A question for Ladies that have been Mistresses/Sugar Babies and the guys that kept them

[MarleyMonroe]

Originally Posted by Whispers

That's sad darlin..... Really Sad......

Yup... who you telling! But i love the company, its nice being around someone who tells you nice things vs. being around an ass hole who be-littles you ya know. Even if it is just for an hour!

[Rand Al'Thor]

Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

I believe what this comes down to is perspective.



I could ask what you did to them for them to want the privilege of jeopardizing your life.

Sure you could. Of course you just did, right?

Nope, it was to highlight that you've apparently had a much different experience and seem to be talking about another part of the spectrum of SD/SB relationships than most of us in this thread are talking about.

Of the many SBs I've had, only 3 have parted on less than friendly terms - they just disappeared. I suppose it could be the types of girls you find, type of person you are, or it could be that I’m not married and they didn’t see anything obvious about my life to jeopardize. Another possibility is that they actually mean it when they tell me, years later, that they still consider me a friend.

You're a lucky man, Rand.

I would like to think it's the way I set the tone for the arrangement and making clear the boundaries than luck.

So where is the line that marks capitulation? Where is the line for P4P, SD/SB, girlfriend, and friend?
Long-term financial commitment; name on a lease, contract, credit card, etc.

It would really depend on how you arrange those things and how you limit your exposure in those situations whether it is capitulation.

I’m not sure I get your distinction between these relationships and P4P.

You don't find a difference between an emotional commitment and a multi-hour tryst? If not, then obviously this is an invalid discussion because we aren't speaking the same language, nor will we ever on this subject.

I understand the difference between an emotional commitment and multi-hour sessions, but I don't see that we're talking about emotional commitments until you brought it up. You're right, if you want to distill what's being discussed in this thread, it is volume discount in exchange for steady monthly income.

I will go with the assumption that you’re labeling hourly encounters by advertising providers P4P, and time spent with mistresses not P4P. When you ask yourself the question why you keep putting yourself in the position of caretaker or good Samaritan, did you ever get an answer? Some people certainly get a sense of satisfaction from charity or helping others, some don’t. Maybe this was your way of finding out you’re the latter…or maybe you just felt guilty about getting something out of it instead of it being a completely altruistic act.

Nice shot, bubba. I don't need to address that. Personal attack unnecessary.

It wasn't a personal attack, or an attack of any kind. I don't know your philosophy, you said it made you feel bad about yourself so I made allowances for both sides.

What heartache? I get the feeling that you’re talking more about affairs rather than SD/SB/P4P arrangements. No one here suggested love. Like, enjoy spending time together…sure. Love is a four-letter word around here. As for having a paid concubine, is she less of a concubine if you only keep her for an hour? How do you feel about keeping a list of “courtesans”, “escorts”, or “providers” you go through, does that make you feel better about yourself than focusing on one or three?

Yeah, we're talking about different things here. I'm talking about a relationship and you're talking about a volume discount.

Essentially. Though I don't quite understand why you're talking about relationships. I didn't really see anything in this thread that would lead someone to think what we're talking about are relationships involving emotional commitments.

You might not be here for the purpose of judging, but you are judging. Don’t be ashamed, I’m proud to say I categorize and judge everything and everyone in order to try to understand their nature. You would have to stop thinking to stop judging… Don’t deny that you are. I hope you can say dog shit can be judged to have very little value.

To a dog, dog shit has enormous value. And believe me, I'm not ashamed. You live like you want to live. So will I.

So we'd have to be dogs to see this enormous value in what you call dog shit.

As for the mommy/daddy issue, it’s a possibility. I’m sure there are some that are trying to act out their mommy/daddy issues through these types of relationships, just as some must be acting them out with hourly providers. There might be others who just find young girls of optimal child-bearing age very attractive because they’re just ruled by what’s left of their instincts, but that would just be pure speculation and about as useful as…well, dog shit.



I don’t know that any of us are hobbying an hour at a time or hours at a time to make meaningful improvements to our lives. I think either markets cater more to the immediate gratification of base desires.

My experiences have been vastly different. No pain, sorry or acrimony.



Considering your past posts about this subject, I doubt you were specifically the one they were trying to impress by bragging. Though…again, I find the line between sharing experiences and bragging hard to find in the sand, and there are always even less open-minded people who might deem the rest undignified.



An hour is an arbitrary time block, and one side of an arbitrary line wears shazy croe, the other side shlings fit.



Secret is to do nothing you would feel guilt about and to not feel guilt for things you should not feel guilt about. Then again, that’s a much bigger topic than thread about mistresses, providers, hourly vs. monthly concubines, sugar babies and daddies, mommy and daddy issues on a hooker board.

If you’re just looking for happiness in SD/SB relationships, it’s simple. Either don’t have them if they make you feel bad, or draw better lines in the sand.


Amen to that.

I disagree with us all being damaged, but that will derail this discussion further than it could be hoped to salvaged.

Obviously that's not much of a concern, since you chose to make that part of your back and forth.

A bit, but far from delving in.

I’m not sure I understand why a semi-permanent arrangement of sessions of differing length would make you feel bad in particular. If I remember, there have been mongers who have regular, ongoing, less than committed monthly or bi-weekly arrangements with pros here as well as many who have multi-hour engagements.

Putting words in my mouth bro... that's not the relationship to which i referred. I have had plenty of "regular" weekly and biweekly relationships with providers over the years. But I wouldn't lump that together with the SB-SD type of arrangement so glorified by some in the group.

I think this red part was yours, though not color coded. You're responding to my reply to saj1000, I wasn't putting words in your mouth.

Some of us make the choice not to have kids, whether you see the act of procreation as the ultimate ego trip (not all of us are open about it as George Foreman with George, George, George, George and Georgetta), or see it as a commitment we’re unwilling or unprepared to take on. Now, talking about raising kids to “mentoring” or giving advise to sugar babies is a big stretch.

A member of this board made that part of his post and his thread. That's what impelled me to post. I found that assertion to be ludicrous as well. But of course you know that.

What Sixx said was that he would enjoy the mentoring part:

Originally Posted by sixxbach

I am not crazy to think I could truly date some 18-19 year old but it would be nice to hang out with one, show them experiences they have not had yet. It would make me feel young again. I would feel good knowing I helped them on their early start in life.

You replied to this post by bringing up your experience raising kids. I agree, the comparison is ludicrous.

Aren’t they all someone’s daughter, or is it better to take your own lingerie shopping?

No. They're all the spawn of the devil. What the hell are you on about?

That a 18, 20 year olds as well as 30 and 40 year olds are someone's daughter. So What the hell are you on about here "But go shopping with someone else's daughter for lingeree...well isn't that spectacular."?

See, that’s just cruel to load up on asparagus before she gives you a world class blowjob. Running into acquaintances while out with a SB isn’t any different from doing the same while out having drinks or dinner with a provider. You may not be in a position to do it as freely as some of the other who do, and we all have to assess our risks according to our own situation. I’m single, I don’t actively hide my hobbying and most of my family do not live in town. My risk is close to none.

Well, I would not presume to judge any single man who's engaged in the hobby. But of course, I am, shamelessly and without reservation... which makes it very hard to get into a classy restaurant with a 6-foot, 19-year old babe in stipper heels and a miniskirt on my arm.

I get that SD/SB thing isn’t your cup o tea, but to think that we’re taking girls in mini skirts and stripper heels to “classy” restaurant is plain dumb.

Choices. Perspective. If not, BRING OUT THE HOLY GRENADE!

Brother Maynard, please read from the book of armaments...

I don’t see it as playing benevolent benefactor, it’s using the time you have together. If one of your clients gave you computer help or financial advice, does that taint their help because they just had sex with you? Quid pro quo and things aside from the Bargain don’t have to forever bleed into each other and make everything tainted.

Sorry you can't get your mind around this, amigo.

Some people are still sexually repressed, despite engaging in the adult industry, that having sex with someone (or getting a bbbjtcim) tends to color everything else about that relationship.

Holy hell, where did you get charity, benevolence or love from this thread? I think you read a lot into this thread that were possibly more from your experience than what’s written. This is about money, this is about some semblance of security for the girls, this is about developing a bit more of a relationship than open door, suck, lick, fuck, drive away (or in Sixx’ case, suck, suck, suck).

I'm totally down with that. I just felt a lot of degradation coming out of a lot of the posts, as well as what I perceived to be braggadocio about taking advantage of a young girl in need.

What else is there on this board in the way of male contribution besides degradation, flirting, bragging, or bullying? Doesn’t seem like men are capable of much else.

I don’t see much, if anything, in this thread that sounds degrading.

Though I think you might have something… If giving to charities came with a HJ or BJ, that might drum up more of the giving spirit!

Actually, I do a lot of work in the community and on the larger scale that has NSA. Of course, I ALWAYS get a HJ out of it...



This is becoming the same discussion as The value of a nut thread. I personally don’t see much of a fulfillment to a FBSM session, but others like it. I judge it for me, but I don’t try to set the value of such for others.

As to how the ladies here see this, I think you’re asking a stacked jury, no?

I prefer nice perky boobs...

I guess that depends on what you think are the reasons.

It IS a matter of perspective.

If if works for you, knock yourself out. But understand that not everybody thinks it's as cool as you do.

It does work for many of us. What was shared in this thread wasn’t about bragging. You don’t have to think it’s cool, just don’t ride in on a high horse, look at what we do through lenses colored by your past and call it dog shit because of it.

(PS -- next time, have the common decency to use a different color font!)

I use quote tags instead, makes it easier to reply. Besides, it’s debatable whether decency is common these days.

[Smokin Joe]

That must have been really important cause it was really long.

[Yssup Rider]

Originally Posted by Smokin Joe

That must have been really important cause it was really long.

No Sher, Shitlock! And this is supposed to be the "clever" member of the pack-that-shall-not-be-named.

Originally Posted by Rand Al Thor

What else is there on this board in the way of male contribution besides degradation, flirting, bragging, or bullying? Doesn’t seem like men are capable of much else.

That was my take away from your lengthy and no doubt time consuming response to my lengthy and positively time consuming response, Professor Al Thor. That you hold "men" in low esteem, but not so low that we can't kick the shit out of the little girls.

I was trying to understand what this thread was all about. You clarified it for me -- it's about a "frequent buyer's card" with a disposable provider. Nothing more, nothing less.

That said:


DAMMIT

RAND!

I

DEMAND

COLORED

RESPONSES


(Ain't we a bunch of silly bastards?)

[Reya Sunshine]

I like Rand and don't see him as part of any group other than the group of people who spend way too much time posting things here and I can't say anything about that since I'm a member of the same group.

Oh and to say something on topic so I don't risk points: I enjoy a SD/SB relationship because it's almost like "relationship lite" it's almost like a real civie relationship but everyone knows what the ultimate deal is and you don't have to risk your feelings getting hurt. Also, I only do them if the guy is willing to match what I could make as an escort on my own per month.

[Yssup Rider]

Originally Posted by Hannah Heresy

I like Rand and don't see him as part of any group other than the group of people who spend way too much time posting things here and I can't say anything about that since I'm a member of the same group.

CHIT baby, I guess we ALL are!

[Rand Al'Thor]

Originally Posted by Smokin Joe

That must have been really important cause it was really long.

It's life and death, man... LIFE. AND. DEATH.

Glad you contributed to it though. Your impartial wisdom brought so much to the table, I can't thank you enough!

Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

No Sher, Shitlock! And this is supposed to be the "clever" member of the pack-that-shall-not-be-named.



That was my take away from your lengthy and no doubt time consuming response to my lengthy and positively time consuming response, Professor Al Thor. That you hold "men" in low esteem, but not so low that we can't kick the shit out of the little girls.

If that was your take away, you missed the sarcasm, and you're supposed to be the funny one of the brood!

I was trying to understand what this thread was all about. You clarified it for me -- it's about a "frequent buyer's card" with a disposable provider. Nothing more, nothing less.

This from a man who's glad his trysts are an hour long at a time. I guess you missed the posts where I mentioned an SB moving away to grad school after I supported her through her degree, another moved on after I paid off her car (that she had financing for already), others finding BFs and moving on. I would think an hour long commitments are more "disposable" in nature than months long, but what the hell do I know?

That said:


DAMMIT

RAND!

I

DEMAND

COLORED

RESPONSES


(Ain't we a bunch of silly bastards?)

NO COLORS FOR YOU!

[Rand Al'Thor]

Originally Posted by Hannah Heresy

I like Rand and don't see him as part of any group other than the group of people who spend way too much time posting things here and I can't say anything about that since I'm a member of the same group.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, Hannah, but there exists a shadow group within ECCIE. We have weekly meetings to plan our board dominance, which strippers we're going to con into giving up extras, and which hookers we can coerce into giving us freebies for our favorable reviews. If you happen to agree with any of the members who remain unnamed, you have no choice. You will be inducted into the group, a leather jacket sewn on with patches, and your name forever written into the roll call scroll of Single Mothers Assistance Coalition.

Oh and to say something on topic so I don't risk points: I enjoy a SD/SB relationship because it's almost like "relationship lite" it's almost like a real civie relationship but everyone knows what the ultimate deal is and you don't have to risk your feelings getting hurt. Also, I only do them if the guy is willing to match what I could make as an escort on my own per month.

See, some do get it.

[Reya Sunshine]

S.M.A.C .... as in "to talk a lotta shit"?

Originally Posted by Rand Al'Thor

I'm sorry to disappoint you, Hannah, but there exists a shadow group within ECCIE. We have weekly meetings to plan our board dominance, which strippers we're going to con into giving up extras, and which hookers we can coerce into giving us freebies for our favorable reviews. If you happen to agree with any of the members who remain unnamed, you have no choice. You will be inducted into the group, a leather jacket sewn on with patches, and your name forever written into the roll call scroll of Single Mothers Assistance Coalition.



See, some do get it.

[Yssup Rider]

Originally Posted by Rand Al'Thor

NO COLORS FOR YOU!

NOW THAT'S FUNNY!

The rest of it ... well ... I guess that's funny, too!