About the time that I reached puberty (don’t get excited Whispers) I told my dad that I wished I had one of those really cool Members Only jackets that some of the other kids were wearing.
His response? “Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.”
Fast forward to now….I’m all stressed out because I’m woefully underemployed, my ginourmous mortgage is kicking my ass, and I know that this bitch is going to be sending me a bill for twelve grand in the very near future.
I wish that just for a day, I could go back about a decade. You know, when the NASDAQ was over 5,000 and we all had stock options vesting quarterly.
I’d carelessly snort copious amounts of unmentionable substances, throw back a half dozen chilled shots of Petron’ Platinum, and spend the day with a really nasty woman, who I’d never met, for a full day of kinky sex. I think it would probably be Kat because she’s a self proclaimed slut and seems totally comfortable with it. Perfect (props to you girl).
But alas, there’s too many people relying on me to keep the ship afloat. So, here I sit with a hand full of shit. Jesus, I’m a poet and I didn’t know it. Fuck, I can’t stop, that’s just my luck, I suck….
So, what wishes are leaving you with a hand full of shit?
Wish in one hand and shit in the other....
