Does the Hobby Ruin Us for Vanilla Sex?

[John Q.]

For the gents, I imagine we get spoiled, being able to "custom order" our sack time based on our own selfish fantasies.

For the ladies, I imagine you get accustomed to the gift envelope as part the festivities. It provides a kind of "permission" that you can't duplicate with mere words. Even with a talented lover, on some level, it must be a let down when the envelope is no longer there.

I don't know anyone who's been deeply involved in the hobby who was able to return to a vanilla (monogamous) relationship. Not that I know the details of every couple I'm friends with, but I was just curious.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, it just is what it is.

[Jake B]

Variety can be the spice of life but spice alone cannot sustain one. I still enjoy my "vanilla" sex with the SO. I prefer the GFE style and well, she is the GF lol. Unfortunately she is so much more expensive than any provider. ;_;

[Guest062217]

I'm totally ruined from the Hobby...and I don't think I could go back to civilian girls (and I don't even want to) now.

When I am out at a bar/restaurant and I see the type of girls I would have approached (before I started hobbying) - all I see is girls who are going to be a pain in the ass to deal with. They're going to be jealous, or insecure or butt hurt because their ex cheated on them blah blah blah blah blaaaahhh..

Coupled with the fact that I would have to spend an unknown amount of time and $ dating just to try and get some vah-jayjay...hello no. I'm ruined - and I can't (and don't want) to go back to civilians now.

My best bet is to end up with a provider who eventually retires because she won't judge me nor I her...

[doug_dfw]

I am empowered by the Hobby. Damn spoiled. But could settle down to vanilla with my ATF because it would never be vanilla. It won't happen of course in reality. Sex is a small part of lifestyle. I could not be a true companion to her simply because our age difference.

[plove35]

Sometimes I wish I found the hobby before getting married....all I know if I ever get divorced no way am I getting in a civvie relationship

[oldbutstillgoing]

I have never encountered vanilla sex with a civi. But then for me sex is not a list of activities. It is the totality of the encounter. Only in the hobby have I encountered vanilla sex. No iop, no gfe, that is vanilla sex. A hole to stick it in and nothing more.

[pyramider]

Taint travels well, hobby or real world.

[Ramjet]

Yes, it is a dilemma. I personally know I could not hobby and go vanilla. Thanks to a serious automobile accident, I don't wish (or can't) do either, but I do know who would take care of me (in a medical manner) vanilla would.

[oldbutstillgoing]

And if I ever find the right civvie gal, I will log off here and never look back. No regrets, no 2ed thoughts. IOP is just that, an illusion. GFE? Will never compare to a GF who wants to be with me for the right reasons and not just because I am a walking ATM. No offense ladies, I really like several of the girls I have met here but I am under no illusions you would sleep with me if I was not paying. In fact, a few have but that is very rare exception.

I have a girl who is trying to convince me now that she is that gal. If she succeeds, you will know it when you look around and wonder what ever happened to OBSG. The hobby is the aberration, not real life.

Originally Posted by plove35

Sometimes I wish I found the hobby before getting married....all I know if I ever get divorced no way am I getting in a civvie relationship

[Guest062217]

Retired providers make the best civi girls......I'm serious...Now if I could only find the right one....

[Guest110416]

I have had many RW or civvie relationships where there was ultimate passion in the relationship, not just in bed, and those ladies have sex with a guy for various reasons, and one of those reasons is not because she is getting paid, at least in cash. Sometimes, after a while, the sex, in many cases, does turn vanilla, so to spice it up, guys will turn to and pay providers. Unfortunately, many BCD sessions with providers are basic vanilla sex, if that good, and virtually all of my vanilla sex sessions are not by RW ladies, but by providers who get paid, for one of many reasons, not to be vanilla!

So the answer to the OP question is no, and in many instances, just the opposite occurs in that having a RW relationship will spoil a guy away from providers, trick is, don't get married and if/when the scales of the relationship start to weigh out of your favor, go solo and/or trade her in for a newer/better model, so to speak. If only there was a magic phrase, word or even deed that a guy could say/do to get a guarantee that a provider will give a fantastic time to a hobbyist, there would be less research that needed to be done and over half the drama of this hobby would be eliminated, (YMMV, WKs, ect.) and reviews would be almost obsolete. I know there are no guarantees in this business, but wouldn't it be wonderful if the donation and all around respect (time, personal hygiene, person, ect.) from the hobbyist to the provider during contact and in person would be all a guy needed for her to show and give him a great time? See my signature line.

[Guest092216]

Originally Posted by SNL9933

Retired providers make the best civi girls...

Or wild civi girls make the best providers

[MassageHound]

I agree with OBSG, some of my worst vanilla sex came from the hobby. However, the kinkiest came from the Hobby. I guess it depends on what you are getting from the Hobby. After 20 yrs in, what I have searched out has varied over the years, but one thing seems to be the same .. "selfish, on my schedule sex" is what I get out of the hobby.

A good session is what I wanted, when I wanted it and my responsibilities ended when it ended. When I was single the hobby was awesome and adventurous, but didn't stop me from dating. When in a relationship, it is more of an outlet to relax and get special me time. So the Hobby has not ruined my regular sex life. The hobby has made it impossible for me to be monogamous that is all

[Spikebaby]

Originally Posted by SNL9933

Retired providers make the best civi girls......I'm serious...Now if I could only find the right one....

Would you consider someone with a pet monkey?

Spikebaby

[angusranch]

I think that monkey has spoiled alot of men...in a really good way!!