A question for providers regarding vouching and providing references.

[Whispers]

For years it has been discussed with passion and veracity how important it is for you girls to screen.

I would like to hear to what detail you go in determining what you share and what you do to determine the legitimacy of the person asking you for the information when you provide it.

I would also like to hear how much you feel is needed vs how much is too much.


Let me be totally open about the reason for this question.

A San Antonio Provider has disclosed confidential information about clients in open forums more than a couple of times now in the last few months. She is said to keep very detailed records of her encounters with gentlemen and she refers to these notes in providing extremely detailed vouches to the ladies that request it.

In the midst of the controversy surrounding her indiscretions more than a couple of ladies sent their concerns along to me and one mentioned that she had requested a vouch from the lady and had done so by text from a number she had never used.

I decided to test the behind the scenes opinion that the provider in question was so desperate for attention and admiration that she ran her mouth to everyone... She was banned and cut off from many of her admirers so it seemed possible at the time.....

I text-ed her from a GV number and grabbed a name out of the air... offered up a little praise and support and then asked what she could share with me about BillyDoesMeGood..... (name made up for the story)...

Flood gates opened and information spewed forth...... I was rather shocked.. not just that it was so easy... but the amount of information that she provided.

Over the next few weeks..... I repeated the same resulting in my coming to know far too much about a few guys.....

Condemn me if you wish for posing as a Provider but absolutely nothing was done to verify I was who I said I was......

Try to look past what I did to get the information and consider the end result please .....

Guys jump through hoops in some cases to get screened and expect a level of privacy from the professional he entrusted that information to.....

It could just as easily been a spouse, a GF, a jealous provider, a cop, an investigative reporter or some college kid writing a paper.... It was simply too easy.... I did not set up an account, send any PMs or emails or websites or facebook pages to build the image..... I simply texted, made a few flattering remarks, a few supportive ones that let her believe I was on her side.... and the gates opened wide.....

Back to the questions....


I would like to hear to what detail you go in determining what you share and what you do to determine the legitimacy of the person asking you for the information when you provide it.

I would also like to hear how much you feel is needed vs how much is too much.

[Beau Derierre]

Goodluck with this thread. Not a lot of ladies will share our screening tactics as LE is always lurking us :-(

[MochaNautteBBW]

I don't share my screening tactics on public boards. I wouldn't want certain people knowing how I screen...

[LNK]

Originally Posted by Beau Derierre

Goodluck with this thread. Not a lot of ladies will share our screening tactics as LE is always lurking us :-(

This isn't about screening tactics. Read the questions again.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Beau Derierre

Goodluck with this thread. Not a lot of ladies will share our screening tactics as LE is always lurking us :-(

Really?

No end to discussions regarding what guys need to provide for your safety but no assurance of how any of that information is kept safe once in your possession?

Okay.

[CarolineDavenport]

First, the reasons why I'm comfortable sharing some generic information: We are not super spies. Law enforcement is completely aware of how we screen. Very few, if any, of us are doing anything that would make them go "OMG I never thought of that!" They are simply lazy and chained by bureaucracy. Why go through a TON of trouble to get through the screening of one diligent lady when he can just call up a few backpage girls (yes, I'm generalizing about backpage here, but in my experience, this is the biggest pool of non-screeners), hit his quota in a few hours, and go get donuts. No one is fooling law enforcement here. Just my lil ol' opinion.

Now, to answer the question. I only take reference requests through email. This gives me time to research the lady (make sure she's contacting me from an email address that is listed in the advertising of an established escort), and that she has provided me sufficient information to believe this person has actually contacted her. She can't just give me an ECCIE handle. Give me his email address, first name, and phone number, at least. Sometimes less if I'm very familiar with the guy and I know his type (and therefore can be relatively sure he contacted the lady in question.) What I share is usually not anything that could identify him, specifically, but more the general attitude and personality she could expect. (ex: he's very shy, so you'll have to be the aggressor, and his hygiene is excellent). Things like that. These are the things I like knowing, so I can be prepared to offer a great experience for him, so I like to kind of give other ladies little tips to help out, too.

My client information is kept off site, nowhere it could be stolen or copied without a warrant, and seriously, LE is not interested in getting a warrant for my client list even if I'm busted. My crime is a misdemeanor, and so is yours. Not even worth the man hours to harass you. I'm not part of an agency, and I have no uber-famous clients.

If this makes you feel better, great. If it doesn't, consider that I'm a very careful and serious business woman. If you're not comfortable with me having this information and how I protect it, stop hobbying. Seriously. Because I'm very careful. Some aren't. Hobby wisely, loves.

[Audrey Astor]

I will answer the questions.

Obviously each of us has our own way of handling references. For myself and the ladies that I know, we first verify who we are speaking with. I personally check the phone number, e-mail address etc, to make sure it is a reviewed provider in good standing. Does she have recent posts, reviews, ads? is it likely that a 3rd party has her phone? I do not accept texting unless I know the lady.

Once this has been done, the conversation simply should entail, whether the gentleman is safe to see. Not what race he is, not what he looked like, not what activities took place, etc.

I am not pulling your leg, by giving you this information. This is how the ladies I know behave. I am not doubting what you are saying. It is definitely drama... and I think an anomaly as opposed to the norm.

[Whispers]

Thank-you for replying. I appreciate the response and I agree. No-one is fooling anyone here.

Originally Posted by CarolineDavenport

to answer the question. I only take reference requests through email. This gives me time to research the lady (make sure she's contacting me from an email address that is listed in the advertising of an established escort), and that she has provided me sufficient information to believe this person has actually contacted her. She can't just give me an ECCIE handle. Give me his email address, first name, and phone number, at least. Sometimes less if I'm very familiar with the guy and I know his type (and therefore can be relatively sure he contacted the lady in question.)

This is what I had assumed and expected. Not just checking to see if a person asking might actually appear to be another provider but also checking with the guy that he is trying to get vouched.

What I share is usually not anything that could identify him, specifically, but more the general attitude and personality she could expect. (ex: he's very shy, so you'll have to be the aggressor, and his hygiene is excellent). Things like that. These are the things I like knowing, so I can be prepared to offer a great experience for him, so I like to kind of give other ladies little tips to help out, too.

What about things like condom brands he prefers, condom sizes, specifics relating to his "package", snacks he might like, what he drinks, requests he made for clothing, etc?

Something I found unusual in information shared was when he was seen who did he provide as references to her..... I do not understand the relevance in a provider sharing past references provided...

If you could comment on those openly I would appreciate it.

I'm very careful. Some aren't. Hobby wisely, loves.

Once again I thank-you.

Obviousy a text message that went....

"Hi Caroline. I'm Becky. I am pretty new to all of this and I want to say that I think you are incredibly hot and I admire the confidence you speak with. This is all so scary to me. I hope I can have your kind of composure some day. The reason I am texting is that a guy named ExNYer has asked to see me and he seems to have seen you before. Is he safe to see?"


would probably not get far with you?

Do you find other ladies to be in the same general line as you have explained? Do you feel that you are adequately checked out by other ladies when you ask for a reference check?

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Holly Love

I will answer the questions.

Obviously each of us has our own way of handling references. For myself and the ladies that I know, we first verify who we are speaking with. I personally check the phone number, e-mail address etc, to make sure it is a reviewed provider in good standing. Does she have recent posts, reviews, ads? is it likely that a 3rd party has her phone? I do not accept texting unless I know the lady.

Once this has been done, the conversation simply should entail, whether the gentleman is safe to see. Not what race he is, not what he looked like, not what activities took place, etc.

I am not pulling your leg, by giving you this information. This is how the ladies I know behave. I am not doubting what you are saying. It is definitely drama... and I think an anomaly as opposed to the norm.

I've been around since the early days of ASPD and seen a lot of ladies.... I do not remotely think you are pulling my leg....

as much as I have analyzed different parts of the hobby over the years I never really gave it much though as to how you ladies dealt with each other....

In my mind it was done with a simple call to a girl and say..." This guy BillyBobBlue? Is he safe? Yea girl he's safe and a lot of fun but he will talk your ear off if you let him..... Set your alarm and shove him out the door or expect to wake up next to him after he bores you to sleep."

Done....

[CarolineDavenport]

I can't speak for other ladies. All I can say is if I got an email (since I don't publish my number and would be super angry if someone just handed it out to another lady) along those lines and couldn't confirm her as a reputable provider, I'd contact him and ask him if this was a person he was trying to see.

Usually I'll only speak about size if he requires a particularly large or small sized condom, since I don't know if she is ready for all sizes at all times. Would be very disappointing if he got there and has to squeeze into something too small, I think.

Regarding things like snacks, drinks, brands, etc, there's only so far I'm willing to hand hold. Communication with your intended date is key. I'm not trying to babysit their session, just give a tidbit here or there that I think might need to be known ahead of time.

I will only provide information about his previous references if I was perhaps warned about something, or given information that might still be relevant but wasn't for me. Example, if one of his refs told me he REALLY likes showers, but we didn't take one together, I might pass that on in case she wants to be ready for some shower play. Or if a previous reference (whom I trust) told me he can have a habit of canceling last minute, but it wasn't an issue when I saw him, I might still pass that on to her so she can be aware of that possibility.

As for other ladies behaving as I do with regard to references, all I can say is I experience the whole spectrum constantly. Most often all I get back is "he's okay" which is very frustrating to me, since "okay" means something different to everyone. How much they check me out before providing a ref, I couldn't say. What I can say is having ladies who give discreet but informative references will open a lot of doors for you, and help your future dates prepare for a better experience with you.

Edit for clarity: I would never say WHO a previous reference might have been, only WHAT she had to say. No need to go implicating anyone, I think.

[john_deere]

ladies, be aware that what's happening here is you've been called as unknowing witnesses in a kangaroo court convened by the self-appointed sherif, judge, and jury of the san antonio community…even though he's from austin.

this is all about a personal vendetta against the lady in question and he's admittedly trying to run her out of business.

rejection. it's a bitch.

[CarolineDavenport]

I'm not interested in the drama or vendetta. A question was posed. I found it interesting and was willing to participate in the discussion. If I start seeing the thread going south, I'll step away. Whatever is between him and this other lady is not my concern. I won't start trying to sort out which discussions are sincere and which are ammunition. Who has time for that?

[john_deere]

oh, it's going to go south, all right.

this guy is a bully who's run into a nut he can't crack.

[Guest062114-5]

I applaud Caroline and Holly for their well thought out answers and quite frankly I'm a bit offended for them that you think they are clueless to the wield around them. The question, regardless of the motivation is a good and thought provoking one. One that helps people decide for themselves what information exchange is appropriate.

Nicely done ladies.

[john_deere]

don't be offended. i don't think they're clueless, and i thought the answers were great. i'm just making it clear what's really going on.