes to mind.

Self hatred? They're not "my people" sweetie.

This world would be a boring place if we were all the same...right? Yes my skin is black but I'm not black american and I will not offer my services to them. Simple. I know what's best for me and my business

[Trey]

Whatever way you justify it to yourself

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by trey

Whatever way you justify it to yourself

I explained in full. If you still have a problem with it then fine darling. I just know what I like/want.