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08-22-2015, 01:51 AM
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#91
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Posts: 12,157
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Ran into a buddy up North
Who shared a recent experience.....
Quote:
The return of MANNY the WASHROOM ATTENDANT
So last night I was working at the club when I went into the washroom to take a leak. As I walked into the washroom I noticed the ever-beloved washroom attendant. This guy was not the usual African washroom attendant; he looked kind of Filipino.
I stood there with that uncomfortable feeling you get while pissing when someone’s watching you. I finished and walked over to the sink to wash my hands. As I turn the water on he squirts a bit of liquid soap into my hands. Then he asks, “can I polish your helmet?” Not sure if I’d heard him right, I gave him a “what”. Then he reaches down and grips my package like he was gripping a baseball about to throw a knuckle ball and says it again, “can I polish your helmet?”
He says since he has had a dry spell for a few weeks and working with strippers and watching titties all night puts a strain on the testicular chemicals I figured what the hell I’ll try anything once.
This guy reaches down, undoes my zipper and gently takes out the big lad and flops it onto the sink. He turns on the water, squirts a little liquid soap into his hands and starts stroking my manhood with amazing rhythm. Afraid of the embarrassment if someone walked in, I close my eyes and started to imagine that it was one of the girls working that night that was doing the stroking.
A few moments go by and I feel my toes start to curl and my ass cheeks clinch tight and suddenly I unloaded on the counter knocking over his bottles of Polo and Obsession. It was like shooting tin cans off a wooden fence. He gently rinses off the big lad with some luke warm water, dries him off and tucks it back into my pants for me.
Standing there unsure of what just had happened, I awkwardly started digging into my pocket looking for a couple quarters to tip this guy. Without hesitation this guy pipes up and says “that’s ok mister bouncerman, that ones on the house”. Still feeling overwhelmed I start for the door when this guy grabs me by the arm and says “my names Manny and I’m here all week”.
God damn, I thought you guys were just shitting about this guy but it’s true, Manny's alive and well.
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08-24-2015, 08:11 AM
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#92
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 10, 2015
Location: WNY
Posts: 527
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What do you call 40 millionaires watching super bowl on TV?
The Buffalo Bills....
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| 2 users liked this post
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09-21-2015, 03:55 PM
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#93
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Account Disabled
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@ Bluee
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| 3 users liked this post
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09-26-2015, 09:00 AM
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#94
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jun 1, 2015
Location: Inahouse
Posts: 685
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When I was a youngster I asked my dad for $5 to buy a guinea pig.
He gave me $10 and told me to get a nice Irish girl.
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09-26-2015, 01:09 PM
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#95
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 16, 2014
Location: Sodus BAY
Posts: 713
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what did you do with the extra five dollars?
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09-26-2015, 03:10 PM
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#96
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Posts: 12,157
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^^^
LMFAO!!!!!.......
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09-26-2015, 03:24 PM
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#97
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 12, 2009
Location: near Lake Ontario
Posts: 48,943
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celso
LMFAO!!!!!.......
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that was a great next post by kor
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09-26-2015, 03:36 PM
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#98
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Posts: 12,157
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Quote:
Originally Posted by offshoredrilling
that was a great next post by kor
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It soitionly was!!!......
It should get a dozen likes!!!......
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10-06-2015, 10:47 AM
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#99
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Posts: 12,157
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11-07-2015, 02:03 PM
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#100
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Posts: 12,157
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A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?" "Yes" says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite counter tops."
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11-07-2015, 03:35 PM
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#101
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Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 2, 2010
Location: Rochester
Posts: 156
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Celso...I just spit up a little through my nose. That one was a beauty!
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12-08-2015, 11:19 PM
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#102
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Account Disabled
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12-12-2015, 01:43 AM
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#103
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Posts: 12,157
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12-22-2015, 08:14 PM
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#104
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 10, 2015
Location: Rochester NY
Posts: 202
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How do you make a gay love vagina again?
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12-22-2015, 08:14 PM
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#105
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 10, 2015
Location: Rochester NY
Posts: 202
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Pack it full of shit!!!
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