crazy vegas adventures

[pxmcc]

well it looked like the ayes carried. the no voters were kind of pussies though. really didn't get the kind of commanding no's i was looking for. i know ya'll aint shy. so it wasn't that. anyway, be that as it may, here goes. chapter 2 commences. for those of you who dont like math, gonna try to steer clear to the extent possible. forgive me ahead of time, but this class may get a wee bit technical...

[Sjc21108]

Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter

Well .... she showed up right on time.

It got pretty nasty ... lots of whimpering ... her too.

Two weeks without pussy makes GS a mad man.

He beat that shit up all night and once again at 0900.

He was long strokin' and short strokin'

He was bustin' nuts this way and that way ... two per skyn. He couldn't stop. That GS is fuckin' crazy.

His surfboard might have even scared that girl for life.

And anyone gives a crap why? Your stupid is overshadowing the OP's stupid. If you were trying to parody the OP. Fail.

[pxmcc]

Chapter 2
So after winning a lousy 800 bucks on the dice tables, i thought, boy that was fun. and that, my friends, is how they get you. i want to return to a certain papa mcc's theory of beating vegas. and i need to introduce you to some terms: Martingale and Anti-Martingale. honestly, i don't know who the fuck Martingale was; some genius? some retard? and why the hell was Mr. Antimartingale so opposed to Mr. Martingale? maybe Martingale was the HOA president, and Antimartingale was the one that mailed him the dead fish. smh. well it turns out papa mcc's perpetual motion machine was a classic martingale scheme (right up there with a Ponzi scheme IMHO). let me demonstrate a classic martingale scheme. let's say i sit down on a roulette table with a table minimum of 3$ and a table maximum of 1000$. i pick one of the bets that is as close as possible to a 50/50 bet. lets say red is my favorite color and i decide to bet on red. what if i bet 3$ on red. black comes up. what do i do? well certainly red is due, right? course. so i bet 6 on red. whoops another black. i'm 9$ in the hole. well shoot if i bet 12 on red, im still going to make a profit, right? sure. so i bet 12 on red. oops unlucky day. 00 green comes up. and im thinking well now red is a sure bet; it's clearly overdue. i put 24 on red. gotta hit now for sure. nope another black. damn. im outta pocket 45$. well shit i can't quit now. where the f is my damn red? so i put 48 on red. my palms are getting sweaty. i'm getting kind of agitated. i look around nervously. the dealer spins the wheel. the ball bounces around and lands on RED! im overfrickin joyed. the dealer pays me my 48$, and i sit down to order a big fat margarita. i count my chips. i realize i have 3 more dollars than when i started my little "progression." wow i almost had a heart attack and i made 3$! im rich! that, my friends, is a classic martingale progression. sounds pretty dumb, huh? especially for 3$!

well what if i'm a baller stud and i say fuck it. i'll show up with 5 grand and i will cover any damn bet i lose, and fuck the 3$. i'm going to use an aggressive Martingale so i don't stress for a lousy 3$ profit. i want to stress for a real win. so here's the sequence: 5, 12, 30, 80, 200, 500, 1000. and i'm going to give it a name, i'm going to call it Victoria's progression, in honor of my gf at the time. and what if some hypothetical baller had the kahunas to actually do it? someone who clearly just doesn't give a fuck and gets a kick out of everything? how would that work out, i wonder?

alright so our hypothetical gambler explains his "system" to his friend, let's call him Jack. and Jack says, "Dude that's fucking stupid! You're gonna win a little, and win a little, and then, you know what? you're gonna lose your shirt." and so our hypothetical gambler says, "well Jack, if you're so smart, how would you roll?" and Jack says, "ya i am fucking smart, and i will explain how it's done." and so he does.

And Jack says, "Alright listen up. i sit myself down on the same table as you. but you're over married to fucking red and you're not watching the board. u don't have a clue what's hot. odds? high numbers? black? i'm gonna bet with the board. i'm gonna put down 20$ down on the best 50/50 bet on the table. if i hit, my next bet ups to 25. if i hit again, i go up to 30. if i miss, i drop down to say 15. if i miss again, i drop down to like 8. that way i'm making money when i'm hot, and when i'm not, im not losing too much. unlike you dumbass. you're gonna lose ur shirt." Our gambler is not convinced.

what Jack explained is called the Anti-Martingale system. So who is right?

so the following New Years, crazy i was still dating the same gal, Victoria and i headed west, to the city of Sin. Cobbled together a respectable bankroll of about 3500. Got a rec for the El Cortez from papa mcc so that's where i went. great hotel. great service. great frickin food; the tempura shrimp is to die for. got in plenty of fucking, sightseeing for the gal. with my little piece of shit 3500 bankroll, we got treated like royalty. everything was comped, Porterhouse steak every night, moved us into one of the newly renovated suites, the only thing we paid was tips. lotsa ones. always had 40$ in ones. left my bankroll as front money at the cage. pick it up on the way to the tables, drop it off on the way back. had lots of small wins. 300, 200, 400, that kind of shit. mainly dice, but we mixed in some roulette too. my gf liked blackjack so i'd give her a 100 bucks and told her to go have fun. she actually came back with a profit a couple of times. i was like"good job sweety!" and i'd kiss her like she just won the lottery.

it happened one particular afternoon. i'm on a good table. confident shooters. everyone in a groove. hi fives, yelling and screaming. then something changed. 7 out, line away. 7 out, line away. 7 out, line away. good shooters looking at the dice like they got a damn hex on em. im smh. smmfh. i stop betting. i just wait for the dice to get to me. i have no plan. im not a good shooter. honestly, i don't know how to shoot. but i wait. and it comes. "you gonna shoot?" "yup." "you need a line bet down." deliberately, i put my min bet down. i think it was 5$. and i start playing with the dice. turning them around, analyzing the numbers. i focus on the 7s. i think, "what if i set the 7s to the sides, and throw kind of soft, right down the middle of the table?" and that's what i did. threw a 6. take full odds. 50. 2 rolls. hit a 6. 1st point. pays 65. i remember what my little bro told me. pass n 2 comes, full odds, press the action on a hot shooter. i press my flat bet to 10$. throw a 4. 100 odds on the 4. 10$ to the come. throw a 9. full odds 100 on the 9. another come bet 10$. throw a 6. take full odds. 100 on the 6. throw a 4. 2nd point. pays 210. people start clapping. come out bet, press to 15. "i want everything working on the come out." "alright, everything working." (that means i really don't want to see a 7 even though a 7 is usually good on the come out.) throw a 9. pays 160. bets start flying all over the table. i start blocking everything out. perfect set. perfect set, perfect throw. that's all that's going through my mind. i press my flat bets up to 20. 200 odds. i push to a pass and 3 comes. hit another point. the pit boss gets on my case for rolling short. "shooter both dice to the back wall." i sorta acknowledge him. i heard the dealers go easy on you if you tip em, so i start throwing tips at the dealers to shut em up. i keep rolling. i press my flat bets to 50. full odds 500 each. the table is going nuts. hit another point. 4th in a row. it was an 8. paid 650. pit boss is getting really agitated. "Both dice to the back wall!" he bellows. i'm like, "i'm trying." well i'm not really trying. what i'm really trying is to not 7 out. that's all i'm tryin to do. another point. i think it was a 10. paid a 1000 on my 500 odds bet plus 50 flat. utter. fucking. mayhem. there are stacks of black chips all over the table. the pit boss stares me down. "the last time i'm gonna say it. both dice to the back wall." i got $ on every number on the table, all 500 odds bets. i take 2 reds, push em to the dealer. "i wanna press my 6." pass him a black. "full odds." "100 odds on the 6. puts you at 60 flat, 600 odds on the 6." i push 2 more reds to him. "press my 8." "pressing the 8." i push a another black in. "full odds." "bringing it to 600 odds on the 8." people all around the table start throwing blacks down. "300 place the 6, 300 place the 8." i look at the dice. you could hear a pin drop. i set 44 on top, 22 behind, 7s to the sides. throw. perfect throw. dealer calls it. "Hard 8!" I literally pick my girlfriend up and we do like 3 360's. dealer pays me 780 on my flat and odds bet on the 8. the dealers pay out what looked like 15k on that one roll. pit boss stands up and points at me: "Shooter you are dqed! I told you for the last time, both dice to the back wall! Pass the dice!" Well shit i got like 3k sitting out there on the table and i'm thinking i'm about to get fucked by some shitty shooter so i bark out, "All bets down." Well the pit boss explains, "You can take all your odds down but your flat bets are staying up." "all odds down." the dealer hands me about 3k of odds bets back, and i resign to wait to see all my flat bets creamed, and then something astonishing happens. somebody yells to the guy to my left:"Shooter, pass the dice!" and he does. and so does the next person. and the next. they're trying to get the dice back to me, the hot shooter. i'm thinking in the back of my mind, if this works, is he gonna let me shoot? well i never found out, cause some dumbass grabbed the dice and rolls. "7 out, line away!" brilliant, fucking brilliant!

stay tuned!!

quiz question-was that Martingale or Anti-Martingale? did it work? how much would i have made if i gone Martingale?

[pxmcc]

yall leave gs alone. pick on me. im a prick; he's probably a nice guy.
where the hell is space anyway? i miss his brutal sarcasm. someone tell him to get his fat md ass in here. lol.

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Oh my Tebow...he doesn't get it...

He can't really be this slow...can he? I can't watch this anymore...

Dude...Spice is making fun of you, he's not being supportive, he's leading you to embarrass yourself some more...catch a clue and stop already...it's embarassing enough...

hey wakeup. in case i forgot to say it before. kiss my ass.

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by Russ38

It would take a full out, modern day genocide.....I'll start warming up the ovens.....

thx russ. that's a real nice thought. mods u keep giving me point penalties for calling people out. you don't find russ' comments grossly offensive and in extremely poor taste? are there any Jewish folks in here that think Russ' comments are funny?

[Russ38]

Hey genius.....where did I once ever reference Jews in that statement?

[pyramider]

I thought you were referring to Bosnian Serbs.

[kerwil62]

[oilfieldscum]

Originally Posted by pyramider

This thread needs better taint.

I fixed that for you.

Originally Posted by kerwil62

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by kerwil62

but ker if u don't wanna hear this stuff, i aint forcing ur attendance! lol. this class is strictly elective. lol.

[pxmcc]

where are all the haters? ya'll pop a valium or something?

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by Russ38

Hey genius.....where did I once ever reference Jews in that statement?

if it wasn't the jews, who exactly got the oven treatment at the hands of the nazis? dg specifically said it would take the Nazis to save this thread. smmfh.

[WoodieTx]

^^^

[Guest071217-1]

Someone is obviously needing attention.